For any relationship, trust is the most important element to hold things together. Trust underpins the quality of the relationship. It determines the depth to which a relationship can venture. Trust is like glue. When there is a trust issue between a man and a woman, there is very little to hold the relationship together when things get rough.
“We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.” – Walter Anderson.
Table of Contents
- Introduction to building relationship trust
- Where do trust issues in a relationship come from?
- I don’t have trust issues – why should I bother?
- Relationship trust and your sex life
- Trust issues for the single man
- Harnessing the power of ‘trustworthy’
- Work on trust in order to become trustworthy
- 3 steps to becoming more trustworthy
- Conclusion on Trust
Introduction to building relationship trust
Despite this, many couples have trust issues inside of the relationship. Trust issues in a relationship are some of the most common reasons for singles and couples to walk through the door to a therapist’s office all over the world.
Some couples have no trust in the relationship at all. In almost all instances such as these, the relationship will eventually break down and fail.
Perhaps you find it difficult to fully trust in your partner. Maybe they find it difficult to trust you. Perhaps you are not currently in a relationship, but you have experienced the issues that can arise from having no trust or no trust in a relationship in the past. Maybe you recognize how damaging that was. It might be that you want your next relationship to be better – to be different, to have implicit trust.
Implicit trust is a key element of any truly tantric relationship.
When a relationship has this kind of trust that I call implicit trust, there are really no limits as to the depth that the relationship can go to. Anything is possible. You trust one another so deeply that it is never called into question. There are no doubts. For this reason, the possibilities for the shape and form the relationship can take on are endless.
Does reaching this level of implicit trust sound good to you?
In this article, I will explain how to identify trust issues and how to solve them. I will teach you how to attain implicit trust between man and woman.
You will learn how to fully embody the archetype of the trustworthy man. Your relationships will take on a more spiritual essence. Embodying the trustworthy man will open up a whole new world of boundless possibilities for your current or next relationship.
Where do trust issues in a relationship come from?
As human beings, we carry so much emotional baggage surrounding the issue of trust.
Usually this is due to experiences we had as a child. Perhaps we did not receive enough care from our parents or our peers. This taught us to look at the world through a distrusting lens. We unintentionally project experiences from relationships of the past onto relationships in the present. Even if there is a lot of love inside of a relationship, our programming causes us to be distrusting of our partner.
Sometimes the conditioning can go so deep that we subconsciously position ourselves as untrustworthy men. We mirror the behavior we observed in our parents as children. Perhaps we cheat on our partner or tell lies. Maybe we don’t treat them respectfully or act with integrity. In these cases, we are subconsciously choosing to show up as the untrustworthy man. Deep down inside of us, we believe the whole world to be untrustworthy. Hence we behave in a way that reaffirms this as true.
I don’t have trust issues – why should I bother?
Whether you are single or in a relationship, and whether you believe that you have trust issues or not, it is always an area worth looking into.
If you are in a relationship where there is trust and a sense of dependability, good on you. It is, however, still worth working on improving and building trust, until it becomes implicit.
Relationship trust and your sex life
When trust is implicit, your relationship can expand exponentially in all areas. One example of this is your sex life. With implicit trust established, sex can become a sacred act – a divine tool for healing.
A lot of our deepest and darkest desires and fantasies when it comes to the bedroom are just that. They are deep and dark. We have been conditioned for our whole lives to believe our fantasies are shameful.
We love our partner. We care about their opinion of us and don’t want them to look negatively upon us in any way. For this reason, sex in long-term relationships can often become quite ‘vanilla’.
Even when it is plentiful and we make love regularly, sex can become repetitive, boring, and dry. And might be in need to spice things up in the bedroom. Occasionally we might do it doggy style or @n*l when we are really feeling adventurous, but that is where we draw the line.
We have the desire to be dirtier and kinkier than this. Despite a lack of willingness to admit it, we ALL have dark fantasies about the things we want to do.
