10 Clear Signs Your Marriage Is Over And What To Do Next

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Apr 11, 2024
signs your marriage is over

You’re sitting on the couch: remote in hand, flipping channels.

Suddenly you’re struck by a thought – are the signs your marriage is over flickering on the screen of your life like an old sitcom rerun?

It’s not just about spotting the ‘uh-oh’ moments. It’s a deep dive into the soap opera of your marital woes, with a dash of hope for a plot twist.

In this straight-shooting guide, I’ll share the exact warning signs your marriage is over. Or as you might call it, the season finale.

Perhaps you’re just in a bit of a storyline slump, or the credits are about to roll on your relationship.

Read on to find out!

The Diminishing Spark In Married Couples

Like a once blazing fire that’s now reduced to smoldering embers, the spark in a marriage can fade over time.

A healthy marriage thrives on intimacy, both physical and emotional. When this bond weakens, feelings of isolation can creep in.

And do you know what happens when those feelings make their way in?

It can push the relationship to a point of no return.

To stay married, you have to keep the flame going. It’s never a one-and-done type of thing. You must continue putting in the effort for a healthy relationship.

That said, I want you to ask yourself:

  • When did you last spend time doing cute things together, like holding hands or going on a date?
  • How long ago was it when you shared a loving kiss that wasn’t just a perfunctory peck on the cheek?

Are your memories hazy? If so, it’s a sign of diminishing intimacy. This lack of connection can foster resentment and make your partner feel unheard.

And if your partner feels unseen or unvalued, the emotional bond will only continue to erode.

At its worst, a marriage can feel like living with an emotionally distant roommate. Interactions are rare, and you’re both living your own lives.

every relationship has its ups and downs

Top 10 Signs Your Marriage Is Over

Recognizing these signs may feel challenging. Often, it’s a series of subtle changes, like a gradual shift in your partner’s behavior.

Anyway, here are the top signs your marriage is over:

  • No emotional connection
  • Endless conflict
  • An absence of excitement
  • You can’t trust each other
  • You keep your partner out of your plans
  • Loss of respect
  • There’s a sense of relief when you’re alone
  • You can never find a middle ground
  • You keep secrets
  • Domestic abuse

Any of these signs are enough to tell you that your relationship is in trouble.

Or, watch my short YouTube clip below for a summary of why relationships fail:

1. No emotional connection or intimacy

You know you’re in a no-intimacy zone when you’re struggling with a sexless marriage.

Perhaps it’s been weeks, months, or even years.

And now you’re at a point where you live together not as romantic partners. You treat each other more like roommates. Being acquaintances sounds more fitting to your relationship status than being a married couple.

Without an emotional connection, the marriage feels empty. Quite frankly, it might even seem pointless.

As this continues, it’s common to begin to feel isolated or unsupported in your marriage.

The result?

You begin to step back, withdraw, and become less affectionate.

The outcome will look something like this:

  • Increase in arguments
  • Unresolved tensions
  • Ineffective communication

This can put both partners on edge. Going on for too long without sex can even begin to affect your self-esteem and mental well-being.

2. Endless conflict

At the heart of many marital problems is conflict.

you constantly argue and never resolve the issue

I’m not talking about the occasional disagreement over what to cook for dinner.

No, I’m talking about the rather constant criticism and air of hostility. The type of atmosphere that leaves you feeling emotionally drained, frustrated, and constantly angry.

See it as a never-ending rollercoaster ride. The same argument repeats over and over without resolution.

Criticism out of nowhere might just be a sign of marital dissatisfaction. Hostility in itself raises a red flag.

You can overcome a broken relationship full of conflict. How? By communicating effectively so that you’re both on the same page. This requires empathy and understanding.


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

3. An absence of excitement

Imagine a life stripped of color, where everything is a dull shade of grey.

Well, that’s what a dying marriage marriage feels like.

You may start losing interest in spending time with your spouse.

Before, it was fun. You used to do all sorts of activities together. Now? It’s become pretty boring.

