Best 7 Hot Sexual Surprise Ideas For A Better Sex Life

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Aug 11, 2023
sexual surprise

If you want to revamp your sex life, you need to work an element of sexual surprise into your lovemaking. Boring sex can lead to infidelity and even divorce. Yet this is a trap that any long-term relationship can fall into easily, and quickly, too.

But it doesn’t have to be like this. In today’s article, I’m going to give you 7 hot ideas for things to try during sex. They will help you to revive that sexual surprise element once more.

It’s more than just the reverse cowgirl or doggy style. We are going deep. 😉

What are the best sexual surprise ideas?

7 hot sexual surprise

I’m keeping it punchy today, and we’re diving right in. Here are the top 7 best sexual surprise ideas:

1.  Talk dirty

“Talk dirty to me baby”… Said everyone ever, at some point in their life.

Both men and women LOVE dirty talk. So whether you’re a guy or a girl, you can invoke a little surprise for your partner by mastering the art of dirty talking.

Don’t be shy when it comes to dirty talk

It is natural to feel a little hesitant or shy when it comes to talking dirty. Most human beings carry around a tonne of sexual shame. And the last thing we want is for our partner (be they man or woman) to laugh.

But for most people, dirty talking is a pleasant surprise. Especially when it is unexpected. Hence dirty talking can be used in or out of the bedroom.

If you are new to this, I suggest starting with it outside of the bedroom… You will have more mental space to plan and think over what you are going to say. And eventually, once you train that muscle, it will become more spontaneous and natural.

Daytime dirty talking ideas

… In the middle of the day, try whispering the following things into the ear of your partner. Once you get past the initial fear, it’s fun:

  • “Baby, you look so sexy in that trench coat. I wanna see you naked wearing it”
  • “I can’t wait to feel your warm, wet pussy against my tongue later when we get home”
  • “Seeing you _____ like that, makes me want to feel you hard and deep inside of me”
  • “I’m having a vision of my giving your oral sex right now until you come, and then spinning you around and fucking you into next week”.

All of the above are guaranteed to excite and delight your partner. Not only this, but it will help them to feel sexy.

Reviving a dampened sex drive

If they have become less interested in sex, this is guaranteed to place it at the forefront of their brain again.

sexual surprise

Once you get home and are in your own space, you will be tearing each others’ clothes off, and making passionate love all night.

How to talk dirty in the bedroom

Once you have talked dirty outside of the bedroom and become more comfortable with it, you can graduate to the next class. This entails dirty talk whilst you are making love.

  • “I love the way your body moves with mine. It makes me want to fuck you all night long”
  • “You look so hot like that. I’m getting harder/wetter every second just watching you”
  • “Please baby, I like it when you ____ like that”

Talking dirty is a great way to give your partner a sexy surprise. And it is guaranteed to help you have more great sex.

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2.  Get comfortable with morning sex

This one is aimed at the ladies. Of all the things to try during sex, having it in the morning is one of the more important.

sexual surprise

I know you just woke up and you are self-conscious about the way you look, smell, or taste.

Forget about bad breath

But this is a block that you need to get past. Your man enjoys morning sex. Guaranteed. And for you too it can be a wonderful sexy surprise.

Your love life will improve if you can be open to surprise sex in the morning. Women often turn a man down for sex first thing in the morning.

But this is when his appetite is at its HIGHEST. And he is all the more likely to ravage you in the way that only he could.

Stop turning down sex

A man can take being turned down for sex. This is a truth that we men have all lived with.

But when he is turned down again and again and again and again, resentment can creep in. And resentment is something we don’t want in romantic relationships!

Find some alternatives

If you don’t feel like having full sex in the morning, you could have oral sex or shower sex. Any of these will be a fun surprise and are bound to give most men a boost inside of their relationship.

Just trust me on this. If you want to keep a man happy and your relationship strong, you need to get comfortable with sex in the AM. When was the last time you said yes to this?

3.  Play dress up

Another great way of introducing surprise into your love life is by dressing up a bit. Most men drool over a woman in a short skirt, high heels, and a trench coat. There is a reason why we see this image repeatedly on movie screens.

sexual surprise

So you can create amazing surprises for your man via these things. He’ll have to stuff his tongue back into his mouth when he arrives home from work to see you dressed up. And you are sure to have some passionate sex after he has ripped your clothes off.

Release the inhibitions!

Even if you have inhibitions or feel shy. It’s worth giving it a try. And you can even move on to some role play once you are in costume… He will be even more excited and surprised, and probably want to try out some new sex moves with you.

4.  Change up the positions

After a while in a long-term relationship, we tend to fall into a routine regarding the bedroom.

Although you each may have your favorite sex positions or sex moves, you must not fall into the trap of monotony. There is nothing more sexually unappealing than boring and monotonous, repetitive sex.

Mind the cracks!

