Commitment 101: Men With Commitment Issues

Steffo Shambo

Many people ask themselves the question, “Why is it so hard for men to commit?” The answer may surprise you. It turns out that there are a lot of things playing into this issue. From biological factors to social pressures, there are multiple reasons why commitment can be difficult for some people. In this article, you shall see:

  • The many different aspects that commit a challenge for some individuals 
  • How you can help them get over those hurdles with your partner
  • Ways of overcoming commitment issues

What does it mean to have commitment issues? 

When people say, “I have commitment issues,” they refer to the difficulty a person is having in settling down. This situation can also be emotional unavailability or fear of intimacy. If you are struggling with commitment, it is essential to understand the reasons behind your difficulties. Most men with commitment issues hardly even know the depth of the problem. They are known as commitment-phobic men.

Signs that you have commitment issues

You’re constantly looking for reassurance from your partner that you are loved: This one is a common sign of commitment issues, and it can be in both men and women. If this is something you notice about yourself or someone else, it may mean that they aren’t sure if their partner will stay with them.

You often feel like you don’t have a partner. This is another sign of commitment issues; this one is more common in men than women. It’s important to note that feeling as though your relationship isn’t going anywhere doesn’t automatically mean commitment problems. Still, if it happens regularly, then it may be worth exploring.

You don’t feel comfortable talking to your partner about personal things: This one is a sign of commitment issues in men. If you find that it’s difficult for you to open up even when faced with something as simple as what TV show you want to watch, then there may be some underlying fear or insecurity getting in the way.


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What causes commitment issues?

Commitment Issues can arise from any number of causes, and it is a good idea to understand the different types. There are two main categories: fear-based commitment issues or challenge-based commitment issues.

Fear-Based Commitment Issues – Fear may be from experience with an individual or previous relationships. This type of fear is rooted in fear of rejection or abandonment. In addition, these fears may be concerns about commitment, including doubts that the person can maintain a relationship and even an unwillingness to make a long-term commitment.

Challenge-Based Commitment Issues – Challenge issues arise from the individual’s need for novelty and stimulation or boredom with life. This type of commitment issue is rooted in the individual’s need for a new challenge or to do something different. You may manifest these challenges by refusing marriage, homeownership, and other long-term commitments because they are not attractive enough.

How do commitment issues affect your partner?

It is understandable that if a man has commitment issues, there can be consequences for the relationship. Commitment issues can cause a man to be less invested in the relationship, making him more likely to cheat and put his time into other things instead of their partner.

Men who have commitment issues may get bored quickly with relationships because they are afraid that when they get close, their partner will leave as soon as they want something serious, or they’ll break up. Commitment issues can also cause a man to become unavailable or distant because he doesn’t want the responsibility of being close and intimate with his partner, so he pushes her away.

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How to get over commitment issues

The first step is to identify the root cause of your commitment issues. There are many different reasons why men may have trouble committing, so it’s essential to determine the cause of your own and work on that.

The next step is to take responsibility for your feelings. It’s easy to blame others for our shortcomings, but the truth is that everyone is 100% responsible for their thoughts and actions. You can’t change how someone else behaves – you’re only in control of yourself. You should also try to seek guidance, for example, you can attend free training from the best counselors.

Lastly, give yourself time and space away from relationships to create a fulfilling and successful life. Dating can be fun, but it’s more important to have your dreams, so you’re not constantly chasing someone else’s happiness.


It’s a lesson discussed for centuries, and this essay has just scratched the surface. Men need to be aware of their commitment bias to make better decisions about where their relationship is going. The best way forward might not look like what you expect it to – but at least now you know why!

If you want to learn how to overcome commitment issues so you can save your marriage or manifest your dream relationship, watch my free training here.



Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Relationship Coach

Steffo is the founder of The Tantric Man Experience, the #1 masculine mentorship program in the world. There he helps men in relationships reignite the passion to restore their marriages from the brink of divorce. And single men attract their dream women naturally with success. He's on a mission to guide men towards an intimate and meaningful relationship, and end the war with their sexuality, so they can finally become integrated men, fathers, brothers, husbands, and leaders in the world.

“It meant a paradigm shift in life.” – Patrik, Sweden
“Life-changing experience.” – Antonio, Italy

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