Many couples miss out on improving both their sexual bliss and spiritual connection when the link between the two are severed. Tantric meditations for couples bridge the divide and give the practitioners a chance to connect deeply.
To finally experience deep, lasting and erotic pleasure together.
So many ways exist to build a tantric relationship, from tantric massage such as the yoni massage, sex positions, to partner tantric yoga.
For today though, we’ll focus on guided tantric meditation for couples.
Before we get into the various techniques and rituals, it’s essential to know the reason why it’s worthwhile in the first place. This intentionality will help both partners to sink deeper into your connection through the mind-blowing effects of these ancient practices. Also, if you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, this is a way to rekindle your passion and sex life.
Table of Contents
- What is tantric meditation for couples?
- Why not just have a regular date night and sex?
- 6 tantric meditations for couples to experience epic sex
- 1. Blue flame meditation
- 2. Adoration puja meditation
- 3. Kundalini tantric meditation for couples
- 4. Transfiguration meditation
- 5. Sex magic ritual meditation
- 6. Heart puja meditation
- Summary and going even deeper
What is tantric meditation for couples?
Countless gurus and scholars have sought to define tantra over the eons. Sadhguru describes it as a way of “learning to use the body, not as oneself, but as a stepping-stone to deliver this Being to the highest possible dimension.”
Oppositely, Swami Satyananda Saraswati reveals his understandings, “[t]antra is a combination of two ideas – the expansion of mind and the liberation of energy. Therefore, the meaning of tantra is a process by which we expand our consciousness and liberate energy.”
So as we can see here, there is a definite aspect of liberation and transcendence here. But what of a couple’s tantric meditation?
Before colonization, many civilizations had far more rituals around sex. India, for example, has what’s known as right-hand tantra and left-hand tantra. Here’s a brief summary of both:
This is the subtler, gentler path. It teaches refined techniques like visualization and inner meditative work. Concisely, it is concerned with discipline and withdrawal from the physical body.
This is the extreme, fierce, and transgressive path. The fact that sexual practices and substances exist in left-hand tantra made it taboo in the eyes of the colonizers. This lineage embraces the physical body and the layers of the Self. Left-hand tantra is a radical method for reaching enlightenment.
You can probably guess which one nearly died out from the Muslim colonization and, later, that of the British Empire.
So for the remainder of this article, we’ll be diving into Left-Hand Tantra throughout the couple’s tantric meditations.
Note that neither path is better or worse than the other, but we’re focusing here on melding two consciousness to reach higher levels of passion, connection, and sexual bliss.
Why not just have a regular date night and sex?
So many men are warned about the honeymoon phase and how lust and love inevitably taper off after this stage. However, this doesn’t have to be the case, and with these practices, you have the chance to single-handedly take ownership of bringing extraordinary passion back into the relationship.
Saying that, it’s not as simple as taking a posture from the Kama Sutras and continuing on as usual. Instead, the conscious connection of tantra gifts both participants a potent means of connecting to their higher Self and each other. When man and woman enter into this unity, they intertwine their Shiva and Shakti, male and female, energies.
So, now that we have the background knowledge, let’s dive into the tantric meditations for couples.
6 tantric meditations for couples to experience epic sex
Taking the time to set up a meditation space with your partner is an alluring act of intimacy.
We’ll be exploring these six powerful tantric meditations for couples:
- Blue flame meditation
- Adooration puja meditation
- Kundalini tantric meditation
- Transfiguration meditation
- Sex magic ritual meditation
- Heart puja meditation
With each guided meditation, you can explore creating an ambiance of sensuality. Tidy the area, light candles, perhaps put on a curated playlist for the allocated time and let your partner feel cherished by doing so.
1. Blue flame meditation
The blue flame represents raw, primordial energy that is NOT rigid. Similarly, it’s not bullheaded energy that seeks only to dominate. Instead, the blue flame is strong and flexible. It can bend and burn and adapt. In daily life, as in achieving sexual bliss with your partner, this is imperative. The opposite of being a pushover, embodying this energy is a show of unstoppable strength while still remaining very much in touch with his partner’s needs and desires.
In the Vigyan Bhairav Tantra, one of the most famous tantra texts, Shiva gives his partner Devi (Shakti) the following meditation technique: “attention between eyebrows, let mind be before thought. Let form fill with breath essence to the top of the head and there shower as light.”
Crucially, this blue light relates to the pineal gland in the brain, which is responsible for spiritual awakening or spiritual sleep. It also corresponds to the third eye chakra.
During couples tantric meditation, there is great potential to evolve together. In short, they taste the elixir of liberation and spiritual connection together.