Most of the time, we just aren’t willing to admit it to our partner. This is due to fear of judgment and shame.
So we suppress it.
Want to become a better lover? Stop suppressing your sexual desires and start owning them instead. Trust your partner to be receptive and non-judging of all of you. This kind of trust inside the bedroom can also help if you are facing any kind of performance anxiety or erectile dysfunction. One of the primary reasons for ED is anxiety about our sexual performance. If we trust our partner enough to know that there will be no shame or judgment regarding our sexual performance, our chances of getting a very strong erection are much higher.
Sexual shame and the big O
In case you aren’t aware – suppression of ANYTHING that we are feeling or thinking is incredibly damaging to the fabrics of a relationship. Suppressing can even lead to your or your partner’s inability to orgasm. The energetic impact is that high.
What to do to make women want to have sex with you?
If you work on improving the level of relationship trust that you have, your sex life can transform and explode.
When there is implicit trust inside of any relationship, it feels like a safe container. Along with this feeling of safety for a woman comes her desire to have a lot more sex.
If you feel your sex life is lacking, you might want to check in about trust issues.
The key takeaway here is this: for a woman to want to have sex, she needs to first feel safe and trust her partner. Her heart and her yoni need to open to you. Without this – she most likely won’t want to have much sex. Even if she obliges to please you and the sex is still plentiful – you will feel her energetic absence.
Trust issues for the single man
Even if you are single, you can still have trust issues.
These may show up in the form of not being considered trustworthy by women. As explained above, this is usually due to a lack of trust deep inside of your own subconscious.
This can block you from attracting a good union with a partner. Trust issues can stop you from having the deep, loving relationship you want.
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Harnessing the power of ‘trustworthy’
When applied correctly, trust and being considered trustworthy can be your secret weapon and your greatest asset.
Are you looking for a soulmate-type connection? If so, you are looking for a woman who is mature. She is past the Tinder phase of her dating life, and looking for real, secure, long-term love. This woman is looking for a man who emulates trustworthiness.
If you want to become more attractive to her, you need her to perceive you as being trustworthy.
When a man radiates trust, he is ten times more attractive to a woman.
Due to their biology, women are naturally more drawn to men who they perceive to be trustworthy. And due to the very forces of nature, they are looking for a long-term mate. Having a trustworthy long-term mate – biologically speaking – will assure that there will be food, shelter, and safety for their offspring.
This is the bottom-line reason why a woman is looking for a trustworthy partner. She is looking for someone who can fulfill her subconscious (or conscious!) need for security.
A trustworthy man makes a woman feel secure and open.
She feels comfortable and able to relax safely into the relationship. When a woman feels safe, the metaphorical ropes come off and she is able to embody her full femininity and feminine essence.
This will make her all the more appealing to you and will increase the polarity. If trust is the glue in the relationship, polarity is the magnet that brings a man and a woman together in the first place.
Work on trust in order to become trustworthy
As explained above, due to our psychology, the reason for being considered ‘untrustworthy’ is often deeply entangled with our own lack of trust in the world around us and in ourselves.
Therefore, working on your own ability to trust yourself and others is the first step to becoming more trustworthy to women and having the relationship of your dreams.
A man who trusts is mature. He is solid, dependable, and reliable. He is fully embodying his divine masculinity and operating from his higher self.
3 steps to becoming more trustworthy
If your partner does not trust you, this should be a giant red flag.
There is no need to panic. When we bring light to something we also bring awareness. We take this awareness and combine it with intention and action to solve the issue.
I have worked with hundreds of men from around the world and helped them to improve their relationship trust. Here are my three top tips for embodying ‘trustworthy’ and resolving trust issues in a relationship:
1) Embrace authenticity
A man who is inauthentic does not trust himself. If he did, he would not be trying to be someone else.
Perhaps he was bullied in school or shamed regularly by his parents.
He is ruled by subconscious desires, tendencies, and patterns. This man holds limiting beliefs about himself and about others. These result in self-sabotaging behaviors such as not being truthful or not treating women with respect.
