How To Give A Yoni Massage: Your Ultimate Step-By-Step Guide

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Jun 12, 2024
yoni massage guide

Of all tantric practices, yoni massage (also known as vagina massage, vulva massage, and including yoni mapping) is one of the most important and occupies a sacred place within the tantric tradition.

Learning how to give a good sensual massage will not only enable you to become an amazing lover and bring new levels of sexual intimacy into your relationship. Becoming skilled in yoni massage will enable you to bring profound mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical healing to your woman. This is invaluable and will impact her for the rest of her life.

Like anything of value, the ability to give a good yoni massage does not come easily or naturally. It is much more than simply being good at playing with her pussy and making her c*m. You have to study the anatomy, learn the techniques and then practice. Around the world, yoni massage is taught to men by tantric masters for huge sums of money.

As someone who has trained in both giving and teaching tantric yoni massage, the unavailability of this practice to those who are ‘priced out’ doesn’t sit comfortably with me. Hence why I have chosen to write this article. 

Today, I’ll spell it out for you: I’ll teach you how to give a yoni massage and carry out yoni mapping, from start to finish.

The beauty I’ve witnessed whilst giving yoni massages is too much and too important to keep the information to myself.

If you need more info on this topic after reading this, check out Sex instructor Laura Rose Halliday who also teaches yoni massage in one of her articles.

So, get your pen and paper out. Be prepared to take screenshots. It’s about to get serious in this classroom…

What Is Yoni Massage?

Yoni massage is a conscious vagina massage, done in a tantric way for sexual healing. It involves a full body and breast massage, followed by massaging the outer labia, clitoris, vaginal opening, vaginal walls, G-spot, A-spot, K-spot, and cervix.

How To Give A Yoni Massage: Quick Steps

In this article, I will go into enough detail for you to perform a full yoni massage, even if you have never given as much as a foot massage before.

However, I know that there will be some men reading this right now who don’t have time to read the full article. If that’s you, here is a rapid fire summary of the essential yoni massage steps. Read it now, then bookmark this article so that you have the detail to come back to, as and when you have the time.

  1. Calm and control your sexual energy by getting present.
  2. Prepare a clean and beautiful space
  3. Consecration to open the yoni massage ritual.
  4. Full body massage.
  5. Breast massage.
  6. Outer yoni massage.
  7. Enter her yoni temple with the squeeze and release technique.
  8. Yoni mapping process.
  9. G-spot pump and squirting.
  10. Finishing relaxation and integration process.
Hands on pelvic yoni massage

How To Give A Yoni Massage: Full Instructions

The above steps are your quick-fire yoni massage steps. But as with everything, the devil is in the detail. Read on for a detailed explanation of each step.

Your Energy Is Everything

When it comes to yoni massage, your energy is everything. Within Tantra, massage is NOT a sexual practice. It does not and should not lead to sexual intercourse – ever. Yoni massage isn’t foreplay. You are creating a sacred and safe space for the receiver to relax, let down her walls, and allow deep healing to take place.

Make sure you mentally prepare beforehand in order to get into the right frame of mind. Control your sexual energy. You are a channel for divine healing – not a lusty man eager to get his hands on a naked female body for his own self-centered pleasure.

Women are sensitive creatures. If you approach her with even a scrap of sexual desire, she’ll sense it. Moreover, it will be impossible to achieve the true purpose of yonic massage.

Preparing The Physical Space For A Yoni Massage

Once you have cultivated the right internal space, your next step is to prepare the external one. Turn that bedroom into a temple. Put her nerves at ease by preparing a space fit for a Goddess.

In advance of the yoni massage, make sure that you have the following items:

  • Coconut oil, or some other massage oil
  • Flower petals
  • Candles – as many as possible
  • Incense
  • Several towels. There can be a lot of squirting during vaginal massage
  • White clothing for yourself. This isn’t essential, but it is a nice touch and in line with the tantric tradition.

Once you have all of the items, you’re ready to go. Turn off the bright lights, light some candles, scatter flower petals over the bed and burn some incense.

Spread several towels in the space where she will be lying. If you want, you can play some soft music.

Consecration And Yoni Massage Opening Ritual

Before any tantric ritual, it is common to consecrate it. This is an offering of the act, and all of its fruits, to a higher power or deity.

To consecrate, sit opposite your woman. Take her hands in yours, close your eyes and recite the following out loud: “I offer this yoni massage and all of its outcomes to a higher power”. You can replace “higher power” with God, Lord Shiva, Source, or Universal Consciousness – if you want to.

Sit for a few moments in silence, hand in hand. Wait for as long as it takes for any feelings of nervousness to drop away. Perform a synchronized deep breathing exercise and breathe as one. This will create a unified container of unconditional love for the erotic massage.

