21 Dirty Things To Say To Your Girlfriend & How To Talk Dirty

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Aug 11, 2023
Dirty Things To Say To Your Girlfriend

Thinking of dirty things to say to your girlfriend is not as easy as it might seem. 

It’s been taboo for so long that it’s a lot like a dying craft. But it is going through a much-needed resurgence.  

We’ll explore in this article how and why specific dirty talk techniques and phrases work better than others. Talking dirty can either fire up her pleasure centers or completely kill the mood. 

When you nail it, she will hear an authentic, centered man. Even better, she will view you as a confident, intuitive, and sexy boyfriend who isn’t afraid to explore and assert himself.

Women learn a lot about men during sex, so dirty-talking can solidify your relationship if you’re interested in having her as a long-term partner. Meanwhile, you can also intensify passion and intimacy with these relationship check-in questions.

How to make sex sexier?

man and woman hugging each other

Are you looking to ignite a serious spark into sex with your girlfriend?

Dirty talk is an epic tool to turn sex into an inferno of pleasure. Erotic words are essential for a woman’s pleasure. Arousal for her stems from feelings. 

What’s fantastic is that your words have the power to make her want to wrap her legs around you before breakfast and ride you against a wall.

It has the potential to change everything in your sex life. 

Giving your woman a chance to let out her feisty, kinky, or even submissive side is an incredibly liberating experience for her. 

And, of course, it means that sex becomes more passionate and erotic than ever for you.

One of the crucial elements when coming up with dirty things to say to your girlfriend is always having your emotions invested. Even when roleplaying, focus on what’s turning you on in the fantasy and let her know. 

If you are used to speaking to your partner in a romantic rather than kinky way, it can feel awkward at first to come up with freaky stuff to say. So, we’ve compiled a list of dirty talk that will have your woman soaking wet for you.

How to turn your girlfriend on with dirty talk?

Erotic language tends to be short and clipped.

It lets you explore obscenities that you’re not supposed to use in everyday life and focuses on the heat of the moment.

Just like in sex, allow the intensity of the dirty talk to build. Using softer words, like 

“I love the feeling of your skin against mine.”

You can build up to the freakiest things to say like:

“Fuck! I’m going to spill inside your throbbing pussy.”

What this means is that the hot and heavy words have more impact. The really freaky shit to say will wind your woman up even more if there’s a progression first to ease her in. So, avoid using repetitive sentences over and over again unless she demands it of you, as it will lessen their impact. 

How can you gauge what your girlfriend likes and doesn’t like?

couples making love on their bed with cooffee mugs

If you’re trying to figure out what women want, it’s as simple as this: learn by asking

What one woman will find endlessly arousing, another woman will detest. One example is some women love being called a “whore”, “naughty girl,” or “slut” during sex. Others will find it degrading, even when roleplaying.

Find out what she NEVER wants to leave your mouth, what she’s curious about, and her deepest sexual fantasies.

Here are a few questions to ask her before getting kinky:

  • What sexual foreplay do you enjoy?
  • What settings turn you on?
  • What dirty words do you like?
  • What dirty words don’t you like?
  • What taboos do you find sexy? For example, doctor-patient or teacher-student scenarios
  • What people do you want us to include in our sexual fantasies?

Trust me, women have dirty thoughts. They will have the answers to these questions, and they’re only waiting to let their wild, ravenous side out. You can also learn how to read women’s subconscious communication.

How do you find your unique voice?

couples kissing over dinner table

Many men don’t have much experience with dirty talk, but they’re used to hearing it in movies, tv, books, and porn. 

You need to transform your borrowed erotic ideas into your flavor. Connect with your own masculine energy— forget about looking silly. Begin to unfilter your dirty talk and practice by saying these phrases before trying them out on your girlfriend. 

What a man wants

A man wants to feel that he can satisfy his partner. Seeing and hearing his woman having pleasure makes him feel successful and confident and makes for a hot night of connection. 

They want their lover to be insatiable for what they can give her. Essentially, reacting to their touch, actions, and their dirtiest talking ever turn men on.

Bottom line, shower him with your feminine energy and tell him what he does great and he will flourish. 


