How To Quit Porn With Tantra (14 Steps To Beat Porn Forever)

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Aug 11, 2023
how to quit porn

In the beginning, learning how to quit porn can seem insurmountable. But if you look back on your life, you’ve climbed far higher summits. 

You’re stronger than you think but what you’re missing is the porn addiction handbook, which is what I’ve crafted in this article.

You have the power as a man to create an incredible life.

Your sex life is a part of that. 

A man free from addiction can expect to explore with their sexual partner:

  • Playfulness and sexual creativity
  • Passion and desire
  • Epic fantasies and hot role playing
  • Mutual fulfillment 
  • Erotic and romantic connection

Why is it important to quit an addiction to porn?

Porn scoops out the vitality, intimacy, and explosive connection that sex provides. Sex becomes a hollow experience as many, many men become numb to sex and even dissociate. 

Without the compulsion to consume porn, you can redirect your energy, skills, and talents to become the absolute best person of yourself.

Learning and mastering how to quit porn creates freedom in your whole life.

However, this mastery is impossible when porn fills up your spare time. 

Initially, the self control involved in avoiding pornographic sites can be intense. However, we’ve included proven tactics and techniques below that have worked for many, many men before you.

As an expert male relationship coach, believe me, the discipline in conquering your porn addiction benefits all other areas of your life.

Developing your self control helps you stay on track to becoming successful, finding or keeping the woman of your dreams, creating immensely fulfilling relationships, and owning your life as a conscious man.

Why Tantra is the best way to beat porn addiction

the opposite of addiction is connection

If you’ve been stuck and relapsing on porn for years, Tantra might just be the answer for how to quit pornography and overcome addiction. 

Each step of this guide is incredibly intentional. 

Follow these stages as outlined, and you’ll be following my tried-and-tested guidance that has helped thousands of men recover from porn for good.

Sex through Tantra will have you excited to engage in actual sex, overcome any sexual dysfunction and create a masculine magnetism that will draw women to your presence.

With the ancient Indian discipline of Tantra, you will harness your potential. You will get your life on a straight track to self-realization. 

But know that fulfilling your spiritual and sexual life requires willpower and work. When you apply the tantric approach, expect:

  • Connection > Isolation
  • Pleasure > Compulsion
  • Power > Energy loss

Tantra is the best way because it’s a holistic approach to forming a new good habit.

It doesn’t just give everyone the prescription of cold turkey but digs into the shadows to the root cause of the porn addiction. 

Tantra focuses on love and connection. You will learn to build up a somatic connection to your body again. 

Finally, you can focus on the temple that is your body instead of seeing it as a meat machine that sits in front of a heartless computer screen, flicking through moving porn images. 

Tantra is life and will bring your sex life alive and fun again as well. 

That is why Tantra is superior to other methods because it says yes life and treats sex as a sacred act. It is the path back to enjoying great sex. 

And we’ve not about to demonize sex like in the No Fap movement. Instead, we’re reprogramming your relationship to be more conscious and sacred.

What are the best ways to quit porn with Tantra?

Practicing Tantra will teach you to be independent and relate to people from a place of confidence and pleasure. You’ll have to put in the work for sure. But nothing worth having ever came easily.

Porn addiction recovery starts with these 13 practical tantric steps. Then, let’s explore how this awakening practice will lift you from the shadows and transform your life.

Here are my best tantric tips on how to quit porn:

  1. Block porn
  2. Meditation
  3. Visualization
  4. Pranayama
  5. The Microcosmic Orbit
  6. Transfiguration
  7. Sexual energy transmutation
  8. Testicle massage
  9. Karezza 
  10. Physical touch
  11. Release negative emotions
  12. Emotional connection
  13. Shadow work
  14. Accountability

1. Block porn

The very first step is to block porn from your life completely. 

You can block porn from your devices with BlockerX to quit porn and start living. Think of it as accountability software to stop watching porn.