You might find yourself lost in thought about a life without your partner. If that’s you, no need to feel guilty.

It’s common. However, you should be concerned when you take pleasure in losing yourself in thoughts.

Why? Because it’s one of the warning signs that your marriage is in the rough.

4. You can’t trust each other

its not uncommon for you to doubt what your partner is up to

Incidents like infidelity can destroy trust in a marriage.

Without trust, the marriage is more or less over. This might also be why your wife yells at you.

Any healthy relationship requires a strong amount of trust in your partner. A breach leads to constant doubts and suspicion. It becomes difficult to believe that everything’s alright.

The result? A cold and distant marriage, where partners emotionally distance themselves from each other to avoid the pain of betrayal.

Forgiveness is crucial, but it can be hard to forgive.

If this is causing a severe struggle in mental health, it’s worth seeing a licensed mental health counselor.

5. You keep your partner out of your plans

Are you living your own life, almost as if you’re single?

Well, my friend, that’s another warning sign.

Making plans without considering your spouse makes it clear that there’s a disconnect in your marriage.

Worse, it may indicate you no longer see a shared future.

Distracting yourself from the marriage isn’t healthy.

When you’re prioritizing alone time, an underlying problem in the marriage needs to be addressed.

6. Loss of respect

Does your partner challenge your masculinity?

a loss of respect can make couples yell out of frustration

Maybe your wife throws insults at you like nothing. In reality, her words and actions hurt. She doesn’t respect you for the man you are.

You might be left in confusion. All you’ve only ever done was try your best. What went wrong?

Well, you can repair the relationship and gain her respect back.

However, it might feel over when you’ve lost the willpower. The disrespect has been a daily routine for a long time. You’ve had enough.

A lack of respect results in dismissive behavior. And when you feel like you can’t take it anymore, it may suggest that you’re getting closer to the finish line.

7. There’s a sense of relief when you’re alone

Are you happy to be alone?

Finally, your wife is gone. She’s gone out with her friends, family—whatever it is, you don’t care. You’re just happy that she’s gone and that you have the house to yourself.

Does that sound like you?

Because if it does, then it’s a red flag.

You’ve made it clear that you would rather live your own separate lives than spend it together.

After all, you’d rather be alone than with her.

There’s something wrong with the marriage when you feel a huge sense of relief every time you get alone time. You may even do your best to avoid spending time with your wife.

you always let out a sigh of relief whenever you have some alone time

8. You can never find a middle ground

Perhaps you argue over the smallest things. Dishes, laundry—you name it.

But whatever it is, a small argument turns into something serious. You begin pointing fingers and criticizing each other.

Worse, you start bringing up the past. And what seemed like a petty argument is now something more serious.

Failing to find a middle ground signifies marital problems and poor communication. If no one is willing to compromise, the relationship is almost as good as over.

9. You keep secrets

not telling your partner everything can be the start of a dying marriage

Privacy is one thing, keeping secrets from your partner is another.

Secrets can sow the seeds of doubt in a relationship. Hiding information or lying to your spouse can indicate that your marriage is in jeopardy.

Perhaps you’re not telling each other things because you fear how the other would react. Still, it’s not in either of your best interests to lie and intentionally keep things from one another.


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

10. Domestic abuse

Domestic violence and manipulation across all categories is unacceptable:

  • Physical abuse
  • Verbal abuse
  • Emotional abuse

None of these are healthy at all. In fact, domestic violence poses a serious warning in any marriage or relationship.

It’s worth seeking professional support and guidance if this is the case. And having a safety plan to find or create a safe space is crucial.

Financial Secrecy And Infidelity Dents Any Healthy Marriage

finance issues and infidelity can destroy your marriage

There are common cases in married couples that cause the marriage to be on the path to separation:

  • Financial secrecy
  • Infidelity

Imagine you discover your spouse making secretive purchases behind your back.

Or worse, they make significant life decisions without discussing it with you.