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

What a woman wants

Women on the other hand tend to desire to receive, surrender, and let go of mundane obligations. She wants to be told when she can give pleasure and when she is to receive. Also, women want to feel coveted, that she’s driving you wild with their body, heart, and soul. In reality, this study shows that many men take on the submissive role during sexual activities to the detriment of sexual satisfaction.

Bottom line, take the lead in the bedroom, express your pleasure, and make her trust your masculine confidence. This holds space for all her emotions while you’re instructing her.

How NOT to talk dirty (disclaimer)

Timing can be the thing that makes or break dirty talking. Talking dirty is like an art and must be applied at the right moment. 

To illustrate the point, If you call a woman “cunt” at a friend’s dinner table that would be seen as misogynistic and offensive, but if you do it in the bedroom to a highly aroused girlfriend, then that can be extremely hot. So learn to be tactful and develop your dirty talk skills.

Please remember this formula: the more pleasure and arousal = the dirtier you can talk.

When a person is close to climax, freaky words can be the thing that tips her over into one of the best orgasms ever.

Why consent matters

Secondly, consent is a must. Permission is required, without exception, in any sexual relationship.

Dirty talk needs trust and consent to be pleasurable for you and your partner. Generally, it’s better to wait until adding this level of heat and spice into the bedroom. The beginning stages of a relationship might be too early to say and do some of these things. Take time to learn about your partner’s preferences and allow trust to develop in her own time. It’ll be more than worth the wait.

What are the best dirty things to say to your girlfriend?

Here are my top 21 dirty things to say to your girlfriend:

1. When you come home I will put you in paradise.

Remind your girlfriend that she’s the sexiest woman you can’t stop thinking of. That you lose control waiting for the fun to start. Ring and demand this of her in a sexual facetime to show your girl your desire to create sexy sex.

2. If уоu соuld rеаd mу mіnd right now, you’d be blushing all over.

Breathing fantasy into the daytime creates sexual tension and will have her eager to see you carry out all the dirty things you’ve been planning. 

3. I’m going to make you forget your own name tonight. What I have planned will have you moan for hours, but only if you do exactly as I say.

Build anticipation with this question. Starting out the day with these words builds the foreplay as she’ll spend the day anticipating the pleasure tonight.

4. I can’t believe I want someone this badly. Get in the car. I’ll follow you in after I’ve finished my first dessert. You’ll be my seconds.

If you’re feeling wild, this is such a dirty thing to say to your girlfriend at a restaurant. Whisper this during dinner and enjoy the passionate car sex to follow. 

5. Take off all your clothes. One by one. You’re going to have to striptease before I let you sit on my dick.

Sit back and enjoy as she lets her naughty side out to play.

woman in black stockings teasing her man

6. You’re making me so horny. I’m going to turn you around and fuck you now.

This is a sexy way of changing position if you feel you’re too close to cuming. 

7. I pull my hard cock out and start rubbing it over your hot and quivering pussy. I trace it down your pussy lips and then rub my head all over your clit. I grab your hair, making you watch as I finally shove my cock in and thrust deep into you without mercy.

If rough and ready is what turns her on— then this is going to drive your girlfriend wild.


Unleash the secrets of your inner fire of willpower, harness your sacred sexual energy, and embody healthy masculine energy.

8. You were made for my pleasure. Open your legs and let me see and taste what’s mine.

Also feel free to add: “I can’t stop thinking about burying myself deep inside of you tonight. I’m going to thurst into you right on the bedroom floor.”

9. Don’t you dare look away from me. I want to see you explode as you cum on my cock. 

Maintaining eye contact during sex builds a deep connection. In tantra, eye contact enhances both spiritual and sexual enlightenment. We analyze, read and feel other people through the eyes, so gazing into one another creates a heated and intense connection during sex.

10. You like it rough. I know you do. Lay back and take every last inch of my cock. Your pussy is mine.

couples making out in the shower

Ownership is something that turns many women on to no end. You want her to feel that you are driven to possession by her hot naked body during dirty talk. Women love watching that obsession come out during sex.

11. I want you to look at me while you deep throat my cock. I want to hear you gag as I pump into your hot lips.

Telling her exactly what you want is not what most men will say to a girl. However, choosing to be a confident man in bed will make you very hard to forget.

12. Remember that time we vacationed in ________? We joked about having sex right there on the beach in public. Next time, I’m going to ride you in the waves.