Everyone quitting porn starts with the best of intentions. However, you need systems in place to prevent relapse, and BlockerX is the number one app for this as it works across all platforms. Get 10% off here.

1. BlockerX

The #1 accountability software that works across all platforms. This app helps many guys kick this habit and prevents moments of weakness or loneliness that can lead to falling back into addiction mindlessly.
Although, BlockerX is my preferred app that I refer my client to use, here are other apps for you to explore.

2. Fortify 

A strategic platform that gives you creative and informative videos on how porn works. You also have the ability to set goals and track progress visually. The remote support community is another tremendous feature.

3. Cold Turkey 

This app helps you completely block disturbing apps and unwanted websites. There is no turning back. There’s a free version. Since block lists are already included, you don’t need to type the URLs in yourself. You can set it to block adult websites without being able to revert it. Intense? That’s progress for you!

4. Safe Surfer

A free Adult Site blocker for Android and iPhone. Works with setting up a private VPN. Sounds like a hassle? It does all of the work for you with a few clicks. Activate the “prevent uninstall” option and set a long password (50 characters+). This way, you will not be bothered to unlock it. Optionally, give the password to a friend.

5. Victory 

Daily motivational quotes and an analytical tracker to keep you going through the hard times.

6. Habit Tracker 

This app tracks and presents your patterns very clearly. You won’t be able to say you don’t know what you’re doing.

7. Covenant Eyes 

Not for the half-hearted; this app allows you to select allies. These allies will be able to track your progress, offer support, and keep you accountable.

8. NoFap Chrome

A panic button you can press to get the instant motivation to stay on track when you need it the most.

9. NoFap for Android 

The same, but it goes with you on your phone.

2. Meditation

Next, it’s time to get your mindset right with a regular meditation practice.

Overcoming a bad habit like porn addiction takes discipline and focus of the mind. Training yourself to stay present will give lasting results in living a life free from the compulsion of porn. An unstable mind gets distracted by involuntary thoughts and addictive behaviors.

The mind-body connection is a real thing. One follows the other. When you learn to observe and control your mind, you learn to observe and control your body.

Do you want to be purposeful and strong? Or weak-willed and stuck in addictive cycles?

As the old Zen saying goes:

“You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour.”

Try my guided meditation here:

3. Visualization

After creating stability in the mind, you can now move on to visualizing your success and control over your lust and sexual fantasies.

Let yourself see the freedom waiting for you as you gain control over your porn addiction and, more importantly— your life.

This visualization practice teaches you to move sexual energy up and down the spine. The goal? 

  • Manage your energy flow and visualize your porn-free success.  
  • A life without porn and impressive levels of self-control.
  • In charge of your feelings of lust. You’ll be able to decide to turn them up or down at any moment. 

Visualization steps:

  1. Start by imagining a channel beginning at the base of your spine, the perineum or root chakra. Follow it to the top of the head or crown chakra.
  2. Visualize red, warm energy or light moving up from the base all the way up your spine. See it melting into a cool, white energy at the crown of the head.
  3. Get your breath in the game. Inhale and visualize the red hot pleasure flowing down to the base of the spine. Exhale and send a cooling white energy up to the crown.
  4. Doing this daily for 15 minutes will decrease sexual lust and desire to more manageable levels.

4. Pranayama

I’d argue that this pranayama practice is the fundamental turning point for men looking for lasting recovery from porn addiction.

Life is breath. And, you have the capacity to clear blockages in your body and help energy flow better.

Allow this practice to liberate you. Use that sexual fire to fuel your creativity, drive, and success. Life-force breathing is a vital part of Tantra and yoga traditions. 

The goal?

Decrease sexual cravings and compulsions, helping you to quit porn. In turn, this frees that energy for a conscious purpose.

Try my sexually cooling pranayama practice below:

5. The Microcosmic Orbit

Once you’ve activated the life breath through pranayama, it’s time to circulate that energy in your body with a specific breathing technique called The Microcosmic Orbit.

