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What Happens To A Man After Sex? 5 Natural Body Responses

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Apr 11, 2024
what happens to a man after sex

Is it normal for men to morph into cuddle mode or instantly hit the snooze button after sex?

He’s either lying there transformed into a passionate lover, thinking and talking about the meaning of life. Telling you his dreams and goals and discussing the mysteries of the universe.

Or maybe he’s lying there thinking about what’s in the fridge before drifting to sleep.

Either outcome is quite common for the average Joe. It’s just what happens to a man after sex because of his natural body responses.

In this article, I’m spilling all the beans on what happens after sex to a man.

If you’re asking yourself, “How do men feel after sex” you’ll find all your answers here. So hold onto your hats because this revelation might just be the final puzzle you’ve been searching for.

What Makes Men And Women Different After Sexual Intercourse?

Men’s and women’s bodies are completely different, especially when looking at sexual function. The same can be said when looking at how their bodies respond after sex.

When males reach climax, they naturally feel drained. For us men, we’ve just completed our biological purpose as a man: to release sperm to procreate. Once our purpose is fulfilled, we instinctively feel drained because we exert our life energy.

Now, it’s different for a woman.

After reaching climax, women typically desire cuddles and more intimate moments. Unlike men, their biological purpose is to nurture families. Therefore, even after her orgasms, she’ll still have the energy to engage in sexual or intimate activities.

According to NCBI’s findings on the postcoital symptoms for men and women, they revealed the following:

“The most common symptoms in women were mood swings and sadness, whereas in men, it was unhappiness and low energy.”

The difference in a man’s and woman’s hormones influence post-sex affection and behaviors.

Are men and women the same when it comes to sexual intimacy?

men and women have intrinsically different mindsets

Both genders find sexual intimacy extremely pleasurable. Men end up blowing their load, while women can end up with their legs shaking like an electric spasm.

Men’s hearts race, blood pressure soars, and muscles tense during sex. And let’s not forget those achy, breaky pelvic muscles afterward. All that leads to men often feeling drained.

Female bodies have their own set of quirks, like the ability to experience multiple orgasms (lucky ladies!).

That said, you can probably see why women hate it when you immediately fall asleep right after f*cking. She wants to spend more time with you, yet you’re throwing that opportunity away!

I know, it’s not intentional. Still, being aware of this can help you become better at satisfying her in bed. Moreover, making an effort to stay up for those intimate moments gives you the chance to develop a deeper connection with her.

All jokes aside, men and women have different perspectives on sexual intimacy.

Men are awfully simple creatures. A man could be lying down in bed next to his woman, thinking about something like:

  • Good sex
  • Physical connection
  • What to have as a snack

In contrast, a woman may be lying down in bed next to her man, thinking about something like:

  • Cute and wholesome moments
  • Emotional connection
  • How happy she is with her man

Men are logical. Women are emotional. This is the inherent nature of both genders, hence causing them to think differently when it comes to intimacy.


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What Do Men Tend To Do Right After Sexual Intercourse?

Men’s post-sex behaviors can be as diverse as the Kama Sutra, depending on the nature of their relationship.

That said, there are two types of people to have sex with:

  • Casual partners
  • Committed partners

Casual sex encounters would place emphasis on physical satisfaction. Committed relationships would have more emphasis on emotional connection and intimacy.

However, the body usually tends to respond the same after sexual intercourse. Some men may feel sleepy and crave some “me time.” Others might want to snuggle up and chat about their hopes and dreams.

What men usually do after sex with a casual partner

Men’s post-sex behavior can be quite unpredictable depending on the guy.

Some might get emotional and start reflecting on their goals. Others may focus solely on physical satisfaction and aim purely for physical pleasure. The latter is more common since the level of emotional attachment is less prominent in casual f*ck buddies.

What men usually do after sex in committed relationships

In committed relationships, men may prioritize a bit of a snuggle after sex. Still, they may respond physically, like after a casual hookup: naturally wanting to fall asleep.

It has nothing to do with not being satisfied with his partner but because of a man’s natural bodily response to ejaculating.

