How to Give the Perfect Lingam Massage (Ultimate Tantric Guide)

Steffo Shambo

Published on Jan 8, 2024
lingam massage

Blow whatever your man thinks he might know about pleasure with a lingam massage. 

A lingam massage can quite literally make your usual sex routine different by taking the pleasure levels up a notch. 

The blend between neo-tantra and modern sexology is perfect for foreplay and intimacy. It’s also key for a sensual sexual experience that’s deeply healing. 

Couples have much to gain from this sacred technique. 

If you want your partner to fully surrender and receive your divine energy, look no further. Use this penis massage to become a seductive master. 

Ready to flip the script in the bedroom and turn up the heat? 

Start by watching my video guide below!

What is a lingam massage?

Lingam is a Sanskrit word for “wand of light.” It’s a conscious penis massage, not from classical tantra, as many think, but neo-tantra.

Lingam massage was developed by Joseph Kramer, founder of Sexological Bodywork. He drew on the principles of neo-tantra, which is the modern Western approach to ancient Tantric philosophies. 

A lingam massage combines the following elements: 

  • Therapeutic massage
  • Yoga
  • Bioenergetics
  • Sexual therapy

Contrary to penis massage or erotic massage, lingam massages work on three different levels:

  1. Pleasure
  2. Healing 
  3. Connection

It supports lingam owners to direct their pleasure intentionally and harmoniously. In addition, it offers a way to acknowledge and focus on male sexuality through body touch.

The difference between a lingam massage and a penis massage

woman holding a cucumber with milk dripping

Lingam massage focuses on healing and sexual therapy. In contrast, a penis massage (or dick massage) focuses purely on sexualized pleasure and having a good time. And there’s nothing wrong with this!

Lingam massage is not focused on the climax. Instead, ejaculation control is adhered to both by the giver and receiver. 

While in a sensual penis massage, the climax, the release, and the happy ending is the goal.

Many men greatly benefit from a lingam massage since they tend to have difficulty surrendering and receiving. However, this goes back to society’s pressure on men to perform and be the leader consistently. 

And this weight doesn’t suddenly vanish when you step into the bedroom. 

The opportunity to fully release during a full-length lingam massage is a powerful sensual therapeutic agent. It can be an incredibly healing experience. 

Personal Note: I have healed many emotional blockages and sexual trauma through this practice, and I am always surprised that tears come up during the session.

Is a penis massage the same as penis stretching? 

It depends on the penis massage technique. 

Some penis massages involve penis stretching. The motion is almost similar to jelqing because you may use your hands to apply pressure from the base of the penis going up to the tip. 

However, they’re not quite the same when looking at their purposes. 

The aim of a penis massage is pleasure and relaxation. On the other hand, the aim of penis stretching is to get a bigger d*ck. 

What are the benefits of a lingam massage?

Men who receive a lingam massage can become more sensitive and attuned to the ocean of pleasure many couldn’t even dream about.  

That said, a penis massage can be life-changing since the benefits include the following:

  • Open a doorway to begin experiencing multiple orgasms as a man.
  • Gain a deeper connection to your masculine essence as well as your spiritual and sexual self.
  • Emotional healing by releasing blockages from old traumas, even on a cellular level.
  • Improve blood circulation (according to a report by Harvard Health, a lack of blood circulation to the penis causes impotence in around 70% of men!).
  • Manage erection problems such as ED and weak erections.
  • Boost penis blood flow by widening blood vessels, improving male reproductive function and genital health.
  • Relieve stress.
  • Strengthen intimacy between romantic partners.
  • Increase penis sensation by producing penile vibratory stimulation, hence making you more receptive to pleasure. 
  • Boost sexual stamina.

Above all these benefits, a lingam massage feels amazing. It makes masturbation more pleasurable, and it’s a great foreplay tool for tantric sex.

How to give a lingam massage

Here’s a quick summary of how to give a lingam massage:

  • Use massage oil
  • Awaken the senses
  • Worship the lingam
  • Appreciate the hard and soft lingam
  • Breath awareness
  • Communicate the pleasure scale
  • Give aftercare

In total, there are 16 steps. This amazing pleasure blend is laid out to lay your lover out and give your man an unforgettable experience. 
Quick Note: Another type of massage I suggest doing as a couple is the Nuru massage.

1. Schedule this intimate experience

Give the man time to prepare mentally, physically, and emotionally. A sensual lingam massage heightens the charged sexual energy and full body healing. 

Set a calendar date so he can prepare for this intimate encounter. At least two hours is necessary for the whole experience. 

Make sure there are no stressful appointments before or after this neo-tantric massage.