Form an energy loop to circulate urges around the body to get things moving on an energetic level. 

This breath starts and finishes at the navel. It’s based on two channels:

  1. The back channel (governing channel): runs from the perineum to the upper lip.
  2. The front channel (conception channel): travels down from the lower lip to the perineum.

When you consciously connect them by using your breath, you’re creating what the Taoists call a cosmic orbit. This super highway of energy flows right through the center of your body. But crucially, it mirrors the flow of energy in the Universe at large.

Important to know before you start: 

  • Breathe only through the nostrils.
  • Close your mouth and press your tongue to the upper palate, behind your front teeth. This is how to connect the governing back channel to the conception channel at the front.

How do you practice this Microcosmic Orbit?

  1. Place your hands outside your body at the level of the pelvic floor. Imagine a pearl of white light at the tip of your tailbone.
  2. Using your inhale and the power of visualization, move the pearl up the spine. Move it up through the backchannel. Follow the movement with your hands over the front of your body.
  3. Exhale the pearl down the front. Again, follow the movement with your hands over your front body. Keep up your breathing visualization on the inside.
  4. Do 18 cycles of this.
  5. Finish the exercise by placing your hands on your navel. This is where you’ll let the energy settle. You’re storing your life force, so it’s out of the way. It’s also readily available when you do need to use it.

6. Transfiguration

Next, create a new outlook and perspective on life. For this, consider adopting a tantric perspective on how to view life, including your views on women and sex.

The tantric outlook will turn your life into a sacred experience of aliveness.

This is less of an exercise and more of an ongoing practice. It involves shifting how you look at whatever and whoever is around you. Instead of an obstacle or object to judge, these things become fuel for your spiritual awakening.

Make a habit out of:

  • Seeing the beauty in everything. Everything you encounter is divine.
  • Seeing beyond the physical and into the energy of objects, people, and situations.
  • Seeing the soul of the person, not only the physical form.
  • Moving away from objectifying women. Instead, adopt an attitude of worship. Every woman you see and meet is the Goddess.

A practice of transfiguration alchemizes your ordinary reality into an extraordinary experience of pleasure. Use it to rewire your brain, to finally replace watching porn with living your highest potential. 

7. Sexual energy transmutation

This alchemical process uses sexual energy and sexual intimacy to achieve your goals and desires. Whether:

  • Quitting porn for good,
  • Building motivation for that presentation, or
  • Aligning to your higher self.

Here’s how to do it:

    Set your intention. Visualize the desired result. The key is to focus on positive emotions. Hold the whole thing in your mind.
  1. Redirect sexual energy. Do you feel the need to fulfill your sexual desires right now? Practice one of these tantric exercises instead. The key is to use breathing and visualization to direct that excess sexual energy to your goal.
  2. Channel your attention and creative energy towards your goal. As Scott Jeffrey says, ‘Your desire for what you want must be greater than your drive for pleasure right now.’
  3. Maintain your focus and be patient.

8. Testicle massage

Testicle massage will help you avoid blue balls and stagnation, keeping your male sexual health in good shape.

Watch my guided testicle massage video here.

Testicle massage steps:

  1. Take some coconut oil, rub between hands to create heat, and apply generously around the perineum and testicles. 
  2. Start to press into the trigger points along the scrotum and the perineum.
  3. Pull the testicles in all directions— forward and back, left and right— and place your fingers at the root of the testicles.
  4. Cup the testicles with your hands. Take circular movements, and change directions.
  5. Take one testicle at a time and make circular motions with your thumb and fingers. If painful, make sure to massage gently.
    Note that pain here is a sign of blockages.
    Find the tubes from the testicles to the penis. This is the vas deferens— massage here as well with your fingers. 
  6. Hold the penis and gently tap with two fingers along one testicle— swap sides. 

