One in three men suffers from premature ejaculation. At best this kind of sexual function problem is annoying. Unfortunately, at worst it can destroy a man’s confidence. It can wreak havoc inside of his romantic relationships, or prevent him from being able to find a partner. Today I will explain some of the reasons for this common but unnecessary issue. I will explain how it can be overcome naturally, rapidly, and easily. Using tantric treatments and sexual medicine techniques.
If you are 1 of 3 men who deal with premature ejaculation – keep reading. Just like the many clients with whom I have worked upon this issue, you can leave your premature ejaculation days behind you. For good.
Table of Contents
- What is premature ejaculation?
- The 3 main causes of Premature Ejaculation
- How does premature ejaculation affect relationships?
- The bottom line: you need to delay your climax
- The impact of premature ejaculation on a man’s confidence
- Delay climax to achieve your relationships goals
- The ripple effect of controlling your ejaculation
- How to treat Premature Ejaculation
- 8 tantric treatments for premature ejaculation to help you last longer in bed
- Bonus tip
- Conclusion: master your ejaculation, master your life
Video: premature ejaculation video
What is premature ejaculation?
Firstly, let’s discuss what premature ejaculation is. There is some disparity between the official stance on it and my personal stance. We’ll unpack that a little.
Premature ejaculation (PE for short) is officially recognized as ejaculation within 2 minutes of penetration.
Most men have encountered this issue to some extent at some point in their lives. It can happen at any age or time in your life and bears no relation to ethnicity. This makes PE the most common sexual dysfunction of them all.
My personal opinion on premature ejaculation differs from the official definition.
In MY opinion, premature ejaculation is when you ‘finish’ before you AND your partner are ready for the lovemaking session to end.
If you are able to satisfy your partner and choose when you want to ejaculate, then you don’t suffer from premature ejaculation.
The flip side of this coin? Even if you can last longer than 2 minutes, if you aren’t always satisfying your partner and consciously choosing when to ejaculate – you are suffering from premature ejaculation.
I expect this kind of statement to be quite triggering to many of you reading this now. How is it sitting?
PE is a sticky issue (pun intended ;)) for many men as there is so much pride and self-worth tied up in our ability to satisfy a woman. Are my words resonating with you or making you angry and annoyed at me for suggesting you are unable to satisfy a woman?
Are you in denial of a problem with premature ejaculation? Ask yourself these questions without shame and with complete honesty.
The 3 main causes of premature ejaculation
In almost all cases, premature ejaculation can be reduced down to either one or a combination of 3 issues:
- Physical issues
- Heart problems
If these things aren’t present for you, just rule them out and move on to looking at the psychological causes.
- A personal psychological cause
- Low self-esteem
- Sexual trauma
- Sexual guilt
- Sexual shame
- Relationship issues
- Power struggles
- Poor communication
- Fear of commitment
- Fear of intimacy
- Pressure to perform
- Being in a toxic relationship
How does premature ejaculation affect relationships?
Today, sex between the average couple lasts around 5 minutes. 5.4 to be precise.
After this, the man ejaculates. He is no longer able to continue penetrating her and the session is over.
Herein lies the problem.
For a woman to be able to experience deep, vaginal orgasms – she needs TIME. Much more than 5.4 minutes!
It takes a woman 20 minutes just to get warmed up and fully in the mood – mentally and physically – for penetration. If you want to be able to f*ck your woman open to God, you NEED to learn to delay your climax. See my article here for more about sacred sex.
The different kinds of female orgasm
She needs 40 minutes to reach the point where she is physically able to achieve a deep, cervical orgasm.
It takes her even longer – around 60 minutes – to enter the realm of possibility for achieving the infamous valley orgasm.
If you haven’t heard of the valley orgasm, this is when a woman experiences wave upon wave of orgasmic energy moving through her body.
Beyond 60 minutes is when she can experience a cosmic orgasm. This is a deep, spiritual union. It is an ecstatic, expansive experience that can bring one into an altered state of consciousness.
The cosmic orgasm is a timeless, boundless state. It is transcendental in nature. Orgasmic waves move through all of the energy centers. This kind of orgasm is nothing other than spiritual and has huge healing potential.
Women crave this deeper kind of vaginal orgasm, yet most do not get to experience it.
In order for a man to be able to provide his woman with the experience of a valley orgasm, he needs to be in full control of his ejaculation.
The bottom line: you need to delay your climax
So the bottom line is this: in order to satisfy your woman and have spiritual sex, you need to delay climax and last at least 60 minutes in bed.
Compare 60 with the average of 5.4. There is clearly a big disparity between the two.
I have spent many years working as a tantra and sexuality coach for men from all over the world. During this time I have witnessed this problem (premature ejaculation) causing rifts in relationships and eventually leading to breakups, separation, and divorce.
