Fear Of Rejection: What It Means, How It Affects A Man’s Life, And How To Overcome It

by Fear of Rejection



Men have learnt to be strong, independent and courageous by nature. However, due to the complexities of human nature, achieving this is not always an easy journey. Every successful man has experienced rejection at some point in his life. Rejection is what made him overcome his fears and try harder to accomplish his goals.


Why Is Fear Or Rejection Such A Common Feeling Among Men?


Most men tend to be oblivious to their own truth. Fear of rejection from women derives mostly from personal insecurities. If you knew what it is you want, need or looking for, would you be afraid of rejection? Men tend to fantasize that they will never be rejected by women, which is simply a manifestation of their insecurities. So, what are the factors that make fear of rejection such a common issue among men?

  • Rejection confirms your deepest fears
    You might be thinking that you are not feeling loved, that you are destined to be alone forever, or that you are not worthy of someone else’s love.
  • You are afraid to experience pain
    Rejection makes you feel hurt and the fear of having these kinds of feelings makes you prefer staying away from people rather than approach them.


Understand Fear Of Rejection


To overcome your fear of rejection, you need to understand better how it affects your life. What are the signs that indicate your fear of approaching women and your lack of sexual confidence?

1)      You feel overwhelmed by the dating scene

If you are experiencing fear of rejection, a first date looks like a constant struggle and worry of whether the girl next to you likes you or not. Instead of focusing on getting to know her, all you do is stress and worry about how she perceives you.

2)      You experience approach anxiety

Approach anxiety is a common issue among men suffering from fear of rejection.

3)      You pretend to be someone you are not

You might think that not showing your true self will save you from being rejected by women. You portray a different version of yourself, which can make you feel inauthentic.

4)      You have become a people pleaser

By becoming a people pleaser, you have the feeling that people will like you more, even if you take on too much, more than you can handle. 

5)      You avoid confrontation

By avoiding confrontation, you don’t speak up for yourself and don’t ask for things you want so that you avoid rejection.

Fear of Rejection

7 Ways To Overcome Fear Of Rejection


If you are experiencing the above behaviors in your everyday life, fear of rejection from women is a strong feeling you are having. To overcome your fear of rejection, there are several steps you need to follow:

1)      Understand that it’s just not about you

In about 90% of the times you talk to a woman and it’s not going anywhere; it has nothing to do with you. Circumstances always affect the course of our lives. There could be a million things happening to that woman while you talk to her that are completely irrelevant to you and your personality. Unfortunately, we can’t control external factors. You need to learn how to let go and always keep in mind that it’s not about you.

2)      Be yourself and be authentic

When approaching a woman, you need to do this based on truth. If you keep thinking whether she will like you or not, in the event things don’t go well you will end up taking it personally. What you need to be thinking of instead is what that woman is like, or whether you can have an adventure together. Regardless of the outcome, you’ll know you have succeeded, simply because you found out the truth.

3)      Always remember that it has happened to everyone

Rejection is a part of life and everyone has faced it more than once. Remember, you are not the only one who has experienced rejection by women, it has happened to everyone. This thought might help you fear rejection less.

4)      Acknowledge your feelings

Rejection comes in all shapes and sizes; everyone is experiencing it in a different way. Before addressing your feelings, you need to thoroughly validate them and acknowledge them so you can move forward. This practice will allow you to understand how rejection makes you feel and help you connect deeper with yourself.

5)      Every rejection is a lesson

Every rejection you experience in your life should be a lesson. A lesson of how it makes you feel, and of the opportunities it provides in regards to self-growth, development and healing.

6)      Face your fear

As mentioned above, 90% of the times you approach someone and it doesn’t lead anywhere, it has nothing to do with you. This argument should help you face your fear of rejection. If it’s not about you and it has to do with external factors, what are you afraid of?

7)      Stop talking negatively about yourself

Talking negatively about yourself reinforces the thought that everything was your fault, when in reality, it has nothing to do with you. You need to remind yourself what you are worth and what you are capable of. This will help you unleash your inner king.


What If You Only Experience Rejection?


If you are one of those men who only experience rejection and come home empty-handed every time they approach a woman it’s because you don’t show the real YOU. You might be adopting pick up techniques that don’t suit your personality or even use lines that have nothing to do with who you are. You choose not to address your emotional baggage or acknowledge your feelings. This shows a lack of personal responsibility as well as self-awareness. Stay true to yourself, be authentic, be original, be yourself, be a true king.

fear of rejection


How To Initiate Sex Without Fear Of Rejection

A common question many men ask me is how to initiate sex without fear of rejection. Men who are suffering from fear of rejection are scared and hesitant to initiate sex with their partners or even ask for it. You might be thinking, ‘I don’t want to get rejected’ or ‘I am really bad in asking for sex’. Sex is about a deeper connection with your partner. They are with you because they see something in you that attracts them. You don’t have to ask for sex, there are other non-verbal ways you can initiate a sexual interaction with your partner.

  • Try a tantric practice that will lead you to a deeper connection
  • Don’t wait for the perfect conditions. Trying to create the perfect vibe will take time and might lead to you or your partner losing motivation.
  • Discover what outcome you seek from your sexual experience and make it happen. Do you want to connect with your partner, release stress, or have a full body orgasm? Each man seeks different things from his sexual encounter.
  • Remove the blame. Stop worrying if you are sexy enough, good enough, or fit enough – it’s not about you, it’s about intimacy.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask. As said earlier, you cannot control external circumstances.


What Is Considered A Successful Outcome When It Comes To Fear Of Rejection?


Success can mean different things to different people. Men put a lot of pressure on themselves to be successful, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Some might think that success with women is not to be rejected or the number of women they have dated, while others might think that success is when their girlfriends are more attractive than their friends’ girlfriends. There are various conventional wisdom approaches to what success is. Some might say that success is determined by women, as they choose which guys, they think have what they are looking for. Another approach considers success as a matter of wealth and appearance.


However, it is up to you to determine what you consider as a success with women. Defining your success is of high importance. Your behavior and approach will be relevant to what you need to do to achieve your goal – success. If you choose the wrong definition of success you will figure it out down the line and all your efforts will just go to waste. Therefore, don’t define success in a quantitative way, choose qualitative metrics that will maximize your personal happiness and life satisfaction.


Your Personal Definition Of Success


Once you identify what success means to you, your approach will take a completely new turn. You’ll stop waiting for women to select or validate you, and instead, you will start seeking those women you think will make you happy and help you achieve your goal.


Fear of rejection will take you backward and won’t help you become the man you are meant to be. You need to define what you consider as success with women and start working towards your goal. You will learn how to overcome your fears, acknowledge your feelings, and finally unleash your inner king. My free training will help you release your emotional baggage, one of the main causes of fear of rejection, and guide you through a spiritual journey that will help you achieve a deeper connection with your partner.

Watch my free training to help overcome your fear of rejection from women.


Fear of Rejection Video


Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Mentor at Tantric Academy

Steffo Shambo is the founder of the most reliable self-empowerment system on the planet, that has transformed hundreds of men’s marriages from all around the world. His specialty is helping men realize their full masculine confidence, intimate power, and depth of connection with their spouse.

“It meant a paradigm shift in life.” – Patrik, Sweden
“Life-changing experience.” – Antonio, Italy