9. Karezza

The most patience required in all these tantric exercises lies here: the Karezza (Italian for ‘caress’). Why? 

Karezza requires a change of pace in partnered sex. It’s amazing in preventing you from falling into an objectifying, mediocre sexual mindset.

You’ve got to keep your attention on staying conscious and appreciative. Ultimately, it’s a shift away from charging towards immediate release!

Karezza benefits:

  • Increase your closeness to your sexual partner
  • Learn to feel pleasure in the entire process of sex— not just in climaxing
  • Build connection and heal the void that keeps you vulnerable to porn addiction.

The basic how-to: (you can find a complete approach here).

  1. Lie down face-to-face with your partner.
  2. Touch each other, look into each other’s eyes, kiss, and listen to each other breathe. Try to stay present without judgment. Massage each other or place your hand over their heart and feel the beat. Speak gently if you need to say something to clear up the tension.
  3. If you both choose to continue to penetration, do it slowly and with attention. Avoid thrusting – stay inside her without moving and just feel the sensation of the subtle energy. Because there is no finish line as you’re not trying to reach orgasm, there’s no rush.
  4. Enjoy the closeness and let connection rise up instead of simple lust.

10. Physical touch

At this stage of quitting porn, it’s important to start incorporating real human touch to counterbalance the years of numbing in isolation. 

Physical touch is important. It teaches your nervous system about real-life affection and intimacy rather than desensitizing in front of the screen. 

What’s more, it helps release the bonding hormone oxytocin, which will make you feel more connected both to yourself and the world around you. I can’t stress physical touch enough during porn recovery.

How to get more of it?

First, surround your life with people you can share platonic touch. For example, practice hugging your friends and family more often. And go for a massage once a week, or head out to a contact improv dance. Or find a cuddle party near you.

WATCH FREE TRAINING

Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

11. Release negative emotions

You may very well experience adverse symptoms such as frustration and resentment after abstaining for a while. 

Here is a practice I designed to help men release anger and negative emotions, which only takes three minutes.

Steps to release negative emotions

  1. Make fists and move them in an arc above your head. Move the arms, elbows, and fists, breathing through an o-shaped mouth the breathing.
  2. Allow your anger and resentments to rise. Anger often gets lodged in the stomach, so remember to breathe deeply.
  3. Finish strong. Take a deep breath, interlacing the fingers, palms facing up, stretched above your head. 
  4. Hold your breath. Squeeze the root lock and focus on the top of the head. Exhale.
  5. Repeat step four, twice.
  6. Shift gaze upwards with closed eyes and relax your eyes, looking up and relax your arms down, keeping your eyes closed.
  7. Visualize white energy in the center column along your spine. Slow the breath and release tension from your body— clear tension, blockages, and resistance.
  8. Take a moment to become aware of your relaxed state of being, feeling more centered, more cleared, more equilibrium, and more at peace.
  9. Scan your whole body. See how you’re feeling after this exercise and slowly open your eyes in your own time.

12. Emotional connection

Now it’s time to start making new connections in real life. Attend social events, open up communication and start engaging in life to the fullest.

Also, know that the environment matters. If you have objects, folders, or links that lead you back to watching porn, get them out of your life today. Nothing is worth more than your success and peace of mind.

13. Shadow work

Man in the forest with opened arms
We need to get to the root cause and address the underlying root cause. 

Porn addiction cannot take hold in a man who is fully integrated and confident in himself. Choosing to overcome your demons and insecurities is the inner work that prevents slip-ups. It’s best to face the things you don’t want to see about yourself.  

If you’re aware of what causes the compulsion to watch porn, you’ll be far more likely to make informed choices and stop porn-watching once and for all.

14. Accountability

If you’ve tried mastering how to quit porn time and again, and nothing seems to stick— this final step is what you’re missing.

You see, if you’re the only thing standing between yourself and relapse, falling back into internet pornography addiction is all too easy. 

