7 Ways To Control Your Urge For Sexual Overstimulation

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Aug 11, 2023
sexual overstimulation

The truth is that feeling shame around sexual overstimulation only prolongs and worsens the issue.

That’s why at The Tantric Academy, we don’t shy away from topics that others would deem “taboo.”

Star Wars reminds us, “Rebellions are built on hope!”. 

It helps to have support, a robust plan, and knowledge to rise above your demons. So, I’ve created these seven steps so you can rebel against unhealthy sexual behaviors.

It’s time for action and sexual liberation!

What is male sexual overstimulation?

Sexual overstimulation happens when a man engages in too much sex. The result is that the penis becomes dry and itchy when touched by you or your sexual partner. 

Sexual overstimulation is a symptom of compulsive sexual behavior. This doesn’t have its own category in the DSM-5 (​​Diagnostic and statistical manual). Yet, medical health professionals regard it as a subcategory within other mental disorders. These include impulse control disorder or a behavioral addiction. They may also have an obsessive compulsive disorder or bipolar disorder.

Anxiety, or other mental health conditions, can also cause or worsen sexual overstimulation.

Without rest and moisturization, the pain and irritation can be considerable.

For many men, sexual overstimulation of the mind is also an issue in their sex life.  Overuse of porn is a risk factor that can create overstimulation and desensitization. This can make it hard to get yourself hard!

Over time this overstimulation becomes a reason for erectile dysfunction or reduced libido.

Can you stop compulsive sexual behavior?

In a nutshell, with the right guidance, you can overcome compulsive sexual behaviors.

Understand that what you’re experiencing are addictive behaviors. And, you can create a life free from behavioral addictions with the right tools.

With immediate treatment, you can retune your brain’s neural circuits. In less time than you might think, you can put an end to compulsive sexual activity and find freedom in your life. 

Our 7-step plan is a handbook for reaching liberation from compulsive sexual behavior.

Understanding and managing compulsive sexual behaviors

Hypersexuality, sexual addiction, and sexual overstimulation are all considered compulsive sexual behavior.

Here are some common symptoms of this sexual impulse control disorder:

  • Partaking in sexual urges or behaviors that feel outside of your control.
  • Excessive preoccupation with sexual fantasies
  • Negatively impacts your health, relationship, job, or other aspects of your life.
  • It causes distress and negative consequences to you or those around you.
  • At the extreme end exist paraphilic disorders. This includes intense sexual urges or behaviors that are distressing or disabling. It can include objects, children, or nonconsenting adults, inflicting harm for sexual pleasure.

Those with compulsive sexual behavior may not realize they actually have this issue. That’s because of the hypersexual world we live in. 

There is nothing wrong with having an abundant sexual life. Whether you have multiple sexual partners or masturbate. You can explore in-depth with a partner all poses in the Kama Sutra. Sex is not evil or taboo.

If you’re insatiable for the next sexual fix— it’s time to take back control over your sex life. Because at the moment, it’s controlling you. Because at the moment, it’s controlling you.

This will transform all aspects of your life and your relationships in the future.


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

What are the best ways to control your urge for sexual overstimulation?

Here are my 7 best ways to control the urge for sexual overstimulation:

  1. Join a structured program
  2. Get active— consistently
  3. Educate yourself
  4. Meditation
  5. Stick to a strategy
  6. Support group
  7. Move beyond talk therapy: the holistic approach

1. Join a structured program

tantric man course

The first step in this guide is to:

  • Take ownership of your life, and 
  • Master your sexuality. 

And you don’t have to do it alone. The Tantric Man Experience gives the accountability and structure to overcome sexual overstimulation. 

In this course, you will master your sexuality and realign your sexual behavior. This will help you take charge of your sexual desire.

I’ll give you proven techniques to reprogram your mind. You will finally feel in control of sexual pleasure and arousal.

To say goodbye to sexual overstimulation, you’re going to need to challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zone. It’s the only way to reclaim control over your compulsive sexual behaviors. The Tantric Man Experience supports you as you overcome your demons.  

After this course, you’ll look back at how hollow your previous sexual desire was in comparison to what’s to come. 

So, let’s turn it around by joining the Tantric Man Experience. Create the love life of your dreams in only nine weeks.

2. Get active— consistently

black man kettle bell exercise

Effective treatment for sexual overstimulation or hypersexuality includes a practical exercise plan. 

It doesn’t have to be complex, but it has to be a commitment you can keep.

I recommend Tantra yoga at least three times a week for the fast road to recovery. Tantra yoga is unlike other forms of exercise. During this practice, you are working on releasing blocks in the body. 

The fluid movement of prana, life force energy, will balance sexual urges. Also, you’ll be training your mind to release fixations around sex. Feel liberated from sexual desires and start winning in all areas of your life.

As a whole, exercise relieves many underlying problems that cause sexual overstimulation. These include stress, anxiety, and depression. 