And imagine you found out your spouse has been seeing someone else. They might not have done anything intimately, but your partner was going behind your back emotionally.

If any of these events happened, wouldn’t you feel betrayed?

Both of these are a serious breach of trust. Not only does this cause feelings of betrayal, it may even lead to anxious attachment traits.

Questioning Longevity: Doubting The Future Of Your Marriage

Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming about a future without your spouse?

Or imagining them as a different version of themselves?

These thoughts could be a signal that there’s a hidden concern. Any seed of doubt suggests a lack of satisfaction.

Do you feel that your happiness depends on your spouse changing something fundamental about themselves?

Well, that’s a seed of doubt.

Unfortunately, all of these things can be more common than you’d think.

However, if you’re unwilling to commit to resolving issues during rocky times, it reveals a lack of investment in your relationship’s survival.

Individual Growth Vs. Growing Apart

Personal growth means positively transforming your life.

Yet, if it isn’t mutually experienced by partners, it can cause a bend in the road of your relationship.

If you find that you no longer share the same values or goals as your partner, your marriage might be on the path to being over.

Now, it’s important to address these differences and communicate openly with your partner.

But failing to align on goals or having serious discussions is a sign that your marriage is approaching an end.

A successful long-term couple must balance their individual development with shared experiences to avoid feeling disconnected.

Are you still persistent enough to try to change who your partner is at heart? Well then, this also reflects a lack of acceptance. This leads to relationship struggles and conflict.

Exit Strategies: Considering Divorce As The Only Option

its common to think that divorce is your only option left

When you start fantasizing about being single and having a dating life, I have some news for you. It could just mean that you’ve emotionally moved on.

Anyhow, you may be struggling with issues around the following:

  • Abuse
  • Drugs
  • Alcohol
  • Infidelity

Have you tried everything from relationship check-ins to changing your habits, but nothing’s changed?

Then, your situation might feel beyond repairable. You’re out of luck. The only option seems to be a divorce.

However, before taking the step to divorce, it’s advised to do the following:

  • Secure copies of all important documents
  • Review living arrangements
  • Assess financial needs
  • Document any marital misconduct
  • Seek the guidance of a divorce attorney

Active avoidance by partners is often recognized by family law attorneys as a sign that the marriage has gone downhill.

When efforts to repair the marriage have been extensive and ongoing without resolving the emotional disconnect, a family law attorney may see divorce as the inevitable next step.

Is It Possible To Rekindle A Broken Marriage When You’re Never On The Same Page?

Is your marriage a sinking ship, or can it be saved?

It’s absolutely possible to win your wife back. It requires effort, communication, and commitment. You can rekindle a broken marriage, no matter how stuck you might feel.

To start with, try sharing some good news with each other daily. Focus on bringing yourselves closer to help rebuild the relationship. Stop playing the blame game.

For a love story to endure, the three A’s that ruin marriages must be eliminated:

  • Addictions
  • Affairs
  • Anger

Keep your impulses under control.

Then, focus on increasing physical intimacy. Kissing and holding hands go a long way and can create more positive experiences.

Even better, you might just reignite your partner’s sexual desire.

Remember the qualities that initially attracted you to your partner. Acknowledging these feelings can help reignite feelings of love.

What To Do To Heal Your Marriage

it is 100 percent possible to bring back the love trust and passion

Here’s what you can do to heal your marriage:

  • Improve communication
  • Prove your love through actions
  • Learn to find compromise
  • Consider professional help

You might’ve recognized that your marriage is in trouble. But you don’t want to throw the towel in because you believe you can fix things.

If that’s you, I’ve got good news for you. You can change things. In fact, you can singlehandedly fix your marriage.

Granted, it’s going to take some work. But put in the work and show your spouse your commitment, and she will mirror the change you make.

In other words, it starts with you first making a move. I’ll show you exactly what you should do to begin the healing process.

1. Improve communication

No more silent treatment. It’s toxic behavior and only escalates the conflict.