If you want to become more trustworthy, ask yourself if you are being authentically you in ALL of your interpersonal relationships. And if you are not – ask yourself why. Get to the root of the issue. Shine some light on it. With awareness you can then move through it.
Show up with authenticity and be unapologetically you in all circumstances. This will attract the right kind of woman towards you… The kind of woman who is vibrating on the same frequency and who is the most suitable for you as a partner. Those who are not will simply fall away.
2) Follow through
This one is super simple, but something that not a lot of us actually do all of the time. How many times have you said to someone “I’ll text you later when I’m ready to meet” and then not followed through?
Probably quite often (me too). It’s OK. This is why we shine a light on these things and bring them to the forefront. Through awareness, we can move through patterns and solve them.
It might seem like nothing. We are all human. No one can follow through with their word 100% of the time. Sh*t happens sometimes and we screw up. We can just try to follow through with it 99% of the time, though. Following through is a key element of any yogic or spiritual lifestyle.
Not doing the things we say we will do is unhelpful for any kind of relationship. It is particularly damaging for romantic relationships. If you are having trust issues in a relationship or people don’t trust you, not following through with your word could be a big part of the problem.
3) Learn to like yourself
As I have already explained, we need to learn to trust ourselves before we can become trustworthy to others. The sad fact is that many people have low self-esteem, low confidence and do not truly love themselves.
To work on this, make a hand-written list of all the things that you like about yourself. Don’t just write it once. Write a new list every day with different traits and qualities about yourself.
Perhaps you are particularly proud of how you handled a certain situation on a given day. Or maybe your hair was just looking good!
Over time, a simple, regular, consistent practice like this will improve your confidence and your ability to like and trust yourself.
Conclusion on Trust
When you trust yourself, others will be able to feel, sense, and taste it.
You will step into your divine masculine and become irresistible to the good women – the women who are embodying their divine feminine.
If you are already in a relationship, trusting yourself will enable your woman to trust you more. She will surrender and feel safe. There will be no limits to the direction in which your relationship can go.
Of all the things that I work on with my clients, TRUST is the most important.
Does this article resonate? Do you feel called to go deeper into your work surrounding trust? Perhaps you want to restore the trust in your relationship and bring it back from the brink? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, I highly recommend you try my free training. After all, what do you have to lose?
What is trust in a relationship?
Trust in a relationship is a deep-rooted confidence that your partner has the best interests of the relationship at heart. It is a key factor in any healthy relationship.
How can you build trust in a relationship?
Trust takes time and must be earned through your actions. Hence it cannot be established overnight. Keep acting in ways that demonstrate your love and devotion to your partner. If they do the same then over time you will establish mutual trust.
Why is trust in a relationship important?
Without trust in a relationship you feel like the ground beneath your feet is shaking. Trust is the foundation for any kind of relationship. In order to have a close relationship with anyone, you must have basic trust with them.
Can you rebuild trust in relationships
You can rebuild trust in relationships through acceptance of error and then changed behavior. If there has been infidelity or cheating, you may want to go to a relationship expert or couples counseling. Proper guidance may be necessary in order to reestablish trust with your spouse.
What causes trust issues in a relationship?
Trust issues can arise from many different things. If one partner has been cheated on previously, they may bring trust issues into their new relationship. Jealousy can also cause trust issues to arise. If one partner has been caught lying or cheating, this can also cause trust issues to develop.
How do you know if you fully trust your partner?
When you fully trust your partner, you never doubt them. You know in your heart that they have the best interest of your relationship at the center of everything they do. If your (male) partner is spending time with a (female) friend of theirs, your mind does not wander to thoughts, ideas, or suspicions about them cheating.
How do you go about building trust in both your professional and personal relationships?
Effective communication goes a long way. Remain honest about everything that you are thinking, feeling, and experiencing. This way you can build a deeper connection with friends, colleagues, and partners. One simple way to build trust is to do the things you say you will do. For example, if your partner asks you to stop watching porn, stop watching it. This is called following through.