When a man ejaculates, all tension is released. Therefore, he feels his purpose is fulfilled and can now rest. But unlike a casual partner, there is often more emotional intimacy involved with some pillow talk and cuddling.

pillow talk is a great opportunity for building intimacy

The 4 Phases Of Sex For A Man

We’ll take a moment to understand the exact 4-step process that a man goes through before, during, and after sex. These 4 phases include the following:

  • Excitement
  • Plateau
  • Orgasm
  • Resolution

From the initial sexually aroused state to the oh-so-satisfying climax, a man’s body is a rollercoaster of hormonal and physiological events.

The excitement phase

The excitement phase is all about arousal and awakening little Johnny downstairs.

When a man is turned on and aroused, his heart rate and penis blood flow increase. As more blood circulates, the penis becomes hard as a rock. Once he gets a full erection, he’s ready to take action and is now on standby.

sexual arousal increases a man heart rate and penis blood flow

The plateau phase

The plateau phase is where you reach a point of stability. This is at the point where everything remains constant, and you’re in a consistent flow.

Allow me to be a bit more specific:

  • Hormone levels and blood flow remain constant. They create a steady state of arousal and gradually increase.
  • The party keeps going in the pelvic region, with muscles at their peak tension.
  • You can think of this phase as the calm before the storm. The tension slowly increases, and the body prepares itself for the grand finale.

To switch things up and keep it spicy, you can always switch to a new sex position. Another way is to increase penis sensitivity so the sexual experience is even more pleasurable.

the plateau stage is where men are working their way to reach climax

The orgasm phase

The male orgasm stage is like a fireworks show for both the penis and a man’s involuntary muscles. This is where your heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing all reach their peak.

Your penis experiences timed contractions at its base, resulting in the grand spectacle of ejaculation. This phase is the ultimate expression of pleasure and the climax of the sexual experience.

men reach ejaculation at the orgasm phase

The resolution phase

This is where the fireworks finish. Once you’ve finished up, that’s where the resolution phase begins. Post-ejaculation is marked by the following:

  • Relaxation
  • Decrease in heart rate
  • The beginning of the refractory period

During this time, the body reverts to its pre-arousal state. Therefore, the penis begins to soften up and goes back into hiding. And your testicles will shrink back to their usual size.

a man penis and testicles go back to its normal size after an orgasm

What Happens To A Man After Sex: The Physical Body Responses

It’s time to dive into a bit more of the scientific details behind the male body after sex.

Following the climax, a man’s body experiences several physical responses, such as the following:

  • Sleepiness
  • Blood flow reduction
  • Muscle relaxation

Some men may revel in the afterglow. But others may feel slightly drowsy or tired. And then the other population of men will go straight to drooling and dozing off to sleep.

However, all of this applies when we’re talking about the usual orgasm. It’s more intense when we’re talking about experiencing multiple energy orgasms. But that’s a whole other topic that only the top male population has ever experienced.

If energy orgasms are a topic you can’t help but want to know about right now, watch my YouTube video on the science behind it below:

1. Prolactin causes post-sex sleepiness

One of the factors that contribute to post-sex sleepiness in men is the release of prolactin.

It’s also been shown that more prolactin is released after sexual intercourse than masturbation. The following was stated in a report by NCBI:

“The post-orgasmic prolactin increase following intercourse is greater than following masturbation.”

Prolactin is a hormone that plays a role in decreasing testosterone and arousal. This outcome can also result in men feeling relaxed and ready for a snooze once the sex is over.

2. Blood flow reduction

After sex, blood pressure drops around the penis and eventually returns to normal levels. That’s why your d*ck naturally returns to its usual size and goes into hiding after you c*m.

You can think of it as an “all clear” signal. After reaching an orgasm, a gentle wave sweeps over the body and clears away all the residual tension.

3. Muscular relaxation

When the tension has subsided, the muscles relax. The body is enveloped in a feeling of total relaxation. This brings a sense of tranquility not just to your body but also to the mind.

And that’s why you might often find a man beginning to talk about his goals. Before sex, his mind is full of fog. He could be thinking about lots of different things. But once he orgasms, all of that fog is cleared.


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The Chemical Changes: How Do Men Feel After Sex?