Bringing up memories you’ve shared and adding spice is just perfect for getting your girl in the mood. Essentially, you’re combining fond memories, her sense of adventure, and lusty fantasies in her mind.

13. That ass of yours is driving me crazy. Bend over the kitchen table and take every single inch of me like a good girl.

Keep the spice in the relationship by taking lovemaking outside of the bedroom. Be creative and horny, and have fun!

couple sensually kneading flour

14. Fuck. You’re so sexy. Touch yourself and look at me. Let me see your soaked pussy. Don’t move your gaze an inch. I need your eyes on me.

From here, you can add a few descriptions: “that’s what you like, isn’t it… Touching your breasts.. Pinching your nipples… circling your clit”.

Be sure to take all of her in, allow your own arousal to build, and hers will feed off of that intense masculine gaze.

15. Take my cock inside of you. Now. Feel how hard it is. Feel each rib against your walls. That’s it. Moan for me, just like that. 

In this situation, you are very much in control. Your girlfriend will be eager to obey as you heat things up with your demanding, masculine energy.

16. I love the way you feel. I am gonna keep fucking you until I cum deep inside your pussy. Let’s make babies tonight. 

A lot of women get turned on by the fantasy of getting pregnant— so let her enjoy this fantasy.

17. I eat you out as you sit in your office chair— skirt pushed up around your waist. You try to keep quiet in case someone hears but can’t help panting as I tongue-fuck your delicious pussy.

Take her into the depths of her imagination and just hear how her breath hitches.

18. I push your body down on the desk and fuck you sideways, resting your leg on my shoulder while I enter you…

Avoid saying anything too technical when you’re describing a sex position. In the heat of the moment, you don’t want to be getting tongue-tied about all the sexy things you want to do together. Instead, focus on her body and how you’re dominating her pleasure.

19. Tonight, I’m going to yank your hair back while I fuck your tight, wet cunt from behind.

If she’s into rough sex, these freaky things to say to your girlfriend will have her dripping for you.

20. I’m going to cum in your mouth, and you’re going to swallow every last drop.

Afterward, gently clean her up and seal your bond with a romantic kiss. Show her you can be both— dominant and caring.

girl sucking cream in strawberry

21. You’re on the verge of cuming. I’m going to make you scream. 

Sometimes the dirty thing to say to your girlfriend is to tell her exactly what’s happening. 

Go beyond dirty talk: how to make your girlfriend wild for you 

As great as dirty talk can be in a relationship, there’s far more to explore if you want to reach new levels of pleasure and intimacy with your girlfriend.

If you’re ready to receive the knowledge to take control of your power as a man in your relationship— this free masterclass training is for you.

I’m Steffo Shambo, an expert relationship coach for men. Through these wisdom teachings, you’ll receive practical, refined, and truly life-changing steps to create new levels of intimacy and passion you didn’t think were even possible before.


How do I start off with dirty talk?

Start by slowing down and speaking sensually. For beginners, the best way to approach dirty talk is to tell her what you’re experiencing in the moment. Notice what’s turning you on about her and tell her. Learn to be tactful and read her subtle body language.

What are dirty text messages I can send?

With naughty text messages, create hot anticipation for when you’ll see each other next. An example would be, “if you could read my mind, you’d be blushing all over.”u003cbru003eu003cbru003eYou can make sexy text messages even better with a sexual facetime. 

What are flirty questions to ask my girlfriend?

Flirty questions are more gentle than dirty questions and are more suggestive. A great example is, “You drive me a little crazy, you know that?”

What are some dirty things to whisper?

This article is full of freaky things to say to your girlfriend and whisper in her ear. From getting her in the mood to foreplay to the act itself— we’ve created a resource that you can refer back to time and again to impress your girlfriend with your sexy talk.


Unleash the secrets of your inner fire of willpower, harness your sacred sexual energy, and embody healthy masculine energy.

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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

Steffo Shambo is the founder of The Tantric Man Experience. The #1 masculine mentorship program in the world, where he’s helping men master confidence, sexuality, & purpose to reignite the passion in their relationship or attract a meaningful relationship. He’s on a mission to spread a conscious sexual revolution for men worldwide so that they can show up as integrated partners, fathers, and leaders.

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