How to perform the blue light meditation
Step 1: Ball of light. Begin sitting opposite one another, taking a receptive gaze. Then, both partners close their eyes and shift their awareness to a ball of light expanding behind the brow center in the brain and witnessing the sensations present there.
Step 2: Third-eye and throat chakra. We’ll begin a journey through the chakras. The woman will connect to her feminine energy centers and the man to his masculine. To start off, the woman breathes soft and naturally, focusing on the third-eye chakra, the center of the brows— a female energy center. The man will focus on the throat chakra, as this is a male energy center. Let this continue for three minutes.
Step 3: Heart and solar plexus chakra. The woman breathes through the heart chakra, the heart center, while the man breathes through the solar plexus chakra (located at the navel center). Let this continue for three minutes.
Step 4: Sacral and root chakra. The woman then moves her breath and awareness down to the sacral center while the man descends to the root chakra, located at the base of the spine. Again, spend three minutes here.
Step 5: Turn back to back. On the inhale, travel from your sex center to the crown chakra. On the exhale, send this energy out to the ether. Continue this for a couple of minutes— becoming drunk on your breath! Then, allow the experience to liberate you and your sexual partner’s being.
Step 6: Yab-yum. Now, take the tantric position of yab-yum. Firstly, the male sits cross-legged, and the woman sits atop his lap, facing him, and interlacing her ankles, or takes the soles of her feet to touch at his lower back. Next, rest your third eyes against one another. Feel the descent of cosmic energy.
NOTE: option to practice tantric sex during step 6.
Step 7: Lovers’ embrace. Take lovers’ embrace position now. Lying side to side, face each other and tangle your limbs together. While in lovers’ embrace, visual that you are in an egg of blue light. Know that imagination is the journey to intuition.
NOTE: step 7 can also be practiced in sexual intimacy. Be sure to choose one of the sex positions that creates deep intimacy for you both.
2. Adoration puja meditation
A puja is a devotion, a gift, or an offering. This tantric meditation designed for couples is thousands of years old. Pujas can be religious, but that isn’t necessary for this ritual. What’s most important is that the puja allows both partners to learn how to give and receive separately.
In sex, partners often rush to tick both boxes of giving and receiving all at once. With these tantric techniques, we’ll spend time to separate both and feel the rich benefits of giving and receiving in their own right.
How to perform the adoration puja
Part 1: Purifying
Step 1: Create a puja set. Here’s what you’ll need:
- Candle and matches
- Water and a container for the water
- A rose
- Rose petals
- 2 squares of good quality chocolate
- String or beads
- Water in the center to purify
Step 2: Choose a receiver and a giver. The receiver takes time to open up to love and gratitude. Keep palms open. Above all, both partners take deep, conscious breaths.
Step 3: Cleansing. Firstly, the giver dips the spoon into the purifying water and throws it over their left shoulder. Repeat on the right side. Next, take a spoon of water, place a droplet on your tongue and repeat a chant. You may prefer for this to be a simple chant of “Om” or some chant that is meaningful to you both. Repeat three times.
Step 4: Open the puja. Ring the bell to open the ceremonial space.
Step 5: Water is purifying and washes away any old grudges or bitterness. In light of this, offer two rounds to the base of the body, two to their heart, one to their face, and two circling their whole body. Next, pour some water into your hand and sprinkle it on their face, welcoming the new them as they wish to be reborn in this moment and every moment. A powerful gift you can give your partner is to look at them with fresh eyes and wonder.
Part 2: Invoking passion
Step 6: Incense. Purify the incense with three drops of water. Incense brings in passion. In addition, it invites in the receiver’s unique fragrance for them to bring all the flavors of their being into the ceremony. Circle three rounds to the base of their body, two to their heart, three to their face, and one to their whole body. Giver repeats in their mind, “I welcome you in your entirety.”
Step 7: Now, onto the fire element. Welcome their creativity, passions, and emotions. Circle the candle twice around the base of their body, four times to the heart and three times to their face. Then draw the flame in the space between your hearts. Fire is an excellent transmuter, so this is a chance for the receiver to let go and bring in new energy. The receiver blows out the flame, allowing them to whisper something they’d like to bring into their life.
Step 8: Rose. When you offer a rose, you meet a person with their petals and thorns. Trace the rose from shoulder to thumb and then to the second finger. All the while, the giver sets the intention that all aspects of the receiver are welcome. Even when the giver wants to control their partner, they welcome all of them and release that need for control. Repeat on all fingers and repeat to the other side. Bow to the receiver to close.