You need to surround yourself with other conscious men so that when everything else fails, you have others supporting you and preventing relapse. A peer group and an expert mentor is the essential element when everything you’ve tried so far has failed. 

We are tribal beings meant to heal in groups and not in isolation. Studies have shown that success rates increase by a whopping 95% when you have accountability.

You need the support of someone who has been there and understands the process well enough to walk you through it. And also a space to talk openly about your struggles.

That said, something like a men’s group is highly effective. The only condition is that the group must focus on quitting the addiction.

If you’re going for this strategy, you’ll need to set up a mechanism to stay on track. For example, support each other by checking in every other day. Giving your friends access to your porn-blocking app is also a good idea. You’ll have to reach out to them before watching porn.

Choosing the right group for you

Choosing a group that uplifts, motivates, and is respectful is essential. Going down this road on your own can be grueling. Accountability partners on the same team, working towards the same goal and navigating the same wild seas as you are a priceless asset.

people hugging and discussing something

This is exactly what we do in The Tantric Man Experience

We support you, keep you accountable, help you reach your own goals, and achieve your full potential.

If you want help to quit porn or simply feel like becoming part of a supportive team, watch our free training for men

In the end, you’ll find instructions on how to apply for the program. Don’t doubt it for a moment: your sex can be fulfilling. Your drive can be more potent. Your life can be everything you want it to be.

Got everything?

These methods might seem controversial, but trust me and my porn-free clients that they do work. Just follow the steps as they are laid out.

And if you are hungry for more expansion in your life, then you’re likely ready for Tantric Academy. We’ll keep you motivated, connected, and accountable to fast-track your progress. 

And if you’re looking to free your life from porn, read on for in-depth effects and remedies for porn addiction. Seriously, knowledge is power. 

Bonus tip: beat porn forever by educating yourself. When you understand how porn negatively affects you and how it works In your brain, you will have an easier time quitting. So read on for more knowledge to end your porn use. 

Your brain on porn

your brain on porn

What are the actual mechanisms that porn uses to enslave your brain?

Essentially, it takes the systems that evolution built into the human body and makes them go haywire.

Take the scientifically demonstrated natural phenomenon in many mammals (including humans) called the Coolidge effect.

Experiments show that when a male rat mates with a female, its interest decreases over time. However, replacing a female rat with a new one, interest in sex increases again. This makes sense. 

It’s a response that ensures the species goes on by mating with as many partners as possible.

The same thing happens when you have a porn habit.

You start by watching one mild video. Then, before you know it, your searches are becoming increasingly twisted and extreme. You’ve been watching for hours in search of that first high. You feel like sh*t. You know it’s wrong and that it’s hurting you. But you can’t stop.

Sound familiar?

The effect of porn use on the brain also impacts the kind of porn you watch. 

Over time, brain chemistry determines that users tend to escalate onto more extreme porn to bring about sexual arousal. This can feature degradation, anxiety-inducing scenes, violence, and even illegal activities.

The Coolidge effect explained

The Coolidge Effect— and the success of porn sites— depends on a chemical produced by your brain: dopamine. 

Dopamine is responsible for desire, pleasure, wanting, and the enjoyment of rewards.

Also, this neurotransmitter is why other vices, such as drugs like heroin and cocaine, are addictive. Our brains learn quickly and find what brings on the cycle of anticipation and pleasure (aka, high levels of dopamine) and then make us chase it down again and again.

That’s why fast-speed internet porn has been compared to being as addictive as cocaine and heroin.

The negative effects of porn

One in three men are addicted to porn— so you’re not alone if you’re battling porn-related problems. Worse still, the average age for boys to start watching porn is just 11 years old! So these struggles have been brewing for quite some time for many men.

Confronting the reality of addiction is essential. It’s time to face how this porn over-consumption ruins your potential.

