Tantra For Beginners: Best Guide On How To Practice Tantra

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Apr 11, 2024
Tantra for beginners

Today, we’ll uncover modern Tantra for beginners. Here is the ultimate guide for sacred sexuality in the 21st century. Note, we will not be talking about traditional Tantra but rather neo-tantra. You can find more info about classical Tantra in my other articles. If you’re unsure what the difference is, read what Tantra is here.

You’re likely reading this now because Tantra has come to your awareness. And you want to know how to get started in the best and most efficient way.

So let’s dive in!

What is Tantra and Tantric Sex?

tantrika on lotus yoga pose

Tantra comes from the Sanskrit language and refers to a technology to expand consciousness. This suggests the interconnectedness of all things.

The tantric path transcends the limitations of the individual self. This leads the practitioner to merge with the universal self. In essence, the practice emphasizes cultivating spiritual energy through practices. These include tantric meditation, visualization, breathwork, and rituals — which we’ll explore later.

The ultimate goal of Tantra is to achieve a state of union with universal consciousness. We call this state of union with the spiritual world Samadhi or enlightenment. Tantra recognizes the many paths to achieving this state. And encourages you to find the path that resonates most with you.

Tantra is often associated with sexuality in the West. And this is a narrow and inaccurate understanding of the practice. Tantra encompasses all aspects of life. This includes sexuality through tantric sex but also includes spiritual and philosophical elements. This holistic system helps achieve balance and harmony in all areas of life.

Tantra is a multifaceted system that evolved over thousands of years. Its teachings continue to guide spiritual seekers worldwide. All the while offering a path to greater understanding, connection, and fulfillment.

Solo Tantra for Beginners

man meditating on bed

The vastness of Tantra for beginners can be overwhelming. So we’ll focus here on how you begin a Tantric practice with little to no experience in this lineage.

First things first — find a Tantra guide.

It’s important to research who you will trust to mentor you when learning how to practice Tantra. Follow your intuition to figure out where to learn Tantra. You can read until the end for a suggestion on a renowned men’s Tantra yoga mentor and online Tantra course.

Once you’ve found a trusted guide for your spiritual path, they will likely begin by teaching you the fundamentals of Tantra techniques for beginners. This may include tension-releasing breathwork practices and simple asana sequences.

Your guide may then introduce you to meditation, a cornerstone of practicing Tantra.

In Tantra yoga for beginners, your guide may teach you specific meditation techniques. Visualization or mantra repetition will help you cultivate focus and stillness of mind.

1. Eye circles

  1. Begin by lying on your back with your eyes open and relaxed, gazing at the sky or ceiling. Take in the details and find an even breath.
  2. Next, keep your head still and
    1. Look as far right as you can.
    2. Look to your feet.
    3. Look as far left as you can.
    4. Look as high up as you can. Become aware of how much you can see at each point.
    5. Repeat the curricular movement of your eyes 5 times, and then in the opposite direction. Notice if there was any increase in your field of vision.

2. Pelvic bouncing

Did you know that sucking in your belly can strain your lower back? Plus, when we worry about money and security, that tension can also end up in our lower backs.

But don’t worry, we’ve got an exercise that can help loosen things up and awaken that powerful, sexy Kundalini snake at the base of your spine!

  1. Find a soft, well-padded material, such as a yoga mat or carpet, and lie on your back with your arms by your sides and palms facing down.
  2. Bring your feet comfortably close to your buttocks.
  3.  Lift your hips off the ground, bouncing gently at first and increasing the intensity as you relax your buttocks, lower spine, and genitals. Just be careful not to hurt your lower back!

3. The Wave

Want to add a little extra spice to your next workout? This PC squeeze exercise is not only easy, but also a great way to move sexual energy around. So, let’s get started!

  1. First, stand with your feet hip-distance apart and slightly bend your knees.
  2. Now, imagine you’re an ocean wave. Swing your pelvis forward and let your torso follow.
  3. As you lift your breastbone forward and up, your back will arch — this is the top of the wave.
  4. Then, round your shoulders and your back, and swing your pelvis back.
  5. Repeat this motion by swinging your pelvis forward and following through with the rest of your torso. Don’t forget to incorporate PC squeezes as you move!