Here’s a suggested regime for sexual overstimulation:

  • Monday: Tantra yoga
  • Tuesday: anaerobic activity (weightlifting, HIIT training, or circuit training)
  • Wednesday: Tantra yoga
  • Thursday: aerobic activity (jogging, cycling, or swimming)
  • Friday: Tantra yoga
  • Saturday: anaerobic activity (weightlifting, HIIT training, or circuit training)
  • Sunday: rest (meditation will help create mental and energetic shifts in the body and mind. See step 4).

Again, it’s essential to add in exercise that you enjoy.

Keep the commitment to yourself— I promise it’s worth it. As a bonus, your sexual stamina and sex hormones will also increase after a few weeks. So the fulfilling sex awaiting you is worth the effort now!

3. Educate yourself

Next, it’s time to become a realist. You’re not the only man to wonder if sexual overstimulation or sexual compulsive disorder might apply to them. 

Many men will duck their heads firmly in the sand and come up with feeble reasons why their problems aren’t a real issue. 

More mature men will see a problem and fix it. That’s what masculine energy does. The masculine energy is logical and assertive when in balance and strives to:

  1. Spot a problem
  2. Dive into the resources available to him
  3. Find a solution
  4. Take action to resolve the problem

If you don’t apply this to sexual problems, you’re perpetuating the addictive cycle. You’ve likely already reached step one as you’re reading this article. Educating yourself will give you the knowledge to carry out the rest of these steps and seek treatment. 

4. Meditation

If you see the title of this step and want to scroll right on past— please don’t!

Meditation is not easy. But it’s how to change thought patterns and sexual behavior and become the master of your mind.

If you’re looking to calm an overstimulated mind— one constantly searching to be distracted or satisfied— there is no quick fix.

  • Stabilize the stress response in the body. You are training your mind to be more resilient and focused. This reduces the desire to seek out addictive sexual behaviors.
  • Improved emotional health. Learn how emotions play out in your body through meditation. Only through this experience, can you honor your feelings and understand their impermanence.
  • Get a natural boost. The prefrontal cortex in the brain is also known as “the happiness center.”
    Sex and meditation can stimulate this area. So, if you’re looking for a feel-good hit, meditation can be helpful when you’re about to fall into old patterns.
  • Learn to live consciously. Here’s the kicker— when you close your eyes to the world during meditation, you’re opening them to your inner world.
    In the stillness, you’ll see the patterns that are continuously tripping you up. Then you can begin taking action to gain back control over your sexual urges.

And as for the success rate of meditation, researchers at the University of Washington reviewed 286 people in a substance abuse study. They placed people into one of three groups:

  1. Mindfulness meditation: only 9% reported drug use after a year.
  2. 12-step program: 14% reported drug use after a year.
  3. Traditional relapse-prevention program: 17% reported drug use after a year.

Mindfulness meditation was the most effective in preventing relapses over the long term.

5. Stick to a strategy

domino pieces stopped by hand

You need to build an honest strategy. What do I mean by that?

It’s one that gives you little opportunity to relapse. If it’s in any way wishy-washy, it just won’t work. 

What do you really need when the urge to slip into old sexual patterns?

Accountability is huge for most men in this situation. We’ll explore this in the next step.

Having a routine in your life, especially at the beginning also gives you less time in the day for potential slip-ups. 

This step is about incorporating all the previous ones. You’ll need to slot them into your daily life. So get that calendar out. And start filling it with tantric yoga, weekly coaching sessions, meditation, workouts and recovery education.

With a strategy, sexual behavior addictions will become the uninvited guest that never leaves your life. 

If you don’t have a plan, you will cave when the craving for destructive sexual behavior returns. And it will come back. But with a plan, accountability, and support, you will become stronger and stronger. Each time your sexual addiction tests you, you will defeat the urges.


Unleash the secrets of your inner fire of willpower, harness your sacred sexual energy, and embody healthy masculine energy.

6. Support groups

men's group in koh phangan thailand

Men’s groups are not new. These assemblies have existed across the eons and are impressive instruments for change. Men move beyond their restrictions with the support of like-minded men. 

“Self-help and support groups can be helpful for people with compulsive sexual behavior and for dealing with some of the issues it can cause.” – Mayo Clinic.

If your initial reaction to a men’s group is reluctance, you’re not alone. Mistakenly, too many men believe they must grow and evolve entirely in isolation. They need to “go it alone”— like the lone cowboy in the Westerns. 

It just doesn’t happen that way. Instead, men’s groups call on each man to take action in their life to achieve their dreams. 

Many men who come in wanting to move past compulsive sexual behavior achieve far more than that. 

Their dreams elevate. 

They’re getting promotions at work and setting up businesses. 

These men are finding and keeping incredible women.

So, if a men’s group still sounds frivolous, scoff all you want. These men dominate their lives with confidence and vitality. I’ve supported thousands of men to find real meaning and growth through the years. 

7. Move beyond talk therapy: take the holistic approach

Some therapies that can be helpful when working on sexual impulse control include:

  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), 
  • Acceptance and commitment therapy, as well as; 
  • Psychodynamic psychotherapy 

And sitting across from a mental health professional can help compulsive sexual behavior.