Psychological side effects of porn addiction:

  • Anxiety when faced with sexual situations, meaning you can’t perform or don’t enjoy yourself. Sexual gratification in real-life lovemaking is elusive.
  • Decreased attention span: Uncontrolled thoughts or compulsive cravings that take over your mind and hurt your attention span.
  • Low sexual desire.
  • Self-loathing: induced by watching what you consider unethical porn.
  • Drained energy/ Energy leakage that could be devoted to your own self-improvement and fulfillment.
  • Reduced willpower: leading to low-self confidence and failure to achieve your own life goals.
  • Depression and lack of motivation.
  • Emotional numbness.
  • Shame.
  • Mental health issues: including depression, anxiety, and low self esteem. These often stem from compulsive behavior, and porn is no different.
  • Imbalanced sexuality.

Social effects of unhealthy porn consumption:

  • Disconnect with your sexual or romantic partner: a great deal of suffering can be inflicted because of one a partner’s porn addiction.
  • Break down of relationships: romantic, sexual, or other.
  • Bailing on social situations because of a compulsive need for pornography usage.
  • Developing negative, aggressive, and harmful patterns of sexual behavior.
  • Rape culture has become stronger and more normalized.
  • Demands for sexual exploitation.
  • Increased intent to commit rape or not intervene in cases of rape..

Physical effects of porn addiction:

  • Hijacking of your dopamine production: porn takes control of your pleasure against your will.
  • Rewiring your brain’s reward center (the nucleus accumbens): porn desensitizes and numbs, forcing you to keep searching for new and more extreme material.
  • Premature ejaculation.
  • Decreased sexual pleasure: the activation of addictive brain circuits means that, over time, your ability to find joy in sex plummets. Check out this brain scan study that proves it.
negative effects of porn infographics

The dark energy of the porn industry

Let’s talk about the effects of porn on a spiritual level for a moment. You might have heard that where attention goes, energy flows. If so, those who watch porn will resonate and mirror the porn industry’s energy. And the porn industry is a dark place.

It is infused with corruption, female objectification, dehumanization, and male power dynamics. 

Sure, conscious and feminist porn is out there if you search hard enough. But it’s rare and minimal.

If you’ve watched the Netflix series After Porn Ends or Hot Girls Wanted, you’ll know porn actors are prone to drug use. They also have a desperate need for money and fame. 

Is this an industry you wish to support with your time, money, and energy?

I would even question those porn stars who genuinely love sex and enjoy their work.

What does the decision “what I want to work with is the selling of my body” come from?

A psychologist would say it comes from daddy issues or a traumatic life event.

Do you want to get yourself tangled up with the energies of these people?

You become what you watch

We want to keep our energy pure and our vibration high on a spiritual path. Therefore, we purify ourselves from harmful outside influences.

A regular viewer of internet porn will gradually become attuned to the perverted energy that created it.

This happens through the law of resonance and correspondence. The body-mind of the viewer will absorb the energy of the pornography.

Everything you watch will leave an imprint on you.

The spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle talks about watching TV. He says it induces a false sense of relaxation and freedom. Unfortunately, this takes over your mind stream, depleting your energy and creativity.

This is like seeing a particularly violent scene in Game of Thrones and then having nightmares all night. The images and the energy of what you saw crept into your being— and became a part of you.

I don’t want to portray porn as the devil. So I will finish this section by saying that some good conscious porn is out there. If not consumed compulsively, there can be some benefits of porn as well.

Porn-induced erectile dysfunction

If you watch porn and suffer from erectile dysfunction, you should know there’s a clear correlation between those two elements.

It’s common knowledge that built-up nerves and anxiety tend to hinder your sexual performance.

One reason for anxiety is the seeking and reward dopamine cycle. Another is the pressure to live up to the unrealistic expectations set up by porn.