It’s always best to plan when doing something romantic with your partner

2. Dim the lights

couple in a romantic mood in a tent

Turn down the lights, and set up a sacred space so the receiver can benefit fully from the experience. 

Make your bedroom a romantic space. Here are a few ways:

  • Use luxurious bed sheets, blankets, and pillows
  • Light candles
  • Use your lover’s favorite natural aroma oils
  • Play relaxing music
  • Add features to your list of tools to play with for sensual pleasure

If the mood is set, letting go and switching off will be much easier. 


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3. Preparation

Before anything else happens, now’s your time to get into the topics of communication and consent. 

Briefly discuss any boundaries and elements he doesn’t want during the penis massage.

Moreover, you can use this opportunity to talk about his preferences.Don’t think of this chat as killing the mood. Quite the opposite. It leads to a much more pleasurable time for both of you and helps you support your man.

4. Apply natural massage oil

Natural oils, such as liquid organic coconut oil and cacao oil, are great when selecting a penis oil. 

Massage oil does more than just create a smooth experience. 

Natural massage oil benefits penis massages by increasing sex drive and libido.

different kinds of massage oils

So, is coconut oil good for the penis?

According to Healthline, specific foods (including coconut oil) have been suggested to improve testosterone and sexual function.

If it’s cold outside, let the coconut oil jar sit in warm water for a few minutes until liquid.

Another option is to use a silicon-based lube. It stays wet longer but is made from synthetic ingredients.

Either way, avoid using excess oil. Too much will reduce lingam sensitivity. 

Remember that you’re working with sensitive skin. Therefore, it’s essential to massage oil on the penis cautiously.

With all that in mind, it’s safe to say that the physical benefits of coconut oil and other natural oils are effective for giving a more sensual lingam massage (and for a yoni massage).

6. Awakening of the senses

naked couple having sex

Sensory awakening gives both of you time to overcome shyness and enter into the raw vulnerability of the tantric lingam massage.

When you remove one of the senses, other senses become enhanced. 

Try a blindfold. Plus, have a feather and sweet whispering words at the ready. Explore and be creative. 

Another practice is eye-gazing meditation. Sit in front of each other face to face. Gaze lovingly into their eyes, and try to see what’s behind their eye. Deepen into love and connect on a soul level.

7. Full body massage

Now, we’re ready to introduce the full body massage. 

Warming your partner up with a full-body massage is the best way to bring him into an ecstatic and open state of being. 

In Taoist Tantra, male sexual energy begins at the lingam and spirals outward. 

We want to create a slow burn and allow the partner to arrive fully in their body.

Invite your partner to lie on their front in your love nest. Rub the massage oil in your hands, and touch their body. Feel and connect.

woman getting a massage

Start massaging by focusing on the extremities, such as the arms and legs. Then circle into their chest, abdomen, and inner thighs to build intensity.

Set the pace. Breathe deeply and consciously in tune with your receiver. 

Explore different strokes using the heel of your hand or a closed fist.

Create a continuous flow as you slowly massage, feeling their entire body relax. Begin gently and build up to a deep, healing massage.

8. Be an amazing lingam worshiper

The best lingam worshippers are those who enjoy the experience themselves! 

For example, tantric blowjobs can be just as pleasurable for the giver as the receiver when the giver enjoys the experience. 

Penile massages take back the lingam’s divine nature. Sacred worship and devotion help both the receiver and giver become more attuned to their sexuality. 

Perhaps, you need to heal your own relationship with the lingam and undo negative associations around the lingam to embrace tantric massages with your whole heart.

Another important note is that it’s not about giving him a hard-on. This, of course, may happen, and if he loses his erection again — that is totally fine! 

All of the benefits of a lingam massage unfold regardless of whether or not his penis is hard.

9. Appreciate the hard and soft lingam

In a tantric lingam massage, the whole of the penis is worshipped — be it hard or soft.

A myth persists that a soft lingam means the man is not pleased. Without a doubt, a man can still feel pleasure even if his d*ck isn’t hard. Heck, he could still reach orgasm!

It’s time to let go of the belief that only a hard lingam means your partner is aroused and feeling bliss from your touch. 

The more you accept and revere the lingam, the more your lover becomes more vulnerable and open. This then feeds back into the pleasure loop, creating ever-heightening sexual fulfillment.

Healing starts when a man feels open enough to receive a massage with a hard or soft lingam. 

10. Breath awareness

Breath awareness is one of the key differences between a regular penis massage and a lingam massage. 

The breath adds a layer of intention beyond pleasure and opens the wonder and divine energy that lingam massages evoke.

