The Way Of The Superior Man Summary: Best 9 Book Ideas

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Apr 10, 2024
The Way Of The Superior Man Summary

In The Way of the Superior Man summary, we will show you how to use this enlightened sex manual to change all aspects of your life.

So, if you’re looking for a wishy-washy guidebook on how to be more masculine — don’t read this article.

David Deida is an author and expert on sexual spirituality and offers straightforward advice and a step-by-step approach to owning your purpose and creating the sex life of your dreams.

By reading this ultimate book summary, you’ll have all the knowledge within the book and save yourself time. As Deida says himself, a moment waited is a moment wasted, so let’s dive straight in.

Leonardo Da Vinci Renaissance

Image courtesy of Luc Viatour

You could read ten books on how to find your true purpose as a man — but this one is the OG.

And even better, we’ll give you the ultimate summary so you can discover all of the valuable knowledge in this article!

Here is our The Way of the Superior Man review and summary:

What are the best ideas in The Way of the Superior Man?

Here are the best 9 ideas in The Way of the Superior Man book:

1. How to own your purpose

compass on yellow background with sticky note written purpose

Many men assume that one day they will finally have the time, energy, and resources to live out the life of their dreams.

You need to be hungry to fulfill your purpose in life.

Like a predator, that impulse needs to drive you to make your purpose the highest priority in your life. Being in the world in this way takes the focus out of people pleasing or being Mr. Nice Guy and catapults you into the role of the firm, irresistible masculine.

Author David Deida guides men to think about dominating their world as they would during sex: ​​

”The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth.”

The book forces men to start living with an open heart as it’s the only way to hold onto your deepest realization. Getting distracted and bogged down by tasks, chores, and keeping everyone happy will only lead to a life of stifling suffocation and playing small.

2. Dealing with women

woman dating an inflatable man
  • Praise magnifies — so compliment your woman freely and sincerely. For example, “I love how your eyes gleam when you’re excited.” Her sparkle will only amplify over time. Caring and cultivating her feminine energy happens through sincere praise.
  • Open her heart — tolerate her bad moods at your peril. Instead, sink into her feelings and let her feel your love. Women unconsciously feel attracted to men who can meet their emotions during turbulence and help them land back in their center, putting a cease to unending emotional drama.
  • Underanalyze your feminine woman —  one of the most remarkable feminine qualities is their tender ability to love. Woman’s moods are more dependent on how often you physically express love throughout the day than whatever logic you’re trying to spin on why they are unhappy or upset. So forget about reason and focus on vital feminine energy within her through love.

3. Working with polarity and energy

man lifting the woman for lovemaking

Masculine and feminine energies are the poles that create sexual tension. If both partners inhabit the same poles ALL OF THE TIME — attraction flies out the window.

Here’s how to stay in your masculine, which naturally guides your woman into her feminine:

  1. Know what is truly important in a woman — it’s unhealthy to want your partner to be your everything.
    They are not your business partner, counselor, housekeeper, or financial advisor. Instead, a woman is your haven from the world. The very feminine woman is the harbor where you can escape to feel connection, pleasure, and love and exist entirely in the present moment.
  2. Notice the thrill — the next time you feel your temperature rising by a woman or partner, relax into the rush.
    Invite yourself into your masculine energy by breathing fully and touching into the joy of the feminine.
  3. Sustain pleasure —  learn to circulate desire throughout your body, not just your genitals. “A major part of mastering sexuality is learning to sustain greater and greater degrees of pleasure and desire in the body, without needing to rid yourself of the force because you can’t handle it.”

4. Become the man who women really want

man kissing womans stomach

David Deida drives home in The Way of the Superior Man the fact that women are invariably drawn to a man’s love, consciousness, freedom, and strength.

No better sentence captures his opinion than this one:

“Your woman is a form of the goddess, taunting you, testing you, seducing you, ready to chop your head off with her wrath if you are weak and ambiguous in your truth, and ready to surrender to the force of your loving if you are steady and brilliant in your loving consciousness.”

