How To Stop Fapping In 7 Steps: Benefits Of Not Masturbating

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Aug 11, 2023

Let’s get one thing straight before we get into this article — there is nothing inherently wrong with fapping. 

However, if you, like many guys out there, are controlled by your sexual energy, and want to experience the mind-blowing benefits of not masturbating, then you’ve cum to the right place— no apologies for the pun!

Here you will learn everything you need to know to go from a simple fapper to becoming a sex god. Let’s get started!

What is fapping?

Fapping is nothing fancier than another word for masturbating. It is most commonly used to refer to jerking off while watching porn. Apparently, the term mimics the sound of balls hitting a man’s ass while masturbating: fap, fap, fap, fap.

What are the health benefits of not masturbating? 

Here are the top health benefits of rebalancing masturbation when done the tantric way:

Physical and mental benefits of not masturbating

man doing battle rope in a gym

According to Adrienne Santos-Longhurst, some potential physical and mental benefits of not masturbating include:

  • Higher energy levels.
  • Muscle growth.
  • Better sleep.
  • Better physical performance and stamina.
  • Increase testosterone levels and serum testosterone level
  • Improved focus and concentration.
  • Significantly affects mood, happiness, and motivation due to increased testosterone levels.

Sexual health benefits of not masturbating

Steffo before and after fapping comparison

The sexual health benefits of reducing ejaculatory masturbation include:

  • Sexual mastery
  • Improved or cured erectile dysfunction
  • Improved sperm quality
  • Separate orgasm from ejaculation
  • Unleashing masculine potential and love life
  • Helps with pornography addiction or sex addiction


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

Nofap and prostate cancer

It’s time to end to the false information spread by the media myth that men should ejaculate daily to prevent prostate cancer. The Tantrikas and Taoists hold thousands of years of practical experience around ejaculation control

These ancient sciences found that non-ejaculatory intercourse, also known as semen retention,  improves health. As long as masturbating is done the tantric way with sublimation and alongside a healthy lifestyle, it’s actually good for the prostate.

man in lotus pose meditating

Why NoFap? The answer is not to stop masturbating

However, I believe that by focusing on a simple solution to a complex problem, NoFap misses a bigger point. I always advise guys to try and understand the reasons behind sex addiction  — not just to go cold turkey. 

For instance, many guys I have helped use masturbation as a numbing tool. It is not about sexual pleasure. It is simply a way to detach themselves from the real world and real feelings. 

If your solution is strictly NoFap, it can be a sticking plaster that doesn’t address the underlying problem. The answer is not to avoid masturbation altogether. Instead, it is to seek to understand and address the issues making you seek ways to escape from the world.
Healthline media websites state that there is “no hard science to back the supposed benefits of abstaining from masturbation”. 

What happens if you hold your sperm for too long?

assorted colors of deflated ballons lined up

If done incorrectly, semen retention can have damaging side effects on your mental, physical, and sexual health. Going months or even years without ejaculation in the wrong way can lead to nofap side effects such as:

  • Tension in the hips
  • Backache
  • Pain in the balls and pelvic floor
  • Social anxiety
  • Swollen prostate
  • Wet dreams
  • Sexual dysfunction and health conditions such as premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction further down the line.

In mental health terms, too, no fap can lead to feelings of frustration and agitation. Remember, you are also cutting off access to an essential part of who you are as a man. Sexual energy is not about what you do in the bedroom. It is also something that can drive other areas of your life. But done correctly, semen retention is entirely healthy, despite the unfounded scare stories about things like prostate cancer.

What is the best way to stop fapping?

Here are my top picks for the best way to stop fapping:

Step 1: identify what’s affecting your sex life

black couple under the white comforter

The modern world holds a highly distorted lens on sex and sexuality. If you do not reframe sexuality for yourself, the world will bombard you with how you should approach sex. Toxic sexuality can be a real thing. But dealing with it by trying to banish sexual activity is not the answer. Other factors that impact your sex life include:

  • Religion
  • Ethical reasons
  • Porn Addiction
  • Relationship reasons
  • Sexual Health
  • Addressing sexual dysfunction conditions

Think about what an out-of-control masturbation habit costs you before implementing the next steps to create lasting change. 


Unleash the secrets of your inner fire of willpower, harness your sacred sexual energy, and embody healthy masculine energy.

Step 2: understand how sexual energy works 

Learn to embrace and truly understand the way your sexual energy works. Sexual activity is not a dangerous thing to be banished. On the contrary, it is something that can add light, color, and joy to your world. This is something that scientific evidence tells us time and again. When you reach orgasm, your brain releases a surge of dopamine. Dopamine receptors then receive this, affecting emotions and the human reward system. 

As humans, we are all hard-wired to find sex and orgasm pleasurable and stress relieving. No month-long internet challenge is ever going to change that. 

Check out the free training I put together on male sexual energy that helps guys get the relationship they want by understanding the spiritual and scientific basis for this. If it helps you understand how your own sexual energy affects you and other people, then it will be time well spent.