‘Divorce?!’ I hear you ask..?
I agree. It may sound superficial or over the top. But for many couples, it is a reality.
The impact of premature ejaculation on a man’s confidence
PE is a highly frustrating problem for all those who suffer from it. Premature ejaculation also impacts self-confidence. Since our experience of life is so closely tied to how sexually confident we feel, it can also impact us in this area, affecting the quality of life.
Inside of a marriage, it can be nothing short of devastating.
Not being able to choose when to ejaculate and sometimes (or always) finishing too quickly can have terrible impacts upon your relationship. The saying ‘happy wife, happy life’ did not come into existence for no reason.
If your sex life is off, the rest of your life is going to follow suit and you won’t live to your highest potential.
For a man with PE, feelings of inadequacy, and not being good enough will seep in. He will feel disappointed in himself for not being able to satisfy his partner – the one he loves more than any other.
For some men, PE affects their self-confidence so badly that it holds them back from growing and expanding in other areas of life.
A heavy weight to carry
For others, they may still excel and thrive in other areas, but the PE lingers like a fifty kilogram weight draped over their shoulders.
Work, family, and friendships may all be going well. But when you suffer from PE, no matter where you go, what you do, or who you are with, you feel weighed down and blighted. It’s always there in the back of your mind, or even at the front.
In either case, a man who is feeling weighed down by premature ejaculation is a man who is held down.
He is not taking action to pursue and achieve his highest of goals. Maybe he is not speaking up for himself. Although he may be operating well and appearing outwardly well and happy, he is still not operating at his best.
Controlling ejaculation is a skill that every man needs to learn how to master.
Once you do, you will live in full masculine confidence. You will be able to attract and maintain deep, fulfilling relationships. You will always be able to satisfy your partner.
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Delay climax to achieve your relationships goals
Alongside the one in three men who are struggling with premature ejaculation and the associated issues, a small handful of smart men are delaying their climax and lasting for as long as they want to in bed.
Whatsmore, they are doing this WITHOUT harmful techniques or chemical drugs. Rather than harmful substances, they are using techniques from the world of tantric hatha yoga such as breathing, kriya, and energy manipulation.
They are choosing precisely at which point during lovemaking they want to ejaculate. Whether they last 2 minutes, 20 minutes, 2 hours, or 2 weeks, it is a choice that is completely down to them.
Many of these men are going from lasting just a few seconds in bed to lasting a whole hour or more – in a matter of just a few weeks.
Some of these men are in their 40’s and 50’s. For the first time in their entire life, they are feeling sexually confident and empowered.
Whenever a man feels in control of himself, that feeling is going to be accompanied by a sense of success and accomplishment. This is simply down to our DNA.
Controlling ejaculation brings about an elevated emotional state. A feeling of finally being in control of, rather than controlled by, your sexual energy.
Once you have started to control your sexual energy and delay your climax, you can begin to achieve your relationship goals. Whether that means improving your current relationship (or sometimes ending it) or attracting a new partner. I have witnessed my clients doing it all.
The ripple effect of controlling your ejaculation
Mastering your ejaculation doesn’t only affect your love life. It also has a ripple effect on other areas. Some of my clients have doubled their income in a matter of weeks or been healed from a lifetime of depression.
Almost all of the men with whom I have worked on PE feel like their life has forever been changed.
Instead of living in a state of anxiety, fear, and lack, they are instead fully embodying their masculine nature and living in a state of joy and abundance. This sends out the frequency of trust and presence to anyone and anything who comes into contact with them, attracting more people, experiences, and things on that frequency.
It is in this high-vibrational state that we tend to attract things like more money. A high-vibrational, masculine man can attract the feminine woman of his dreams. He can become a confident, trusting, trustworthy man. It’s not just airy-fairy spiritual bullsh*t. This is one of the fundamental laws of the Universe.
How to treat premature ejaculation
So how do we overcome and treat premature ejaculation?
First, any physical causes have to be ruled out.
After that, if the problem persists, you need to deal with the psychological issues and the issues connected to your relationship.
You can ignore the suggestions of mainstream media such as wearing condoms, masturbating, and numbing creams. These won’t work and are only temporary band-aids that mask the real problem.
If you want to cure any disease rather than simply address its symptoms, you need to go directly to the root. PE is no different. Try these tantric treatments for premature ejaculation today.
8 tantric treatments for premature ejaculation to help you last longer in bed
1. Relax, slow down, and breathe
If you take away just one thing from this article – let it be this one. You need to relax and slow down.
Take control of your excitement and calm down.