Here are pranayama, breathing techniques, for both partners. The giver can help draw the receiver deeper by focusing on sharing in the breathwork:

  • Kapalabhati — Breathing in sharply through the mouth on the inhale, pausing, and then taking a slower breath as you exhale. Tilt the pelvis forward as you breathe in, and tuck the pelvis under as you breathe out.
  • Energy circle — take a deep breath in through the noise strongly. Feel the energy from your pelvis to the crown of your head. Exhale through the mouth and feel prana flood down to the pelvic floor.
  • The following breath awareness technique is for the man to undertake:
  • Lingam breath — breathing in, feeling sensation on the lingam’s tip to the root. On the exhale, breathe from the root to the tip. 

Some of the breath awareness concepts can also apply to testicle breathing

After these practices, briefly sense your body, emotions, and whole being.

11. Communicate the pleasure scale

happy couple hugging

A pleasure scale is a 1-10 scale of the receiver’s arousal. 

One is a state of comfort and relaxation. Ten is a state of orgasmic release. This makes 9 the point of no return, meaning they are on the precipice of orgasming and/or ejaculating. 

In a sacred penis massage, aka lingham massage, you’re not focusing on reaching higher and higher arousal levels. Instead, the valleys of pleasure are also essential to a penis massage. 

Communicating using the pleasure scale keeps the receiver deep in the experience.

12. Apply the art of edging

Edging explores riding the waves of pleasure. This helps with sexual stamina and premature ejaculation and improves blood circulation. All of which lead to longer erections:

  1. Encourage the receiver to communicate where they are on the pleasure scale we’ve mentioned before.
  2. Breathe deeply and encourage your partner to follow your lead.
  3. As your partner edges towards the point of no return, slow down, ease up, or pause to let them catch their breath. 
  4. Edging is a skill to master over time; you’ll learn it together.
  5. Stretching the testicles away from the body helps to ground the receiver back into their body. 
  6. Experiment with all the strokes. Learn the strokes we’ve listed below to awaken your partner’s pleasure.

14. Give aftercare

First, give the recipient time to relax and integrate the experience. 

A lingam massage is a very intense experience and can lead to an emotional response. Do your best to hold whatever comes up. Be vulnerable, soft, supportive, and caring.

Ask for what his needs and desires are. For example, if he seeks an add-on to the experience, you can also offer a testicle massage (which I’ll get into a bit more detail shortly).

15. Make it a regular experience

For many couples, their first penis massage together shakes the relationship to the core — in the very best way!

However, most benefits come into play when this is made a regular shared experience. I recommend 1 to 2 times a month, And, of course, the same applies to a Yoni massage.

16. Don’t overlook your man’s testicles

Testicle massage is an erotic massage that a man can explore by himself, or a partner can take the driver’s seat.

And guess what? Massaging his testicles could even lead to your man getting bigger balls. Literally.

A scrotum massage opens up pleasure into an often-overlooked sensual powerhouse. 

Some benefits include the following: 

  • Maintain healthy testosterone levels
  • Higher libido
  • Expand sexual energy 


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What are the best Lingam massage techniques?

I’ll share a total of my top 17 techniques for giving a sensational lingam massage. These vary across the following: 

  • Massage techniques for a soft penis
  • Massage techniques for an erect penis
  • Ending massage techniques

Practice each stroke for a minimum of 1-2 minutes to get into the swing of it.

Side Note: Do you want to see bigger erections? I strongly encourage checking out the lingam yoga techniques for natural, bigger erections! 

Lingam massage techniques for the soft penis

Use these five penis massage techniques when it’s not erect.

1. The Oil Move (Massage oil benefits penis massages)

oil move graphic

Slide your hands from the perineum all the way up to the lingam. Then, alternate your hands with a smooth stroke while spreading the oil.

2. The heart slide

heart slide graphic

Massage the lingam as it lies on his stomach. 

Stroke one hand from the root of his lingam up to his heart and circling back down. Alternate hands as the receiver experiences the lingam-heart connection.

3. Rock around the clock

Rock around the clock graphic

Alternate both hands from the root to the tip of the lingam. Move it like a hand circling around the face of a clock. 

After one round, you can switch to a counter-clockwise direction.

4. Lingam shiatsu

Lingam shiatsu graphic

Starting at the root of the penis, press the lingam with your thumbs and index fingers:

  • Press
  • Hold
  • Release
  • Use both hands to slowly and incrementally climb up the lingam 
  • Repeat from the shaft once you reach the tip

Remember also to apply this pressure to other sides of the lingam.

5. The Rainmaker

The Rainmaker graphic

This is a great stroke to cool off. Lay the lingam on the belly, and patter tap the fingers tips from tip to the base like rain falling.

Lingam massage techniques for the erect penis

Use these nine penis massage techniques when it’s erect.