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4. Chakra sounds

  1. Sit or stand in a comfortable position with your spine straight.
  2. Take a deep breath and start with a low “ooo” sound. Notice how the vibration of the sound resonates deeply in your lower abdomen and genitals.
  3. Gradually increase the pitch and let out an “ohh” sound to feel the vibration in your solar plexus.
  4. Keep changing the pitch until you feel the maximum vibration around your heart with an “ahh” sound.
  5. Then, make a slightly higher-pitched “aay” sound, adjusting the pitch until you find the best vibration in your throat.
  6. Finally, sing or chant “eee” at the highest pitch you can comfortably reach, feeling the vibration at the top of your head.

Each higher-pitched sound helps to move sexual energy up your body.

However, if you feel too much energy accumulating around your head, try making lower, more guttural sounds to pull it back down.

Alternate between sounds that activate different chakras, such as the first, fourth, and sixth chakras. These sounds not only build and distribute sexual energy but also release tension and pent-up emotions, allowing the energy to flow freely through your chakras.

4. Hip Circles

woman in lace panties touching her butt

Let’s add this fun and easy sequence to your Tantra practice!

  1. Start by standing with your feet hip-distance apart, and get ready to move those hips!
  2. First, swing your hips to the right as far as you comfortably can, ensuring not to strain your lower back.
  3. Now, push your pelvis forward and feel that stretch. Swing your hips to the left and really feel those muscles working.
  4. As you bring your hips back to the center, push your buttocks as far back as you can, being careful to take care of your back.
  5. Connect those four points in a smooth circle, feeling the muscles in your hips and lower back activate. Keep it up and repeat a few times, and then switch directions and circle in the opposite way.

Not only is this exercise easy and effective, but it’s also a great way to loosen up those hips, have a little fun, and connect to your sexual energy.

5. Ejaculation Delay Breathwork: Kapalabhati

half peeled banana

This is a great breath exercise — especially for men. The rapid breath through the mouth changes the blood chemistry, and studies suggest can help delay ejaculation by easing the blood supply to the male sexual organ.

  1. Find a comfortable seated position with your back straight. You can sit cross-legged on the floor or in a chair with your feet firmly planted on the ground.
  2. Take a few deep breaths to relax and prepare for the practice.
  3. Begin by taking a deep inhale through both nostrils.
  4. Exhale forcefully through the nose while contracting your abdominal muscles. This exhalation should be short and quick.
  5. Immediately inhale again, and then exhale forcefully once more. Keep the rhythm of your breath steady and continuous, with each inhale and exhale being about the same length.
  6. Focus on the exhalation, using your abdominal muscles to push out all the air from your lungs.
  7. Continue the practice for 1-2 minutes or as long as you feel comfortable. You can gradually increase the duration of the practice over time.
  8. After completing the practice, take a few deep breaths and then relax, observing any sensations or changes in your body.

It’s important to note that Kapalabhati should be avoided by people with high blood pressure, heart disease, epilepsy, or any other medical condition that affects the respiratory system. If you feel lightheaded or dizzy while practicing Kapalabhati, stop immediately and return to your normal breathing.

6. The microcosmic orbit

microcosmic orbit graphic

  1. Stand with your feet rooted into the floor.
  2. Draw your awareness down to your perineum. Breathe in and pull energy to your tailbone. Next, raise it through your spine and neck, over the top of your head, and down your forehead to the roof of your mouth.
  3. Touch your tongue to the roof of your mouth to connect the front and back energy channels.
  4. Exhale and allow the energy to trickle down the front of your body, over your genitals, and back to your perineum.
  5. Repeat — each time cocooning yourself in sexy, erotic energy.

7. Tantric masturbation

Intentional touching can be a powerful way to cultivate sexual energy. Instead, try exploring your body with curiosity and without judgment. Focus on the sensations you feel rather than achieving orgasm.