To assist with doing so, take deep, yogic breaths from your belly instead of your chest. There are parasympathetic nervous system receptors located deep in your diaphragm, and breathing deeply will activate them. When you breathe from your chest the opposite happens, and your sympathetic nervous system is activated instead.
Slowing down will relax the pelvic floor. We want this. Why? Because contraction of the pelvic floor leads to ejaculation.
2. Stop watching porn
Across all of my work – with clients, my writing, and my videos, I always encourage people to assess and address their relationship with porn addiction. Porn is quite unhealthy for many reasons but today we will focus on just one.
When discussing premature ejaculation, porn is problematic because it programs the brain to reach climax too soon. This kind of ejaculation (fast and furious) is usually accompanied by ‘the death grip’ – a forceful way of masturbating which only intensifies the urge to rapidly ejaculate.
Tantra teaches that this is the totally wrong approach to masturbation.
The right approach? Just stop watching porn and everything else will follow suit.
I challenge you to go cold turkey for at least 6 months. You will observe your relationship with women and sex transform and your premature ejaculation issues fall away.
3. Practice edging
‘Edging’ is also known as the ‘start-stop’ technique. It is an ancient technique from within the system of tantra that has been proven through both experience and science to make men last longer (much longer) in bed.
Put simply, you need to stimulate yourself until the point JUST BEFORE you ejaculate – called the point of no return.
Before you reach the point of no return, stop what you are doing. Take a break from stimulation and wait until the sexual energy calms down.
When it has calmed down, you start the stimulation again. You build it up to the point of no return once again and then stop – again.
The process is repeated and repeated for as long as possible.
Edging is a tricky technique to practice at first as it can be very hard to resist the urge to ejaculate. Once mastered, you will have reprogrammed your brain and become more sensitive to your own sexual energy.
As I have already said, it’s a hard technique to master – but very much worth it.
4. Know your personal arousal level
You haven’t heard of ‘personal arousal level’ before?
It’s time to get acquainted with the term and what it means.
0% is completely turned off. 100% is ejaculation (game over).
Once you become more in tune with your own level, the more control you will have over your own ejaculation.
In order to learn about your own personal arousal level, you need to start playing with it…
Start masturbating until you get to about 80%. Stop masturbating until you come down to 40%.
At this point, ride the waves between 40% and 80% for an extended period of time. Pair this technique with edging and practice regularly. If you do, you will have a very strong chance of overcoming a premature ejaculation problem.
Once you have mastered your own personal arousal level, you can graduate and move on to learn about your partner’s. After you do this, your lovemaking will take off in directions you never thought possible.
This technique and the one above take time and patience. They are not easy things to master, but no one ever said that the things most worth having came easily.
5. Move your sexual energy
In case you didn’t know, your sexual energy has a fluid-like quality. Just like a fluid, it runs through your body and can be manipulated and directed.
When it comes to treating premature ejaculation, knowing how to move your sexual energy is essential. Unless you know how, stagnation and even illness can happen.
How to move sexual energy? Undoubtedly the most important element is visualization.
Sit quietly. Visualize waves of energy moving from your testicles up your spine to the top of your head. Use the power of your mind to concentrate solely on this. If any distracting thoughts or sensations creep in simply notice them and watch them fall away.
Yogic breathing techniques can also help. As already outlined, breathing in for 4 and out for 8 through the nose will activate the parasympathetic nervous system and relax you. Once you are deeply relaxed, you are more able to postpone your ejaculation.
To further the effects of moving sexual energy you can involve the use of Bandhas and Mudras. Don’t know what exercise to start with? Read my article on Testicle Breathing to find the perfect practice to move your sexual energy.
6. Strengthen your penis
The vast majority of men neglect their pelvic floor. This leads to weakness of these intricate muscles and a lack of control over ejaculation.
In order to strengthen the pelvic floor, you must practice kegels. Unless you have been living under a rock, you have probably heard of kegels for women. They are actually just as effective and important for men.
For men, kegels act as a penis strengthening exercise. Kegels involve contracting the pelvic floor muscles as you would when you are mid-pee and want to stop mid-stream.
Practicing kegels a few times a day will not only strengthen the much-neglected muscles of the penis but will also boost your body-mind connection. By doing so, your brain becomes more closely attuned to physical sensations. This promotes more mindfulness and awareness when it comes to sex, pleasure, and controlling orgasms.
Note: don’t overdo it with kegels. Overtraining this muscle can cause chronic pelvic floor issues.
7. Invoke the use of sound
Porn and the media have taught us that the female partner should be the one moaning and making noise during sex. This is negative, unhelpful social programming that I strongly believe should be outcast and forgotten.
Due to this programming, many men find it uncomfortable, awkward or strange to make noise.
This is a deep shame.
These men do not realize that they are doing themselves a disservice here and are actually likely to ejaculate faster due to their inability to make noise.