Besides the physical responses, there are also chemical changes that occur in the body. More specifically, I’m talking about the release of oxytocin and serotonin. Both of these play a role in how intimately a man acts after sexual intercourse.

4. Oxytocin, the “love hormone”

Oxytocin is released during any sexual stimulation.

Whether it’s a tantric blowjob or a handjob, oxytocin is released because of the pleasurable feeling. This is also what promotes a sense of trust and closeness between two romantically involved partners.

For men, oxytocin can create a warm cozy feeling. Hence, making the sexual experience even more pleasurable by factoring in the emotional aspects.

5. Serotonin’s soothing effect

In a nutshell, here’s the effect of serotonin as best summarized in the following statement in a report published by NCBI:

“Serotonin appears to be a key inhibitory modulator of sexual desire, because it decreases the ability of excitatory systems to be activated by sexual cues.”

On that note, serotonin creates what we can describe as a soothing effect. As it reduces our excitement and sexual arousal, you could also imagine it as a warm, gentle hug. This boosts our overall well-being.

After an intense sexual encounter, both partners get to enjoy a state of clarity where they can both think more clearly. The feel-good chemical of serotonin helps bring inner peace and calm, even for just a few moments.

The Refractory Period For Men Post-climax

the refractory period is different for men and women

The refractory period is the time between a man’s orgasm and the body’s recovery.

When the male body’s sexual functions have recovered after sex, it means he’s ready for round two. So, bring on the second round of f*cking, where you and your woman can lust it all out in a fiery passion!

Now, that might sound pretty promising at first glance. The reality is that it’s not as simple as immediately going into round two right after your body has recovered.

Wondering why? Well, it’s because the recovery time varies among men.

Some men have a short recovery time, allowing them to dive into round two and make their woman orgasm even more.

On the other hand, there are men who take more than just a few seconds or minutes to charge up. Some men need a few hours or even days to recharge. There are several reasons for this, but it mostly boils down to sexual health and well-being.

If you’re the type of man struggling with sexual performance issues, then this is no news to you.

But it doesn’t have to always be like that because there are ways to reduce your recovery time.

In fact, multi-orgasmic men who are part of the top male population are able to get back into it with minimal recovery time.

Besides practicing tantra, you can improve your sexual function by prioritizing your health. This means having a balanced diet, exercising regularly, and minimizing stress levels.

Testicular behavior

During the refractory period, a man’s testicles may decrease in size as the body recovers to prepare for another round. This is a natural part of the sexual response cycle for men. It’s also influenced by factors such as age and individual lifestyles.

For instance, young males will likely have more sperm released than older males since their libido is closer to its peak level.

And that’s one of the greatest things about being a woman in the bedroom.

Unlike men, women can orgasm multiple times in rapid succession back-to-back. Oppositely, a man’s orgasm builds up into one big load that they release in a single go.

If you came before your woman and you’re feeling disappointed to be waiting on the sidelines, don’t worry. You can get back into the game once your penis is ready.

Or better yet, use our sex tips to spice things up rather than going AFK.

Erection level and blood flow

During sexual arousal, your d*ck quickly grows in size and thickness. The blood around your sexual function is pumping and ready to go.

But during the refractory period, it’s the exact opposite.

After sex, your boner would begin to shrivel up and go soft as blood flow decreases. This is a normal response for the male body.

Is It Possible For Men To Reduce The Refractory Period?

100%. There are ways for men to reduce the refractory period to increase intimacy and fun in the bedroom.

The most effective way is to master your sexual energy. Other tantric techniques that help you reduce the refractory period include the following:

And more.

reducing the refractory period is of no concern for a tantric man

Besides that, you can work on naturally boosting your testosterone for a stronger sex drive. Staying in good shape and having healthier meals will also help.

But I have to admit. There is a particular exercise that I would suggest for better sexual stamina and that’s kegel exercises.

What Happens After Sex To A Man In Terms Of Mental State?

We’ll now take a closer look at the psychological perspective of post-sex behavior. If you’re wondering what a man’s mental state looks like after sexual intimacy, look no further.