Open your eyes. Embrace each other.

OK, now you’re ready to start massaging.

Full Body Massage

Any tantric therapeutic massage begins with a full body massage. This relieves any tension and allows the woman to feel fully comfortable with different kinds of touch.

As with any bodywork, apply a generous amount of oil to your hands and rub them together.

Start massaging at the neck and shoulders. Most people carry a lot of tension here so you can be quite firm. Encourage her feedback throughout the entire massage.

After the neck and shoulders, gradually work your way down either side of her spine. Then massage the butt, thighs, calves, and feet.

At this point, you can slide your hands underneath the front of her thighs and massage them from behind. This is a highly erogenous zone and her yoni will respond to this kind of touch.

After you have massaged her entire body, ask her to lie on her back. Mentally prepare to start massaging her more intimate parts. Sit in between her legs. Remember: control your sexual energy. Make sure that you are physically comfortable. You are going to be in this for the long haul. If she senses that you are uncomfortable, she won’t be able to surrender.

Breast Massage

After the full body massage, it is time to give her a breast massage. Many women have highly sensitive breasts and stimulating them can be felt directly in the clitoris.

Even if your woman doesn’t experience this, breast massage will turn up the intimacy dial and prepare her for the yoni massage.

Using a circular motion, cup her breasts in your hands. Starting from the center, use your thumbs to massage in opposite directions. The left thumb will be going counter-clockwise and the right thumb clockwise.

Use two fingers to massage from the belly button to the sternum. Hold both breasts gently in your hands and caress them in a firm but gentle manner.

Use your intuition to guide you. Pay particular attention to her nipples and delicate sternum.

Get out of your head and into your body. Chances are that whatever you are doing will feel highly enjoyable to her.

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The Yoni Massage Begins

Now that you have warmed up her entire body, you are ready to start massaging her yoni, starting with the outside – the labia majora and labia minora.

With plenty of oil, begin with the outer lips (labia majora). Using your thumb and index finger, rub the lips between your fingers. You can also squeeze them gently.

After this, move onto the inner lips (labia minora). Use two fingers.

Labia diagram outer vulva

After the inner lips, you can start stimulating her clitoris. Check with her whether she likes the clit to be directly stimulated or not. For some women, it is simply too sensitive. Others enjoy direct stimulation. Throughout the yoni massage – communicate!

By the time you’ve finished working on or around the clit, she should start becoming aroused. You will probably notice she is getting wet, and/or breathing heavily. This is a good sign.

Next up, massage the entrance to her vagina (vaginal opening) with your thumbs. This area often gets ignored during sexual play. But it is actually a highly sensitive area, with a LOT of nerve endings.

Entering The Temple

At this point, you’re ready to go inside of her. Her yoni should be dripping wet, inviting you inside.

Regardless of this, ask her whether she is ready to be penetrated. When you receive a yes, slide your middle finger SLOWLY inside.

As you do so, ask her to squeeze and release her pelvic floor muscles. You will feel her yoni contract as she squeezes. As she releases, you’ll feel it too. When you do, allow your finger to be sucked in – ‘drawn’ inside by her yoni. Pause. Tell her to squeeze and release again. Slide your finger a little more further. Repeat until your finger is fully inside of her, and rest here for a while.

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Yoni Mapping

At this point, you can start the healing practice of yoni mapping. The purpose of yoni mapping is to find out where she has tension, numbness, or even pain. And then work these issues out with a trigger point internal massage. 

Yoni mapping is mind-blowing to most women. 

Because it’s the first time in their life they link certain parts of their intimate parts in their brain. So it’s LITERALLY mind-blowing.

Starting with the right wall, massage 1, 3, and 5 o’clock. Then change to the left wall and massage 7, 9, and 11 o’clock. Apply light pressure on the tip of the finger and increase it SLOWLY. Stay on the same spot until the pain has subsided.

Yoni mapping can take 30-40 minutes and can be a very emotional process for a woman.

yoni mapping
two fingers in a grapefruit isolated on a red background top view

After this, you can move on to the cervix. Circle around the entire neck with one finger. START GENTLY. Many women feel pain, sensitivity, or even numbness here, which is why yoni massage is so important.

After the cervix, move on to the G-spot and A-spot – both at 12 o’clock. The G-spot is closest to the entrance of her vagina, and the A-spot is as deep inside the vaginal canal as possible.

Constant feedback during yoni mapping is imperative. She can then tell you if she feels pain or numbness, and you can work on this area a little longer. So make sure to encourage and respond to it.

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G-Spot Stimulation And Squirting

Remember those towels I told you to lay down on the bed? This is when they are going to come in handy.