  1. Set aside time and create a sacred space to begin.
  2. Explore! Let your hands graze all parts of your body and feel those nerve endings light up — stay away from your lingam or yoni for as long as possible. Tease yourself.
  3. Connect with the energetic body — educate yourself on the body’s chakra system and integrate this wisdom into your self-pleasure practice.
  4. Remove goal-orientated masturbation — if you’re a man, explore the benefits of semen retention.
  5. Go wild —release moans and gasps. Rock your body and find your sensual self through this Tantra masturbation experience.

You can learn how to practice solo sex with sacred Tantra masturbation here.

Tantric masturbation for couples

The techniques of tantric masturbation can also be incorporated with a partner. You can lay next to each other and practice tantric masturbation in synchronicity. What’s also extremely hot is to take turns masturbating while the other gets to watch and hold space.

This can be a very vulnerable yet worthwhile experience. You’ll feel the fibers of your relationship’s bond strengthen in the act. Plus, you learn your partner’s sexuality and how they like to be caressed.

Let’s explore this partnered practice even more with couples tantric techniques for beginners.

Couples Tantra for beginners: tantric sex practices

Practicing tantric sex is both a sensual and spiritual practice originating in ancient India.

Tantric lovemaking harnesses sex to achieve spiritual growth, deeper intimacy, and heightened pleasure.

In tantric sex, the goal is not only to orgasm. But rather to create a union and reach a heightened state of consciousness.

Here’s one of the key principles of tantric sex. Sexual energy is a powerful force to direct toward spiritual transformation. Tantra focuses on slowing down, being present in the moment, and building intimacy.

As we’ve mentioned, tantric sex also focuses on the entire body rather than only the genital area. Couples explore each other’s bodies and connect on a deeper level. Tantra does this through touch, eye contact, and emotional openness.

From tantric BDMS to conscious masturbation — here are the seven sex practices for Tantra for beginners.


Unleash the secrets of your inner fire of willpower, harness your sacred sexual energy, and embody healthy masculine energy.

1. Opening the Tantra ritual space

It all begins with the invitation.

You both need to come out of your everyday experiences. So take this time to slow down and enter into the tantric experience, able to see all that is sacred and divine in your lover.

naked couple doing tantric meditation

Image courtesy of Carrellas, Barbara. Urban Tantra

How to achieve hand balancing pose

  1. Sit facing each other and begin with the man holding the back of his lover’s hands.
  2. Settle into eye gazing for five minutes.
  3. After this, swap the hand balance so the woman is cradling the man’s hands. And breathe deeply into the moment for another five minutes.
  4. This is best done naked so that you can begin to harmonize your energies together and strip away layers that are causing disconnection.

2. Tantric meditation: The yab yum pose

This pose is another option to create a deeper tantric connection for beginners.

yab yum pose

Image courtesy of Carrellas, Barbara. Urban Tantra

In this Tantric posture, we experience the union of masculine and feminine energies. Here are the steps to practice the Yab Yum position:

  1. Find a comfortable seated position on the floor. The man begins by sitting cross-legged with a cushion or folded blanket to support his hips or sitting on his heels with a cushion between his feet.
  2. Invite your partner to sit in your lap facing you. Wrap their legs around your waist, and their feet can rest on the floor or on your thighs.
  3. Place your hands on your partner’s lower back and invite them to rest their hands on your shoulders or around your neck.
  4. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths together, synchronizing your breath.
  5. Focus on the energy exchange between you and your partner. Feel the connection between your root chakras, located at the base of your spine.
  6. You can also visualize the flow of energy between your crown chakras, located at the top of your head.
  7. Stay in this position for as long as you like, breathing deeply and feeling the energy exchange between you and your partner.

3. The Breath Energygasm: Tantric sexual energy

couple kissing by a wide window

Tantra energy orgasms build and circulate sensual energy throughout the body. Conscious touch is the name of the game here, allowing for an immense and tender connection to each other.

The goal of a Tantra energy orgasm is not to achieve a physical release. Rather it’s to experience a heightened state of consciousness. To connect with yourself and your partner. Tantra is a more expansive and fulfilling experience than a traditional genital orgasm. This is because you’re engaging the entire body and the energetic realm beyond it.