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Part 3: Heart connection
Step 9: Heart connection. The giver rubs their hands and holds them out, receiving energy. Take two deep breaths. Now, place one hand on the heart, and hover the other over their partner’s heart. Take a moment to feel their heart and your own.
Once you are energetically connected, press the hover onto the partner’s chest. The giver takes the hand from their own heart to the receiver’s cheek. Begin to touch and stroke the receiver’s body with hyper awareness and care. Explore with tenderness, and when finished, take the hands back to your own heart. In one word, share a gift of what you’d like to share with your partner. Bow to the receiver to close.
Step 10: Chocolate. Hover your hand over the piece of chocolate, infusing it with your essence. Afterward, tantalize the receiver with the chocolate, allowing them to smell, then lick it before finally letting them savor the rich flavors. The giver then feeds themselves a piece of chocolate. Revel in the sensations and taste.
Part 4: Playfulness
Step 11: Rose kiss. Trace the rose down the receiver’s body. Start at the top of the head. Kiss the receiver through the petal as it grazes their lips, adding a level of intimacy and tension to the experience. Bow to the receiver to close.
Step 12: Rose petals. Playfulness is crucial for an amazing relationship, so here’s a chance to invite that sense of fun into the puja. Circle two rounds to the base of their body, two to their heart, two to their face, and one to their whole body.
Afterward, sprinkle the rose petals over their body. The receiver gets in touch with the level of childlike wonder that your relationship gives them. Perhaps remembering all of the playful moments you have shared together and the many more to come. Bow to the receiver to close.
Step 13: Divine marriage. Rather than a real marriage, this is a chance to honor their humanity and divinity. The giver wraps a string, or beads, around the receiver’s left wrist. Stroke their arm from shoulder to wrist.
Step 14: Connect. Sit in yab-yum position and spend time connecting and resting in each other’s embrace. Express your gratitude for each other in that moment.
3. Kundalini tantric meditation for couples
When you think about it, rituals are what form our life. We get up at a set time, have our breakfast, and on and on. Sacred rituals transform our days and so our lived experience, especially for a couple to thrive sexually. Imperatively, you are both setting aside time to prioritize each other in this kundalini ritual.
How to perform the kundalini tantric meditation for couples
Step 1: Start by sitting in Sukhasana (Easy Pose), or whichever you can both hold with relative ease for 11 minutes. Then, sit close enough so that your knees graze your lover’s.
Step 2: Begin with a chant of “Ong namo guru dev namo” (“I bow to the Divine wisdom of All That Is. I bow to the Divine teacher within.”)
Step 3: Hold each other’s hands in bear grip. With fingers curling inwards, they hook your partner’s, the woman’s right palm faces the earth while her left is facing skywards.
Step 4: Take kapalabhati breath. One of the stronger breathing techniques, both partners take a pumping breath, inhale and exhale sharply through the nose for three minutes. This tantric approach builds fire and heat in the body. Follow this energy through by taking a mula bandha lock. Specifically, draw up through the anus and perineum and in through the navel to store this energy.
Step 5: Take time to establish a steady gaze with your partner. It might take time to let surface nervousness or even laughter subside. Establish a connection, and exude feelings of love and divine light into the eyes before you.
Step 6: Abdominal breath. Be sure to expand through the abdomen as you breathe in, filling the lower lobes of the lungs.
What’s more, abdominal breathing is a cornerstone of tantric sex. It helps you control and modulate your sexual pleasure and arousal better and with more ease. In essence, the breath causes the pelvic muscles to relax on each inhale.
Step 7: Explore this tantric experience for 11 minutes— visualize your lover in your mind right at your brow point, feel any energy, sexual or otherwise, that arises and relax the body and breathe.
4. Transfiguration meditation
Transfiguration means to see beyond the figure.
In essence, this guided couple’s tantric meditation pierces through the layers for you to see the spark of life and divinity in your partner. In ancient eastern traditions, there is an emphasis on revering the yoni (meaning vagina in this context) and lingam (penis) as they represent the divine feminine and masculine. Conversely, in modern society, shame pervades sexuality.
To combat this shame, here is a tantric practice to transform your relationship with your genitals and sexuality as a whole.
How to perform a transfiguration meditation
Part 1: Eye-gazing transfiguration
Step 2: Eye gazing. Be sure to focus on one eye at a time during the deep act of eye gazing to avoid making the other person dizzy as your eyes shift. See beyond the veils of the flesh and into the essence of the person before you. Allow yourself to be present through an awareness that is fully relaxed.