The more high-value and more feminine a woman is, the less she is willing to tolerate a mediocre man. Instead, she seeks and will only let in a man who has access to his deepest truth and lives it out with real passion.

5. Thrust love into sex

woman handing the man a heart shaped roll of thread

For a successful relationship, only openness can exist between partners.

Many women are unaware of their feminine attractiveness and may even have a nagging sense that they are no longer desired in their intimate relationships. Remind her of her refreshing feminine energy, especially through sex.

When loving women, one of the greatest authentic gifts you can give them is to thrust love and adoration during the act and not just rub genitals together.


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

6. Lean into your dark masculine

This part of the book will often provide the most resistance for men. Deida’s message here is to learn to own your darkest desires.

The masculine is always seeking freedom by releasing the shackles of constraint.

Men feel most potent when they face and conquer death — whether the death of the ego or the death of limiting thoughts, beliefs, or habits holding them back from their highest purpose.

If you think it’s time to transcend into your masculine energy, you can start by reprogramming your subconscious mind in ten steps.

On the sexual end, your darkest desires release when ravishing your woman while making her feel fully accepted and connected to your heart.

The danger comes when you push them down, and your darkest desires rise up in unloving ways.

7. Turn your lust into gifts

man giving the woman a red surprise gift

The purpose of sexual arousal is creation. When a woman bespeaks radiant energy, her very being calls on a man to be fully present in the world.

No The Way of the Superior Man summary would be complete without this iconic quote which captures what exactly lust can provide:

“When a man sees a beautiful woman it is natural for him to feel energy in his body, which he usually interprets as sexual desire. Rather than dispersing this energy in mental fantasy, a man should learn to circulate his heightened energy by breathing fully.”

Use your deep integrity and, even more, your deepest genius to fulfill your life purpose and create the perfect intimate relationship. Your lust for life and women are true gifts to thrust into the world and become spiritually alive.

8. Master your ejaculation control

woman questioning the mans size after sex

Deida advises that ejaculation should be converted, or else learn how to choose ejaculation consciously. When a man has zero control over his ejaculation, he cannot meet his woman’s needs emotionally and sexually.

So what does Deida recommend?
The following body practices:

  1. Relax and open the front of your body.
  2. Inhale fully, all the way down to your balls and release the tension on a slow, deep exhale.
  3. Finally, dissolve into the ocean of love and sex — focus on sharing pleasure with your beautiful sex goddess of a woman.

If you wish and choose to ejaculate, he recommends mastering ejaculation up the spine or a full-body orgasm. You can contract the pelvic floor muscles upwards and breathe energy up the spine. The crucial element for men is to stay relaxed and open for this epic whole-body experience.

9. Yoga for intimacy

Steffo doing yoga

Spiritual growth is available to any man, but few men take the path. By immersing in a yoga practice for men, you allow your whole being to be erect with the energy of a deep source.

Also, the practice offers tangible gifts to the ready student. Yoga techniques are a creative challenge to master and allow you to refine your absolute attention, real presence, and focus. These qualities in the newly evolving man ensure wild nights of inevitable pleasure with your intimate partner.

Having a direction in life is a masculine priority.

You must insist on growth and consistency to fully live on your edge and fulfill your true purpose.

On the other hand, David Deida divulges that women’s yoga requires a very different approach. Building her feminine qualities calls for a much softer and more flowing practice.

Famous quotes from The Way of the Superior Man

man chopping wood

Here are some of the most famous quotes from David Deida:

“Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration.”

“Choose men friends who themselves are living at their edge, facing their fears and living just beyond them. Men of this kind can love you without protecting you from the necessary confrontation with reality that your life involves.”

“The superior man is not seeking for fulfillment through work and woman, because he is already full. For him, work and intimacy are opportunities to give his gifts, and be vanished in the bliss of the giving.”

“She will point out your weaknesses better than a boot camp drill sergeant.”

