How To Build Relationship Trust With Women: Become A Trustworthy Man
For any relationship, trust is the most important element to hold things together. Trust underpins the quality of the relationship. It determines the depth to which a relationship can venture. Trust is like glue. Without trust between a man and a woman, there is very little to hold the relationship together when things get rough.
“We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.” – Walter Anderson.
Table of Contents
- Introduction to building relationship trust
- Where do trust issues in a relationship come from?
- I don’t have trust issues – why should I bother?
- Relationship trust and your sex life
- Trust issues for the single man
- Harnessing the power of ‘trustworthy’
- Work on trust in order to become trustworthy
- 3 steps to becoming more trustworthy
- Conclusion on Trust
Introduction to building relationship trust
Despite this, many couples have trust issues inside of the relationship. Trust issues in a relationship are some of the most common reasons for singles and couples to walk through the door to a therapist’s office all over the world.
Some couples have no trust in the relationship at all. In almost all instances such as these, the relationship will eventually break down and fail.
Perhaps you find it difficult to fully trust in your partner. Maybe they find it difficult to trust you. Perhaps you are not currently in a relationship but you have experienced the issues that can arise from having no trust or no trust in a relationship in the past. And maybe you recognize how damaging that was. It might be that you want your next relationship to be better, to be different, to have implicit trust.
When a relationship has this kind of trust that I call implicit trust, there are really no limits as to the depth that the relationship can go to. Anything is possible. You trust one another so deeply that it is never called into question. There are no doubts. For this reason, the possibilities for the shape and form the relationship can take on are endless.
Does reaching this level of implicit trust sound good to you?
In this article, I will explain how to identify trust issues, how to solve them, and how to reach this level of implicit trust between man and woman. You will learn how to fully embody the archetype of the trustworthy man. Embodying the trustworthy man will open up a whole new world of boundless possibilities for your current or next relationship.
Where do trust issues in a relationship come from?
As human beings, we carry so much emotional baggage surrounding the issue of trust.
Usually, this is due to experiences we had as a child. Perhaps we did not receive enough care, attention, or acceptance from our parents or from our peers. This taught us to look at the world through a distrusting lens. We unintentionally project experiences from relationships of the past onto relationships in the present. Even if there is a lot of love inside of a relationship, our programming causes us to be distrusting of our partner.
Sometimes, the conditioning can go so deep that we subconsciously position ourselves as untrustworthy men. We mirror the behavior we observed in our parents as children. Perhaps we cheat on our partner or tell lies. Maybe we don’t treat them respectfully or act with integrity. In these cases, we are subconsciously choosing to show up as the untrustworthy man. Deep down inside of us, we believe the whole world to be untrustworthy, so we behave in a way that reaffirms that as true.
I don’t have trust issues – why should I bother?
Whether you are single or in a relationship and whether you believe that you have trust issues or not, it is always an area worth looking into.
If you are in a relationship where there is trust and a sense of dependability, good on you. It is, however, still worth working on improving and building trust, until it becomes implicit.
Relationship trust and your sex life
When trust is implicit, your relationship can expand exponentially in all areas. One example of this is your sex life.
A lot of our deepest and darkest desires and fantasies when it comes to the bedroom are just that – deep and dark. We love our partner. We care about their opinion of us and don’t want them to look negatively upon us in any way. For this reason, sex in long-term relationships can often become quite ‘vanilla’.
Even when it is plentiful and we make love regularly, sex can become repetitive, boring, and dry. Occasionally we might do it doggy style or @n*l when we are really feeling adventurous, but that is where we draw the line.
We have the desire to be dirtier and kinkier than this. Despite a lack of willingness to admit it, we ALL have dark fantasies about the things we want to do or the things we want to have done to us.
Most of the time, we just aren’t willing to admit it to our partner for fear of judgment or due to shame. So we suppress it.
In case you aren’t aware – suppression of ANYTHING that we are feeling or thinking is incredibly damaging to the fabrics of a relationship.
What to do to make women want to have sex with you?
If you work on improving the level of relationship trust that you have, or solving the trust issues within your relationship, your sex life can completely transform and explode.
When there is implicit trust inside of your relationship, it feels like a safe container. Along with this feeling of safety for a woman comes her desire to have a lot more sex. If you feel your sex life is lacking, you might want to check in about trust issues. The key takeaway here is this: for a woman to want to have sex, she needs to first feel safe and trust her partner. Without this – she most likely won’t like to have sex.
Trust issues for the single man
Even if you are not currently in a relationship, you can still have trust issues.
These may show up in the form of not being considered trustworthy by women. As explained above, this is usually due to a lack of trust deep inside of your own subconscious.
This can block you from attracting a good union with a partner and having the deep, loving relationship that you are looking for.
Harnessing the power of ‘trustworthy’
When applied correctly, trust and being considered trustworthy can be your secret weapon and your greatest asset.