Expect multiple orgasms and an enhancement of your divine connection!

Here’s our guide on how to experience an energy orgasm.

4. Tantra BDSM

Playing with pain through Tantra is holistic, exciting, and natural.

woman wearing BDSM lingerie

  1. Begin with a safe word, and chat beforehand on what’s on and off the table for the both of you.
  2. The receiver begins by requesting what they’d like to receive. Whether that’s spanking, hair-pulling, bondage, sex candle wax, or anything else.
  3. With full consciousness, the giver must agree to deliver this sensation and plays the line between pleasure and pain.
  4. Both partners feel into the powerful energy exchange.
  5. Upkeep communication — try different sensations, and be bold and sexy.
  6. If both partners want the roles reversed, allow the receiver to become the giver and head back to step 1!
  7. Have post-sex chats — learn what surprised your partner? What made them deliciously turned on? What would they like to explore next time?
  8. Energy orgasm during tantric sex — in the world of tantric sexuality, the energy orgasm is a high-octane experience, one that deepens both partners’ spiritual practice.

5. Energy orgasm during tantric sex

In the world of tantric sexuality, the energy orgasm is a high-octane, sexual pleasure experience. One that deepens both partners’ spiritual practice. Here’s how to achieve an energy orgasm.

couple having hot sex on the bed

  1. Begin in couples meditation — sit in yab-yum and spend time in breathwork together.
  2. When you’re ready, begin to connect — kiss, whisper, caress your partner’s body. Let the foreplay be intense, erotic, and conscious.
  3. When you’re fucking tantrically, the pose does not matter. Tantric sex can occur in any position. Focus your attention on the here and now — forget about the goal of orgasm.
  4. As Barbara Carrellas in Urban Tantra puts it, you need to be “fucking at the Resilient Edge of Resistance—whether your fucking is wild, hard, and loud, or soft, slow, and delicate.”
  5. Savor the feelings of euphoria, expanded consciousness, and sexual union.

7. Conscious quickies

These are moments in a relationship to incorporate better quality time. Plenty of couples yearn for deeper connection and believe it’s because they don’t spend enough time together.

The truth is that from a tantric perspective, it’s far more about the intention behind the time spent together than the quantity of together time.

Here are some examples of conscious quickies — take twenty minutes to ramp up your sex life by:

  • Create a lap dance session for your partner by lighting candles and soft music
  • Use blindfolds, sex candles, dirty talk, and feathers
  • Relax into a couples puja ritual to honor their divine sexual energy

8. Tantric massage for couples (lingam and yoni massage)

Open up new possibilities of sexual connection and pleasure with a tantric couples massage.

Fortunately, we have two comprehensive guides to give your lover an incredibly erotic experience. Here’s the tantric lingam massage guide you need for your male partner and a hot, steamy yoni massage if you want to douse your woman with pleasure.

Before diving into these fountains of knowledge, the biggest pillars of couples tantric massage for beginners are presence and time. Give it a go, and your relationship will never be the same!

Where to learn Tantra online? (Free online tantra course)

couple kissing in black and white

By now, you should have an introductory knowledge of Tantra yoga for beginners. We’ve explored tantric sex practices, breathwork, visualizations, and more. You’ve likely gathered by now that Tantra is a vast spiritual science with tools to transform your life.

To dive deeper, here is my free online tantra course you can watch right away to o reignite the spark in your relationship or attract a perfect partner. 


Unleash the secrets of your inner fire of willpower, harness your sacred sexual energy, and embody healthy masculine energy.

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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

I am the founder of The Tantric Man Experience™, a pioneering transformational coaching program for men. With over 1500 hours of certified tantra training in India and Thailand and 7 years of experience helping hundreds of men worldwide save their marriages and reignite passion in their love lives.

I have over 8 million views on YouTube and have been featured on VICE and Newstalk Radio for my life’s work - helping men unleash their full masculine potential.

My holistic FLT method seamlessly integrates ancient tantric philosophy with my modern expertise in relationships, sexuality, dating, and men’s health.

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