But, for most men, there needs to be more than just talking. 

Talking can get you to the root of the problem. But without action and conscious effort to transcend old patterns, nothing changes. 

I created the Five-Level Transformation (FLT) as a way to shortcut years of therapy and achieve results in only nine weeks. 

Here’s a sneak peek at the Five-Level Transformation (FLT) that I will reveal to you:

  1. Mental level— obliterate old compulsive patterns and addictive behaviors in your subconscious mind.
  2. Sexual level— heal your sexual compulsions and addictions, master your sexual impulse control, and learn how to control your sexual urges.
  3. Energetic level— cultivate your inner life-force energy. It’s the natural antidepressant pill. Many men experience that they can get off medications using these practices.
  4. Emotional level— heal any emotional blockages and armors that might have been developed around your compulsive sexual behavior.
  5. Spiritual level— integrate the lost connection between head, heart, and balls. Finally, balance the masculine and feminine polarity within yourself.

Need the map that reveals the treasure of limitless freedom? Then you need to tap into this free training.


So we’ve taken you through the steps to find freedom from compulsive sexual behavior. Step seven will make a real difference in long-term recovery for most men. 

In this article, we’ve broken down how to break up with sexual stimulation for good. but, if you want more info about the FLT method or fast-tracking your recovery.


How does overstimulation affect erectile dysfunction?

You might chalk it down to having too many beers on the weekend. But, if it’s happened more than a couple of times, consider if overstimulation is causing your ED.

If you are experiencing overstimulation, you’ll find it uncomfortable or even painful to get hard or reach climax.

The quickest, most effective way to overcome sexual overstimulation is to undergo a safe NoFap challenge. Here is a free training on my site that has helped thousands of men. So here’s your starting point if you want to practice semen retention in a healthy and sustainable way.

What does it mean when a girl is overstimulated?

When a woman is overstimulated, it often refers to sexual behavior that is too aggressive or frequent.

The clitoris, vulva, or other sexual regions in the body can be affected. Such stimulation can cause vaginal and urinary tract infections. Other symptoms include bruising, vaginal dryness, sexual dysfunction, and even pain during penetration.

In more severe cases, abrasions may occur along the vulva, known as dyspareunia. The pain can affect the individual before, during, and even after intercourse.

What does sexual impulsivity mean?

Sexual impulsivity blinds a man to the potential negative consequences of sexual activity. In essence, they are blinkered by lust.

Some sexually impulsive people engage in sexual behavior that society deems acceptable. But, others give in to sexual fantasies that violate laws and overstep boundaries. They reveal a man completely immersed in the shadow side of his masculine energy.

What causes sexual impulses?

Lack of sexual impulsive control often comes down to an imbalance of natural brain chemicals. These chemicals are neurotransmitters, including serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. All these have an essential role in regulating mood.

High levels of these neurotransmitters may be linked to compulsive sexual behaviors. It’s not all bad news, though, because neuroplasticity allows us to balance our neurotransmitters. A healthy lifestyle alongside meditation is a powerful step in the right direction.

Can hypersexuality go away?

Yes, hypersexuality can be cured with treatment— but not by itself. Men needs a supportive community and determination to overcome the compulsive sexual behaviors. Sex experts, psychological treatment, and medication can also help those with hypersexual disorder.

If you suffer from hypersexuality, it’s best to seek help as early as possible. Once you’ve mastered sexual energy, mind-blowing pleasure and intimacy await.

What causes compulsive sexual behaviors?

It’s common for those who have suffered from sexual abuse to become sex addicts. 

What are the signs of compulsive sexual behavior?

Untreated compulsive sexual behavior can:

Cause low self esteem
Impact physical health
Force relationships to the brink
Hinder career trajectory
Even escalate into substance abuse problems.

What is sexual addiction?

Sex addiction is a compulsion to perform sexual acts. They crave to achieve the kind of “fix” those with substance use disorders get when using. Or the kick gambling disorder sufferers get when betting. Many mental health professionals will outline the common symptoms, including:

Obsessive, unrelenting sexual thoughts and fantasies
Lying to cover the unhealthy sexual behavior
Sexual fantasies interfere with life, work, and relationships
Lack of impulse control to put a stop to the behaviors
Putting oneself or others in danger due to sexual behavior
Feelings of guilt or regret after a sexual experience


Unleash the secrets of your inner fire of willpower, harness your sacred sexual energy, and embody healthy masculine energy.

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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

I am the founder of The Tantric Man Experience™, a pioneering transformational coaching program for men. With over 1500 hours of certified tantra training in India and Thailand and 7 years of experience helping hundreds of men worldwide save their marriages and reignite passion in their love lives.

I have over 8 million views on YouTube and have been featured on VICE and Newstalk Radio for my life’s work - helping men unleash their full masculine potential.

My holistic FLT method seamlessly integrates ancient tantric philosophy with my modern expertise in relationships, sexuality, dating, and men’s health.

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