Are you looking for a soulmate-type connection? If so, you are looking for a woman who is mature, past the Tinder phase of her dating life, and looking for real, secure, long-term love. This woman is looking for a man who emulates trustworthiness.
If you want to become more attractive to her, you need her to perceive you as being trustworthy.
When a man radiates trust, he is ten times more attractive to a woman. Due to their biology, women are naturally more drawn to men who they perceive to be trustworthy. And due to the very forces of nature, they are looking for a long-term mate. Having a trustworthy long-term mate – biologically speaking – will assure that there will be food, shelter, and safety for their offspring.
This is the bottom-line reason why a woman is looking for a trustworthy partner. She is looking for someone who can fulfill her subconscious (or conscious!) need for security.
A trustworthy man makes a woman feel secure. She feels comfortable and able to relax safely into the relationship. When a woman feels safe, the metaphorical ropes come off and she is able to embody her full femininity and feminine essence. This will make her all the more appealing to you and will increase the polarity. If trust is the glue in the relationship, polarity is the magnet that brings a man and a woman together in the first place.
Work on trust in order to become trustworthy
As explained above, due to our psychology, the reason for being considered ‘untrustworthy’ is often deeply entangled with our own lack of trust in the world around us and in ourselves.
Therefore, working on your own ability to trust yourself and others is the first step to becoming more trustworthy to women and having the relationship of your dreams.
A man who trusts is mature. He is solid, dependable, and reliable. He is fully embodying his divine masculinity and operating from his higher self.
3 steps to becoming more trustworthy
If your partner does not trust you, this should be a giant red flag.
There is no need to panic. When we bring light to something we also bring awareness. When we maintain this awareness and combine it with intention and action, we can solve it.
I have worked with hundreds of men from around the world and helped them to improve their relationship trust. Here are my three top tips for embodying ‘trustworthy’ and resolving trust issues in a relationship:
1) Embrace authenticity
A man who is inauthentic does not trust himself. If he did, he would not be trying to be someone else.
Perhaps he was bullied in school or shamed regularly by his parents.
He is ruled by subconscious desires, tendencies, and patterns. He holds limiting beliefs about himself and about others. These result in self-sabotaging behaviors such as not being truthful or not treating women with respect.
If you want to become more trustworthy, ask yourself if you are being authentically you in ALL of your interpersonal relationships. If you are not – ask yourself why. Get to the root of the issue. Shine some light on it. With awareness, you can then move through it.
Show up with authenticity and be unapologetically you in all circumstances. This will attract the right kind of women towards you. This will attract the kind of women who are vibrating on the same frequency as you and who therefore are the most suitable for you as a partner. Those who are not will simply fall away.
2) Follow through
This one is super simple, but something that not a lot of us actually do all of the time. How many times have you said to someone “I’ll text you later when I’m ready to meet” and then not followed through?
Probably quite often (me too). This is OK. This is why we shine a light on these things and bring them to the forefront. Through awareness, we can move through patterns and solve them.
It might seem like nothing. We are all human. We can’t follow through with our word 100% of the time. We can try to follow through with it 99% of the time, though.
Not doing the things we say we will do is unhelpful for any kind of relationship, particularly romantic relationships. If you are having trust issues in a relationship or people don’t trust you, not following through with your word could be a big part of the problem.
3) Learn to like yourself
As I have already explained, we need to learn to trust ourselves before we can become trustworthy to others. The sad fact is that many people have low self-esteem, low confidence, and do not truly love themselves.
To work on this, make a hand-written list of all the things that you like about yourself. Don’t just write it once. Write a new list every day with different traits and qualities about yourself.
Perhaps you are particularly proud of how you handled a certain situation on a given day. Perhaps your hair was just looking good!
Over time, a simple, regular, consistent practice like this will improve your self-esteem and your ability to like and trust yourself.
Conclusion on Trust
When you trust yourself, others will be able to feel, sense, and taste it.
You will step into your divine masculine and become irresistible to the good women – the women who are embodying their divine feminine.
If you are already in a relationship, trusting yourself will enable your woman to trust you more. She will surrender and feel safe. There will be no limits to the direction in which your relationship can go.
Of all the things that I work on with my clients, TRUST is the most important.
Does this article resonate? Do you feel called to go deeper into your work surrounding trust? Perhaps you want to restore the trust in your relationship and bring it back from the brink? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, I highly recommend you try my free training. After all, what do you have to lose?
Mentor at Tantric Academy
Steffo Shambo is the founder of The Tantric Man Experience. His specialty is to empower men to realize their full masculine confidence, intimate power, and depth of connection to their partner. He has helped hundreds of men from all around the world to master their sexuality and masculine essence to save their marriage or attract their soulmate relationship. All while staying completely true to themselves.