Step 3: tap into the spiritual benefits

man meditating on a wooden bridge by the lake

My experience helping men worldwide understand and harness their sexual power has taught me that there is a different way to do NoFap that starts from an entirely different place. And this time, it isn’t this year’s internet craze. 

Instead, it is something that men have practiced for thousands of years. It starts with a shift in spiritual, not physical, behavior (what I describe as ‘sacred spirituality’). This occurs when the mind and body are in harmony.

Step 4: distinguish orgasm from ejaculation

cropped man lying down on a bed focusing on his abs

One of the main pillars of tantric practice is to be able to separate these two things. I’ll put it as simply as I can. 

You can orgasm without ejaculation

With tested, ancient, proven practices, you can harness your sexual power and choose exactly when or if you ejaculate. With this, you and your partner to experience more intense sexual pleasure while retaining your semen if you decide to. Here’s what I call “spiritual NoFap.” It is about the mind and the body working in harmony. It is about men stepping up and taking control of their sexual energy, not denying it.  

If this is a new concept, that might sound difficult. It might even sound like torture. But, believe me — this is not about a denial of pleasure. When done correctly, you will get more pleasure than you imagined possible.

Step 5: practice tantric masturbation

chili pepper with sliced lemons

One of the starting points for this is tantric masturbation. The critical thing here is to focus not on ‘getting over the line’ with a single orgasm. 

Instead, it is more about truly exploring the different sensations in your body. You can develop a deeper, more enduring relationship with your sexual energy through self-pleasure by working out what sensations best work for you. Essentially, you’re learning to manage settings of your pleasure system by self-reporting and removing expectations. 

Think of tantra as a road trip or a quest. It isn’t the destination that matters. It is the journey. Once you change your thinking about the relationship between ejaculation and sexual pleasure, NoFap stops becoming a challenge. Now, it has become essential to who you are as a man and lover.

Step 6: find a community of men

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The sexual energy that men naturally have is something powerful and special. But the internet has reduced human sexuality to unrealistic choreographed moments that have nothing to do with sexual connection, self-discovery, and masculine power.

This has led to an explosion in pornography addiction and excessive masturbation. In response, I understand why some guys are saying, “enough is enough” and joined a NoFap community online. 

It is about taking back control and saying that you can be in charge again through willpower alone. Instead of joining a NoFap Reddit group full of misinformation, use the ancient wisdom and modern science approach with a real mentor and determined men wanting to transform their lives and have women orgasm in the bedroom. 

Step 7: take the semen retention challenge

don't limit your challenges sign

If you want to embark on a more sexually healthy way to do a NoFap challenge, join my semen retention challenge. We include and accept sexual intercourse and male masturbation. It’s just done without ejaculating.

The 30-day semen retention challenge is hosted in my Facebook group, The Tantric Brotherhood. We do it together as a community. This helps keep up the motivation and keep one other accountable. As a student from The Tantric Man Experience 9-week mentorship program recently wrote:

“30 days of semen retention. That’s the biggest accomplishment in my life. And that’s coming from a porn addict and compulsive masturbator. I’ve so much energy it’s overwhelming.”


As I said at the start, fapping is not a shameful act but needs to be done in a healthy way, and for the right reasons. 

The key to this is shifting the way that you think about sexual energy and finding ways to truly incorporate it into your life. Guys who do this are not just able to perform better in bed, they are also able to draw women to them or repair a relationship that feels to be drifting.

Maybe, you’re ready to unleash your full masculine power by tapping into your sexual energy’s potential without wasting it by fapping. But instead using the power to attract a partner or reignite the spark in a lackluster relationship, then watch my free training here.


How healthy is fapping?

Fapping is not unhealthy. It’s a natural act. However, frequent ejaculation while masturbating can affect performance in bed and negatively impact emotional and physical health. Finding a community, mentor, and tools to rebalance your masturbation is an invaluable service.

How do you control fapping?

Take it in stages to reduce ejaculation frequency when fapping. Research suggests that it’s very normal for the mind to take time to process and come around to the idea of masturbating less. 

How many times should a man release sperm in a week?

For practicing semen retention, I recommend every 21 days. Now science research has caught up with ancient knowledge and wellness professionals. Scientists have found that 7-21 days of not ejaculating will raise the testosterone level by 145.7%. See my video here for more info on these health benefits.   


Unleash the secrets of your inner fire of willpower, harness your sacred sexual energy, and embody healthy masculine energy.

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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

I am the founder of The Tantric Man Experience™, a pioneering transformational coaching program for men. With over 1500 hours of certified tantra training in India and Thailand and 7 years of experience helping hundreds of men worldwide save their marriages and reignite passion in their love lives.

I have over 8 million views on YouTube and have been featured on VICE and Newstalk Radio for my life’s work - helping men unleash their full masculine potential.

My holistic FLT method seamlessly integrates ancient tantric philosophy with my modern expertise in relationships, sexuality, dating, and men’s health.

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