“The masculine grows by challenge, but the feminine grows by praise. A man must be unabashed and express his appreciation for his woman. Praise her freely.”

“The amazing thing is this: 90% of a woman’s emotional problems stem from feeling unloved. So don’t stand back and analyze her, like a doctor diagnosing a patient, or like a therapist questioning a client. Give her your love—the same love that is motivating your questioning—immediately and unmistakably. Walk over to her, look deeply into her eyes, hold her and stroke her, tell her how much you love her, smile, hum her favorite song and dance with her, and chances are, her emotional problem will evaporate. She may still have some situation to deal with, and you may be able to help her with that, but the emotional aspect will be converted to love.”

“Your woman knows your weaknesses better than anybody. She knows where you will falter and give up. She knows the degree of mediocrity you will settle for. And, she knows your true capacity as a full man, a man of free consciousness and love.”

“Feel your suffering, rest with it, embrace it, make love with it. Feel your suffering so deeply and thoroughly that you penetrate it, and realize its fearful foundation.”

Non-ejaculatory orgasm quotes:

“The first step is undoing the habits you learned while masturbating as a teenager. Instead of tensing your muscles as you become sexually stimulated, learn to relax them. When you notice your face squinching up, relax it. When you notice your breath getting fast and shallow, slow it down and deepen it. When you notice your belly tight and your chest hard, open your belly and soften the area around your heart.”

“The next step is to redirect your attention. Learn to feel your partner more than your own sensations during sex. Rather than curling attention into yourself and feeling the pleasures moving in your own body, feel outward, into, and through your partner. Feel your partner more than you feel yourself. Feel her movement, her moans, and her internal energy.”


So we’ve explored through The Way of the Superior Man summary how men have the power to change their entire lives by becoming aware and owning their masculine energy.

However, one article summary, book, or TED Talk can spark intrigue BUT is not the life-changing experience you need. For real change to happen, the time is now to commit and find a mentor and a like-minded community.

Are you content in being an ordinary man?

Or are you looking to finally live on your edge and step into your true purpose?

The option is here for you.

If you’re in a relationship and crave to reinvigorate the relationship and your life, you need to take this free masterclass.

Single? Looking to attract love and step into the power of your masculine energy? Here is the free masterclass that will change everything.

Want more books? Check out the best tantra books here.


What does The Way of the Superior Man teach you?

This book provides knowledge to help men live on the edge and, by doing so, makes his deep purpose known. In each chapter —  which we explore in The Way of the Superior Man summary — David Deida exposes the layers of purpose to help him actualize his fullest potential

What is masculine energy?

Explaining the nature of masculine energy cannot be done simply. It is your essence, your fire, the metaphorical taste you leave in a woman’s mouth after an encounter. The masculine energy is solid, resilient, dependable, and focused.

How to be more masculine?

Here are 20 effective ways to become an alpha man. Cultivating your masculine energy while steering clear of the macho jerk ideal takes guidance and expert mentorship.

What is the book The Way of the Superior Man about?

In The Way of the Superior Man, David Deida writes and explores how men can step into their masculine capacity in their intimacy, career, and spirituality. It uncovers the most prevalent issues in men’s lives and offers a practical manual for living a masculine life of integrity, freedom, and fulfillment.

Who taught David Deida?

David Deida studied with American spiritual guide and teacher Adi Da Samraj (aka Bubba Free John) from 1986 to 1988. Samraj’s teachings are similar to eastern religions, which view spiritual enlightenment as the ultimate goal of life.

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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

I am the founder of The Tantric Man Experience™, a pioneering transformational coaching program for men. With over 1500 hours of certified tantra training in India and Thailand and 7 years of experience helping hundreds of men worldwide save their marriages and reignite passion in their love lives.

I have over 8 million views on YouTube and have been featured on VICE and Newstalk Radio for my life’s work - helping men unleash their full masculine potential.

My holistic FLT method seamlessly integrates ancient tantric philosophy with my modern expertise in relationships, sexuality, dating, and men’s health.

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