6. The healing stroke

 healing stroke graphic

Hold the lingam in both hands—the left-hand strokes up to the belly, and the other glides down to the testicles. Stay here, gently stretching the lingam before you repeat.

7. Rainbow rub

Rainbow rub graphic

One hand holds the root of the man’s penis, and the other palm circles the top, gland, and frenulum of the head.

8. The Bottle Opener

The Bottle Opener graphic

This powerful and arousing technique is also known as the screwdriver. 

First, wrap the thumb and index finger around the base of the shaft. Next, wrap the other around the head of his penis and use it to make a twisting motion in opposite directions as if you were uncorking a bottle of wine.

9. Prayer Position

Prayer Position graphic

Hold the hands in a prayer position, with the lingam in between. Then, move the hands up and down the penis and gently press them together to heighten the sexual experience.

10. Shaft Skiing

Shaft Skiing graphic

Hold the sides of the lingam with both hands. ‘Ski’ with alternating thumbs stroking from the root to the tip on the underside of the penis. First, left thumb and then right thumb. 

Enjoy playing with speed and pressure here.

11. Acupressure Stretch

Acupressure Stretch graphic

Clasp the center of the penis with the thumb and forefinger of both hands. Then, begin to move hands in opposite directions experimenting with speeds, pressures, or even gently tug, if that feels good for him.

12. Snake charmer 

Snake charmer graphic

With one hand, the thumb and index finger form a circle around the testes. Draw downward with gentle pressure. Wrap the other hand around the shaft, massaging the oil from the base of the penis to its tip.

13. The stroke

The stroke graphic

Wrap one hand around the base of the penis and move up to the tip — alternate hands and repeat 9 times. After the ninth time, repeat, but this time, move from tip to base. Next, move down to 8, then 7, etc. Find a rhythm that works for both of you.

14. Skyscraper

Skyscraper graphic

Begin by holding the lingam with your dominant hand and move your hand up and down. This builds excitement and familiarity, and it’s a similar sensation to being and thrusting inside the Yoni. 

Because of the intense stimulation, be careful to gradually increase the pleasure and not to tip him over to ejaculation.

The skyscraper is best for edging. If you want to draw out his pleasure, save this for near the end. 

Lingam massage techniques for the ending

Here are three relaxing resting massage strokes for calming down the sexual energy. And for giving time for integration of the lingam massage and everything that might have come up during the session.

Side Note: Another type of massage I want to suggest is the tantric de-armoring massage for emotional release. Watch my YouTube video guide on the de-armoring massage here

15. The pause

The pause graphic

Lay one soft hand on the lingam and the other cupped on the testicles. Hold still without any pressure. This is a great move when the receiver needs to cool down.

16. The man’s cave

lingam massage

Cup both hands around the lingam, like when you do Namaste, trying to touch as much skin as possible and hold still. Give gratitude.

17. Hold me

Hold me

Hold and squeeze the lingam tightly with both hands and intensify the pressure, communicating with the receiver that it’s still comfortable. This is a good finisher to squeeze out the erection and sexual energy.

Professional lingam massage services exist

The thought may not have crossed your mind once throughout this guide, but professional lingam massages exist. 

But I don’t recommend paying someone for a lingam massage. 

The best person who can give a lingam massage is a romantic partner. Why? Because it’s more intimate and fulfilling to do with a romantic partner. 

Paying a professional to give you a lingam massage removes the romantic elements and can even take away from the spiritual experience of connecting with your partner on a higher level. 

Aside from professional lingam massage services, there are also professional yoni massage services that exist as well. 

Conclusion: Lingam massage for more connection, spark, and pleasure

We’ve explored a lot here, from the benefits to the stages and steps of a lingam massage. 

Following this guide, you’ll be able to massage penis and do the following:

  • Create the perfect love nest
  • Select the right massage oil
  • Delve into connection practices with your love
  • Adorn your partner’s body with your sensual touch

Of course, you are also now well equipped with these tried and tested life-changing penis massage techniques that will light the fires of passion within your partner. 

So if you’re reading this and want to give a lingam massage, give it a go!

If you’re reading this as a man seeking to strengthen your lingam in a proven way, grab my all-natural penis enlargement course here.

You’ll increase the size of your penis by 1-3 cm or half an inch to one inch in the next 90 days, guaranteed and safe. And train your cock-mind connection to get erections on command.


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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

Steffo Shambo is the founder of The Tantric Man Experience. The #1 masculine mentorship program in the world, where he’s helping men master confidence, sexuality, & purpose to reignite the passion in their relationship or attract a meaningful relationship. He’s on a mission to spread a conscious sexual revolution for men worldwide so that they can show up as integrated partners, fathers, and leaders.

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