In summary, a man’s mood leans into feelings of bliss or blues. This is also influenced by multiple factors, including the following:

  • Childhood and personal background
  • Individual preferences
  • Mental health
  • Relationship dynamics

The feelings of bliss or blues

One group of men may get into their “feels.” This includes emotions of sadness, guilt, or even shame.

Another group of men can get into feelings of “happiness.” Often, they’re thinking about their goals or how content they are with their lives overall.

In either scenario, what tends to happen is that men are prone to losing themselves in thought. This is why you might find a man spacing out in the middle of a conversation after having good sex.

Is The Male Body Response After Sexual Intercourse The Same For All Types Of Sex?

Generally speaking, yes. But again, it depends on the individual.

For example, some men may not feel as sleepy from a blowjob because this doesn’t require as much sexual stamina. The same could be inferred for female bodily responses as receiving oral sex wouldn’t require as much energy compared to pounding each other.

If we’re talking about anal sex, your body may still elicit the same response after you experience an intense orgasm. Why? Because you’re still using up more of your sexual stamina.

Are you struggling to stay up regardless of the sexual activity? It’s worth practicing with a realistic Fleshlight to get yourself in good sexual shape!  

How To Speed Up The Male Body’s Sexual Healing Process

tantric men have more sexual power compared to the average man

The first and most effective way to prevent experiencing the refractory period in the first place is to have full control over your sexual desires.

In other words, knowing how to transmute your sexual energy. This is a skill that all men must master because it unlocks the path of sexual mastery, where you’re able to dominate the bedroom completely.

And that’s why tantric men have more sexual power compared to the average man: they’re in total control of their impulses.

Having the ability to last as long as you want in bed eliminates the need to worry about reducing the refractory period.

Not sure where to start? I suggest checking out my free training on ejaculation control here.

How Both The Penis And Vagina Are Different When It Comes To Sexual Fulfillment

We’ve made it clear that men’s and women’s bodies react differently after sex. However, they also have different perceptions when talking about sexual fulfillment.

Men tend to orgasm only once during sex. Women can orgasm multiple times. Both men and women may feel sexually fulfilled once they reach climax.

However, most women prefer to experience multiple orgasms and can still feel horny even after their man busts. Men, on the other hand, typically want to relax after orgasm. So, that desire their woman feels for wanting another vaginal orgasm may not always be fulfilled.

Now, you don’t need a huge d*ck with a healthy blood flow to satisfy a woman. Sure, the latter is important. But size isn’t the most important factor.

Side Note: Still curious about how to grow your penis size naturally? Try adding jelqing to your list of potential strategies.

When looking at both men and women in a romantic relationship, the common factor is emotional intimacy. But the better you can perform in bed for your woman, the deeper the intimacy and spiritual connection can go.

a man biological purpose in life is to procreate

Conclusion

Understanding what happens to a man after sex is not just about solving a biological puzzle. At the end of the day, it comes down to the type of man you are.

The average guy with no sexual mastery will either find himself dozing off to sleep or getting back to work. However, a tantric man who’s mastered his sexual energy will be able to make love for as long as he wants and build intimacy with his partner on a spiritual level.

No, tantric men don’t belong in a fantasy world. I’m talking about real life.

There are multi-orgasmic men out there who don’t just roll over and start snoring.

You can become part of that elite group of men that has the ability to last in bed for hours or even the entire night.

Does that sound like you, and do you want to be one of the top 1% of the male population with full sexual control? Then watch my free tantric relationship training to get all the foundational tools you need to unlock your full masculine potential.

You don’t have to end up in the typical aftermath once the sex is over. It’s entirely up to you whether you want to be able to ride her orgasm for longer and develop a spiritual connection.  

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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

I am the founder of The Tantric Man Experience™, a pioneering transformational coaching program for men. With over 1500 hours of certified tantra training in India and Thailand and 7 years of experience helping hundreds of men worldwide save their marriages and reignite passion in their love lives.

I have over 8 million views on YouTube and have been featured on VICE and Newstalk Radio for my life’s work - helping men unleash their full masculine potential.

My holistic FLT method seamlessly integrates ancient tantric philosophy with my modern expertise in relationships, sexuality, dating, and men’s health.

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