When a couple’s sex life becomes boring, cracks in the relationship start to appear. And it can no longer stand the inevitable ebbs and flows of partnership.

So, you must keep things dynamic. And a great way to do this is to experiment with different positions.

Many women enjoy the cowgirl position. And men certainly enjoy it too. If you have never done this one before, it will be a huge surprise to your boyfriend. And he’ll likely get a lot of pleasure from it.

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It’s NOT all about anal

If you don’t want to do anal, it’s ok. Many people decide that they need to bring and skip straight to anal. But there are many things you can do in bed that will surprise your man and don’t involve this.

Each one of these can become a new fantasy for guys. There’s not much you can do wrong here.

We are very visual creatures. Anything that looks good is likely to be immensely sexy. And an amazing sexy surprise.

5.  Use toys

sexual surprise

A sexy surprise isn’t just about keeping a man happy. It’s also about keeping the woman happy.

And often, this involves the use of toys.

You have probably heard your female friends raving about their deep love for their vibrator (I suggest this one). And this is for a reason! Many women find it difficult or impossible from penetrative sex alone.

Your pleasure is his pleasure

Involving the use of a toy can not only give your man a nice surprise, but it can also help you reach orgasm during penetration.

This will be surprising and mean the world to your man. Men love seeing your body contract in this way while he is inside of you is every man’s greatest wish. He’ll enjoy it.

After all, your pleasure is his pleasure.

6.  Bring the food into the bedroom

Foods are a common feature in tantric rituals. Through the closing of the eyes, the sense of taste and touch inside of the mouth becomes even sharper.

sexual surprise

Feeding your partner in bed can therefore become deeply sexual and full of surprises.

Awaken the senses with a sumptuous tasting plate

One idea to involve food would be to prepare a plate full of different textures and flavors. You could use chopped mango, steamed rice, chocolate, and cucumber.

The different textures and tastes will be surprising. And this acts as a wonderful, erotic ritual before the main act of sex. Whatsmore, their sense of taste will be fully warmed up and ready for oral sex ;).

7.  Kiss every day

This one is a bit different from the ideas above. It does not directly involve sex.

You need to kiss more. Start doing it now. This is the first step, even before trying out new sex moves.

According to this survey, 1 in 5 married couples (20%) go an entire week without kissing.

Is it any wonder the divorce rate is so high?!

Kissing is what distinguishes romantic partners from friends or roommates. A lack of physical intimacy can break relationships and land once passionate lovers in the divorce courts.

Little and often

If kissing is something that you and your partner have let slip? Give little kisses as surprises repeatedly throughout the day.

This will demonstrate love and affection towards your partner. They will feel respected and adored.

Especially if your partner is a man. He’ll feel from you the kind of adoration he doesn’t receive anywhere else in life.

And then surprise them with some fun new sex moves in the bedroom.

Conclusion and a sexy surprise video

So there we have it, ladies and gents. 7 hot ideas you can use for better sex life.

And for those of you who have skipped straight to the end of the article, I’ll give you a quick-fire list here:

  1. Dirty talking
  2. Morning sex
  3. Dressing up
  4. Try out different positions
  5. Use toys
  6. Involve foods
  7. Kiss every day

The above are accessible techniques you can use to create a sexual surprise for your partner. They are neither vanilla nor super extreme. Most men or women will be comfortable with any or all of them.

I really suggest giving them a go!

Take things to the next level with tantra

If you have exhausted this list and still aren’t feeling the flame of your love life burn as brightly as it once did, don’t panic.

Tantra is a beautiful tool that can help you both in and out of the sheets.

Through working with energy, breath, and polarity you can shift to the highest, most transcendental states during your lovemaking sessions. You can experience sacred sexuality and even the coveted art of sexual transmutation.

The steps in this article will help you to introduce an element of surprise to your lovemaking. But tantra will take it to a whole new dimension. Guaranteed.

Intrigued? Take my free training here to find out more. Watch it if you want to reignite the passion, surprise and connection in a lackluster relationship.


How do you excite something in the bedroom?

You can try talking dirty and experimenting with some different sex positions or fun sex moves. Surprise sex is also a good idea.

What are things I should try during sex?

During sex, try to break out of your usual routine. Be fun and playful. Biting your partner’s lip or gently slapping their face generally leads to great sex.

What should I try with my partner?

If you want to have really good sex, you need to engage your creative brain. Trying writing a note telling your partner how much you can’t wait to be naked in bed with them.

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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

I am the founder of The Tantric Man Experience™, a pioneering transformational coaching program for men. With over 1500 hours of certified tantra training in India and Thailand and 7 years of experience helping hundreds of men worldwide save their marriages and reignite passion in their love lives.

I have over 8 million views on YouTube and have been featured on VICE and Newstalk Radio for my life’s work - helping men unleash their full masculine potential.

My holistic FLT method seamlessly integrates ancient tantric philosophy with my modern expertise in relationships, sexuality, dating, and men’s health.

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