What is active constructive responding?
A key part of effective communication within an interpersonal relationship is ACR. ACR is when there is a positive response to the sharing of good experiences or information. When it happens, both people in the conversation receive a boost!
How do you learn to trust someone?
Developing trust with a new person happens over time. If you have been hurt or betrayed in the past this can be difficult. You must establish mutual respect by recognizing this person as an individual. That is to say that they are different to the other (or others) who betrayed you in the past. In order to establish deep trust in your current relationship, you may need to accept that we are all human and we all make mistakes. Therefore accepting that in actual fact nobody is 100% trustworthy, and that is OK. In fact it makes them more trustworthy.
What is relationship anxiety, how to recognize and deal with it?
Relationship anxiety is a common but not normal part of any interpersonal relationship. It comes about when we are uncertain of our partner’s motives, intentions or actions. In order to truly deal with relationship anxiety, you need to cultivate a strong sense of self-love and self-respect. Effective communication with your partner can also go a long way. But try not to make them feel accused or demonized by your insecurities. This will only drive them further away.
What if you have previous mistrust experiences?
If broken trust inside a previous relationship is impacting your relationship with a new partner, you need to recognize your new partner as exactly that… A new person. If we allow our traumas and past experiences to haunt us, we end up punishing our new partners for past lovers’ behavior. This is not fair. Consulting a relationship coach can help when trust issues are extreme.
Can you rebuild trust in a relationship after it's broken?
Rebuilding trust is not easy and it takes time. But it can be done through honesty, effective communication and changed behavior. The impact of a sincere apology also cannot be underestimated.
What if you have been hurt in the past?
We have all been hurt in the past. The key is to learn from our past hurts rather than fall victim to them. If we have been in a toxic relationship or victim to infidelity, we can use these experiences to ensure that they do not happen again.
You cheated and were caught, now what?
Been caught cheating inside of a committed relationship? Firstly, accept your wrongdoing for the betrayal. Give a sincere apology. Talk with your partner about whatever negative feelings they are having towards you. If they are angry, hold space for that. And if they are sad, hold space for that. It is your duty to accept the deep hurt you have caused. If you can do this, your partner will be more likely to want to rebuild the broken trust. The key to any successful relationship is communication. Be sure to talk about the incident so that it can be spoken about and eventually healed. Accept that there may be relationship trust issues ahead and demonstrate your willingness to move through them.
Why should I bother building trust?
Trust is key inside of a romantic relationship. Without it, there is no solid ground for the relationship to stand on. To create a trusting relationship, practice effective communication and healthy boundaries.
How do you repair broken trust inside of a marriage?
Sit with your partner. Together, cast your minds back to your wedding day. Discuss the thoughts, feelings, emotions and the LOVE that you shared on that day. Recognize the significance of the lifelong commitment you made to each other on that day. Make an agreement to build trust through healthy communication, changed behavior and a shared commitment to the future of the relationship.
How do you build trust in a long distance relationship when you have been cheated on in the past?
To build trust inside of a long distance relationship can be tricky, especially when you carry baggage from previous infidelity. Similarly to building trust after betrayal in any other relationship, recognize your new partner as an individual. They are a different person to the past partner who cheated on you. You need to implicitly trust them or the relationship will stand no chance of achieving emotional intimacy.
Men's Relationship Coach
Steffo is the founder of The Tantric Man Experience, the #1 masculine mentorship program in the world. There he helps men in relationships reignite the passion to restore their marriages from the brink of divorce. And single men attract their dream women naturally with success. He's on a mission to guide men towards an intimate and meaningful relationship, and end the war with their sexuality, so they can finally become integrated men, fathers, brothers, husbands, and leaders in the world.
“It meant a paradigm shift in life.” – Patrik, Sweden
“Life-changing experience.” – Antonio, Italy