Once you have worked through yoni mapping, it is time to intensely stimulate the G-spot, via the ‘G-spot pump’ (see image below). Done correctly, this should make her squirt – possibly quite a lot!


The trick to this technique is to really use your whole arm to apply pressure – not just your fingers.

Insert your middle and index finger, just inside of her at 12 o’clock. The spongy area is the G-spot.

Starting with a ‘come hither’ motion, stimulate the G spot. You should feel it engorging as you do so. Gradually increase the strength and pressure of the stimulation until you are moving your whole hand and arm up and down.

When stimulated in this way for long enough, she can start to squirt, producing a little or a lot of fluid that looks a lot like water.

Again, make sure to communicate throughout this part of the massage. This kind of stimulation can produce a strong sensation likenable to needing to pee, or even burning for her. Stop if she asks you to, but make sure to inform her that such sensations are normal and all part of the process.

The more she is able to surrender and give herself to you, the more pleasure she will feel from this intense experience. If she tells you that she really wants to have an orgasm but isn’t doing so from G-spot alone, you can stimulate her clit at the same time.

Note: some women orgasm, or even have multiple orgasms during squirting. Some don’t. Both are normal. So PLEASE don’t force it nor have a goal-oriented agenda that she has to squirt or even have an orgasm.

Closing The Yoni Massage: Finishing Ritual

Hands on yoni massage

When the squirting is over, she is likely to feel emotionally wide open, and quite exhausted. To demonstrate your remaining, loving presence, cup her yoni. Place the palm of one hand on top of the outer lips, with your fingers pointing towards the navel. The other hand should be place on her heart.

Stay in this position for several minutes. She may never have been held like this before and to be so can be deeply healing in and of itself.

Once you intuitively know it is time, remove your hands and sit by her side. Tell her that there is no need to move and that she can take all the time in the world.

Close the yoni massage by connecting eye-to-eye, and with a long embrace.

So, this was your comprehensive guide to giving a woman a yoni massage. This kind of massage can spark heightened levels of intimacy within any relationship, bringing deep healing and connection. If you would like to dive even deeper into the world of tantra, sacred sexuality, ritual and sensual massage, up-leveling not on yourself but your relationship too, you can take my free training for men.

Yoni Massage Online Therapy Course

Do you want to learn how to give yourself or your partner a yoni massage?

Do you want to use it as a healing tool for your marriage and relationship?

Then taking a step-by-step yoni massage therapy course is for you. I invite you to learn from my trusted friend and teacher Suriya. She is one of the best yoni massage therapists in the world.

Use my coupon discount code “steffo” for 20% off her amazing yoni massage online course, with step-by-step explicit yoni massage instructions.

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What is the male equivalent of yoni massage?

The male version of tantric massage therapy is lingam massage.

Does a woman experience a yoni massage as sexual pleasure?

Not necessarily. Coming into a yoni massage with the attitude of giving of receiving sexual pleasure is not the right one to take. As the giver, you in particular must be very careful to control your sexual energy. Sustained tantric practice can help if you are struggling with this.

Is it OK to have sexual intercourse after giving a vagina massage?

NO. Sexual intercourse after a vagina massage is never OK. This defeats the point entirely.

What kinds of yoni therapy are there for single women?

A single woman can perform a solo vagina massage, whereby she massages her yoni herself. She can use a crystal wand (dildo) if her fingers get tired. A yoni egg practice is also highly advised for single (and non-single!) women.

How long does it take to master tantric massage practice?

As with most things worth having, tantric massage mastery doesn’t come easily. It can take between 5-10 massages to really get the hang of things.

My woman doesn’t feel much sensation when I massage her outer labia. Am I doing it wrong?

No. This is normal. Many women have pretty numb outer labia. This is simply due to neural wiring.

Do I need to learn the anatomy of female genitalia before I give my first vagina massage?

A basic understanding of this area, along with erogenous zones, the G, A, and K spots are helpful to vagina massage, but not essential. Have this article printed out and keep it next to you during the first few massages. You’ll soon learn it by heart!

How long does a vagina massage usually take?

From opening ritual to closing ritual, a vagina massage can take anywhere between 3 and 6 hours. Buckle up. Vagina massage is not a short process!

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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

I am the founder of The Tantric Man Experience™, a pioneering transformational coaching program for men. With over 1500 hours of certified tantra training in India and Thailand and 7 years of experience helping hundreds of men worldwide save their marriages and reignite passion in their love lives.

I have over 8 million views on YouTube and have been featured on VICE and Newstalk Radio for my life’s work - helping men unleash their full masculine potential.

My holistic FLT method seamlessly integrates ancient tantric philosophy with my modern expertise in relationships, sexuality, dating, and men’s health.

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