Step 3: Conscious undressing. The woman starts by taking off each article of clothing until she is completely naked. Meanwhile, as each layer of clothing comes off, the woman visualizes that she is stripping off a mask or piece of armor. Once this is complete, the woman stands before you in her raw, natural, beautiful form. The man gazes, transfiguring his woman. Repeat with the man undressing and the woman gazing.
Part 2: Yoni Ritual
Step 4: Yoni transfiguration. The woman shifts to a position where the man can see his partner’s yoni. Then, slowly, the man’s gaze lowers solely to the yoni. Bring in an attitude of love and devotion. Also, be aware that this position is very open and vulnerable, so it’s essential to do this with a sense of reverence for this act of sexual intimacy.
Step 5: Yoni puja. A puja means “devotion” or “worship” in Sanskrit. The man gets to worship and adore the yoni in a ritual by offering the yoni gifts of light (a candle), incense, and flower petals. Take one object at a time and circle it around your partner’s yoni 3-7 times.
Part 3: Lingam ritual
Step 6: Lingam transfiguration. Next, the man shifts to a position where the woman can see her partner’s penis. Similar to before, the woman’s gaze shifts solely to the lingam, honoring his sacred sexuality. Undeniably, this is an opportunity to return the intentions of love and devotion. Gaze through the eyes of the heart with love and admiration. Step 7: Lingam puja. First off, the woman gets to worship and adore the lingam in a ritual by offering their partner gifts of light (a candle), incense, and flower petals. Take one object at a time and circle it around your partner’s yoni 3-7 times. She can adorn his lingam with petals while circling his sacred center. Moreover, the woman transmits a devotional energy and completes the tantra ritual by bowing to the lingam. Step 8: Sensual mindfulness. It’s time to integrate the practice, option to sit facing each other or in yab-yum. Both partners take time to feel their emotions or sensations.
5. Sex magic ritual meditation
Sexual energy is the most potent creative force in the universe. Know that you can use the energy from this guided tantric meditation for couples to release tension, feel intensely, and power your dreams and manifestations.
6. Heart puja meditation
This couple’s tantric meditation is inspired by Tong Leng. Its purpose is to heal emotional wounds, find gratitude in honor of being with your partner and feel a deep sense of connection.
How to perform the heart puja meditation
Part 1: Connecting
Step 1: Breathwork. Begin by facing each other and taking three deep breaths and sighs. Once through the heart, then through the belly, and finally into the pelvis. Take time to come to the center and then bow to the soul in front of you.
Step 2: Heart connection. Take hands to heart and feel into your presence and your partner’s. Visualize your ideal relationship with the person in front of you.
Step 3: Grab a timer. Set a time for one person to talk and the other person to actively and compassionately listen. During this time, the speaker expresses their vulnerabilities and challenges from their heart. To clarify, the listener makes no interjections. After the timer rings, the other person can speak. Repeat this process, except this time the speaker expresses their love for their partner and their relationship.
Part 2: Forgiving and appreciating
Step 4: Forgiveness clearing. Say sorry for anything that was out of alignment with love. Heartfelt apologies prevent the build-up of resentment. It’s not about being wrong but clearing the air. Gaze and face each other. Hold hands and apologize earnestly without a clause.
For example, rather than “I’m sorry I yelled last night, but you were irritating me”. Shift this phrase to “I’m sorry I yelled last night”. Blame does not serve a relationship, and if you can be courageous and responsible for your actions, you inspire your partner to do the same. Great sexual healing is possible in this moment. Set a timer and let the speaker apologize, and then swap roles. Take a deep sigh together once complete.
Step 5: Gratitude. On the flip side of the previous practice, the speaker strokes and caresses their romantic partner while showering them with gratitude. Lean in to what you’re appreciative of, including their actions and words. Again, swap roles once the speaker is finished.
Step 6: Heart connection. Both partners place their left hand on their own heart and their right hand on their partner’s. Through this infinity loop of love, breathe into the vulnerability of each other’s hearts. Moreover, feel their pain through their eyes and breathe that pain into your heart. And exhale a wave of love.
This simple exchange works with the heart’s alchemy that literally transforms pain into compassion. Whisper a single sentence such as “I commit to keeping your heart safe.” Bow to each other to close and honor this couple’s tantric meditation.
Summary and going even deeper
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Men's Relationship Coach
Steffo is the founder of The Tantric Man Experience, the #1 masculine mentorship program in the world. There he helps men in relationships reignite the passion to restore their marriages from the brink of divorce. And single men attract their dream women naturally with success. He's on a mission to guide men towards an intimate and meaningful relationship, and end the war with their sexuality, so they can finally become integrated men, fathers, brothers, husbands, and leaders in the world.
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