To restore the trust and bring back the passion, start by fixing communication. Be respectful, and empathetic. Listen first before you speak.

Make it clear to your wife that you hear her. Her voice isn’t going unheard.

Moreover, it’s important to not avoid those serious topics. In a post by ScienceDaily, the following was mentioned:

“A tendency for one or both spouses to avoid or withdraw from tough conversations could set up married couples for emotional distress”

The key takeaway? Communication is key!

2. Prove your love through actions

Actions carry more weight than words.

Your actions are telling of the love you have for your partner. So, show your commitment through positive deeds.

Don’t just say you love your partner. Tell her exactly what you love about her, and show her how much you care through your actions.

Doing something as small as expressing your appreciation, making sacrifices, and buying flowers can make all the difference.

3. Learn to find compromise

you must be willing to make sacrifices for your partner

A relationship is going nowhere without compromise.

You must find a common ground. Refusing to make a compromise to get on the same page could really mean that your marriage is over.

However, wanting to tackle your challenges together and being willing to make sacrifices means you haven’t given up. This is important for finding a solution to overcome any hurdle in your relationship.

4. Consider professional help

Marital issues can simply be too tough to manage on your own. It may take a toll on your mental health and everyday life.

In these instances, the advice of a family therapist or counselor can be invaluable.

Better yet, consider working with a men’s intimacy coach for actionable advice.

The Impact Of Mental Health Issues On Married Life

Mental health issues can cast a long shadow over a marriage.

They can impact both partners’ happiness, satisfaction, and quality of life. In some cases, poor mental health can increase the risk of divorce.

Seeking professional help for mental health concerns can lead to early diagnosis and treatment, ultimately improving the happiness of both partners.

A family therapist or licensed mental health counselor can help

Mental health professionals offer effective treatments and resources. They may also encourage self-compassion.

More importantly, they give you a safe space for you to open up. All of which can have a positive impact on your marriage.

Working with a professional can help you address the following:

  • Anxiety
  • Substance use disorders
  • Impulse control

Minimizing each of these issues could lead to fewer divorces and more healthy marriages.

However, I hate to break it to you, but counseling and therapy don’t always work. I talk about this best in my YouTube video below:


Spotting the signs your marriage is over can feel like trying to do a complicated yoga pose on your first day—awkward and a bit hopeless.

Your conversations might feel like they turn into World War III.

Or you might feel like you’re sharing your bed with a stranger (and not in a fun way).

But these are just signs. The reality is that your love story isn’t over until you 100% give up.

Why? Because you can actually single-handedly fix your marriage.

Yes, it takes inner work and requires a self-transformation. But there’s light at the end of the tunnel. There’s hope.

Even the most tangled earphones can be sorted out with a bit of patience and hard work.

If you want to know how to single-handedly fix your marriage, watch my free marriage training video. It’s the ultimate alternative to traditional therapy and gives you all the essential steps to turn your love life around!

Let’s turn that game over into game on. You got this!


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.


How do I know it’s time to leave my marriage?

If it’s bad enough to affect your happiness to no avail and you’re experiencing domestic violence, consider separation. Still, it’s worth seeking advice from a professional or tantric coach. I suggest doing everything in your power to fix things. If that’s impossible, then it may be time to end things.

What are the stages of marriage breakdown?

Marriage breakdown typically progresses through three stages: romantic love, disillusionment and distraction, and dissolution or adjustment with resignation or contentment.

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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

I am the founder of The Tantric Man Experience™, a pioneering transformational coaching program for men. With over 1500 hours of certified tantra training in India and Thailand and 7 years of experience helping hundreds of men worldwide save their marriages and reignite passion in their love lives.

I have over 8 million views on YouTube and have been featured on VICE and Newstalk Radio for my life’s work - helping men unleash their full masculine potential.

My holistic FLT method seamlessly integrates ancient tantric philosophy with my modern expertise in relationships, sexuality, dating, and men’s health.

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