Sound – or ‘sounding’ as I refer to it – is a powerful tool for sublimating sexual energy up the spine and therefore lasting longer in bed.
If you can, cast your inhibitions aside and make as much noise as possible during lovemaking. Feeling like you are about to come? Open your mouth and exercise your vocal cords!
If you are worried that your partner will find it strange or judge you for it, I can assure you that the reality is the opposite. Just like men, women worry about their performance in bed too, and like to know that their partner is enjoying themselves.
There is no better way that you can let your woman know that you are enjoying f*cking her than by making a lot of noise. Trust me 😉
8. Conscious communication with your partner
Modern society has pinned so many expectations and assumptions upon the masculine. The need to complete and to perform are at the top of the list.
For many men, this results in feelings of fear.
- That you will not perform in bed
- Of being unworthy
- That you will cause your partner pain or dissatisfaction
- Of not being good enough
- That you will not be able to get or maintain an erection
ALL of this fear is valid.
It is also further perpetuated by not voicing it. When we suppress things, whatever they may be, they tend to snowball.
In terms of premature ejaculation, the snowballing effect leads to performance anxiety. You get stuck in your head when it comes to your performance in the bedroom and you stay stuck there.
This escalates the premature ejaculation which feeds to performance anxiety, even more, thus completing the self-perpetuating cycle.
The way to eradicate this fear is to move through it by communicating with your partner. Not to be demanding or pushy or to place blame, but simply to practice vulnerable and honest communication.
A preface to this is to get vulnerable with yourself first. This will enable you to be direct about the things you do and do not like and want.
The beautiful thing about this kind of vulnerable communication? Usually, your partner will follow suit.
As soon as one partner plucks up the courage to share openly and vulnerably about what is present for them, it opens up a certain kind of space that makes the other feel comfortable in doing the same.
Communicate, cast aside the shadows, and watch your relationship and your self-confidence take off!
From this kind of space you can explore all of your assumptions, ideas, desires, fantasies, wants, needs, and blockages. You can discuss the things you want from your partner. The things you want them to do and the things you want to do. The things you don’t want so much but are willing to do for them – as well as the things you don’t want and are also not willing to do.
Bonus tip: seek treatment from a relationship expert
If you have had some of these conversations, tried working with your sexual energy and yet the problem still persists, it may be time to seek help from a professional coach or tantra teacher.
A lot of men shy away from asking for treatment or help in any circumstance. This is a self-limiting idea that doing so means that you are weak.
In actual fact, asking for help more often than not makes us stronger.
There is no powerful and confident man in the world today who was not coached and supported in order to get to the place where he is now standing.
If you feel it is unmanly to reach for help, ask yourself where that belief is coming from – and question it.
Conclusion: master your ejaculation, master your life
If you are open-minded and still find yourself struggling with controlling your ejaculation after having used the 8 treatments for premature ejaculation listed above, don’t despair. I can help.
Using my experience not only with tantra and yoga but also with thousands of men and couples from all over the world, I can help you gain control over your ejaculation for good. So you can save your relationship from the brink or attract your soulmate.
Your confidence will be truly YOURS. It will spill over into your relationship and reignite the passion that may have been so tragically lost due to issues with premature ejaculation.
All you have to do is register to watch my free training and you will gain access to the 24-hour free pass.
You can then watch the training straight away.
Why is my erection not as strong as it used to be?
Are you at risk of this problem recurring?
How can you get hard fast without pills?
Is it normal for a girl not to come?
How long do you last before climax after penetration?
What is secondary premature ejaculation?
How soon after I begin treatment can I expect an improvement?
Will ED medication automatically give me an erection?
How much improvement can you realistically expect?
What are the pharmacological treatments for sexual dysfunction?
How often should a man release sperm?
How does PE affect your quality of life?
Why is ED medication sometimes prescribed for PE?
What treatment approach do you recommend?
What herbs make you last longer in bed?
Herbs that improve and increase blood flow to the penis can be an effective treatment, such as gingko biloba. Ashwagandha, maca and other adaptogenic herbs can also be useful due to their stress-reducing properties. Check out these 7 herbs from Ayurvedic medicine for premature ejaculation.
Men's Relationship Coach
Steffo is the founder of The Tantric Man Experience, the #1 masculine mentorship program in the world. There he helps men in relationships reignite the passion to restore their marriages from the brink of divorce. And single men attract their dream women naturally with success. He's on a mission to guide men towards an intimate and meaningful relationship, and end the war with their sexuality, so they can finally become integrated men, fathers, brothers, husbands, and leaders in the world.
“It meant a paradigm shift in life.” – Patrik, Sweden
“Life-changing experience.” – Antonio, Italy