It’s important to remember that when you watch porn, like any other piece of media, it’s often fiction. Typically, porn videos are filmed over days (if not weeks), introducing many variables not present during partnered sex.

man and woman lying on the bed with each others backs

In case that’s not yet clear enough, a 2016 study that collected old and new data on erectile dysfunction concluded there’s a clear link between ‘artificial stimuli’ (porn) and failure to get and keep an erection in men under 40 years old.

Porn is not worth the brief pleasure it brings you. You’re trading a rapidly-fading moment of excitement for long-term sexual dysfunction and addictive behavior when you watch it compulsively. As a result, you are forfeiting your sexual satisfaction and that of your partner.

The good news? The very same study discovered that your brain’s capacity to bounce back from porn addiction is remarkable.

As long as you can stop consuming porn to help you get an erection, you’re likely to recondition yourself to have a good sex life with a partner.

The NoFap Challenge is one of the most radical solutions to an internet porn addiction reboot. Taking up this challenge means quitting porn, no masturbation, and no ejaculation for 30 to 90 days. So, if you feel you need a clear framework to work with, this might be the way to go!

The simple PIED test

The PIED test is short for porn-induced erectile dysfunction test. Gary Wilson, from YourBrainOnPorn, developed this test to help guys to find out if their ED relates to porn or performance anxiety.

First, make sure your ED is not biological. Biological reasons for ED can include low testosterone or clogged arteries due to high red meat consumption.

Then, follow these steps:

  1. Masturbate to your favorite porn video. You can also recall it in your mind. If you are recovering from porn addiction, avoid watching it and only use porn fantasies.
  2. At another time, a few days later – masturbate again, but this time without porn or porn fantasies. You are not allowed to recall any porn scenes, visuals, or mental aids. Only focus on the sensations in the body.
  3. When done, compare two things:
    How long it takes to ejaculate or reach climax.
    In both situations, the strength of erection and erection quality (EQ).
  4. How to analyze the data:
    A healthy and vigorous male does not have a problem achieving erection and orgasm on both occasions, with and without fantasy.
    If your erection is strong when recalling porn but weak without it, you have PIED.

Have a solid erection without the aid of fantasy, but trouble when having sex? Then your erectile dysfunction is coming from performance anxiety.

If you have no erection on both #1 and #2, you might have a severe PIED or a physical issue. When this is the case, you need to go cold turkey on porn and seek a good urologist. Also, test your testosterone levels. A good DIY at-home kit I use is Lets Get Checked. They ship to most countries.

What’s so great about the simple PIED test is that it helps you to separate between PIED and performance anxiety because you can’t be anxious with your good old right hand.

Do I have a porn addiction or not?

The American Psychiatric Association talks about substance abuse or addiction as compulsive use despite harmful consequences. As you already know, your brain’s wiring and dopamine cycles mean that addiction to internet porn is just the same. You keep using it even if you know it is hurting you.

The physical, social, and physical effects of pornography stay the same – addicted or not. Addiction simply takes these effects one step further. 

The American Psychiatric Association gives four symptoms you can look for to pinpoint addiction:

  • Lack of control: You find that you can’t keep your craving for porn in check. Perhaps you’ve already tried to master how to quit porn and failed.
  • Social problems: You fail to complete the tasks you need to achieve. You stop engaging in social activities because of insecurity or the need to consume internet pornography. This often shows up clearly in your sex life.
    You stop being interested in partnered sex or experience performance issues like ED or performance anxiety. You might also feel the need to perform more extreme and degrading sex acts to get aroused or reach orgasm.
  • Risky use: You consume porn compulsively even though you’re aware of its harmful effects. And, you use porn in risky settings – such as the office or public transport, where you could get caught and experience negative consequences.
  • Drug (or drug-like) effects: Here’s where the neurochemical cycles play out, making you reach for increasingly more extreme content.

What to do if this description fits you?

If you look at any of these four signs and symptoms of porn addiction and recognize yourself, you’re not alone. Many men and women all over the world struggle with this daily.

But having a porn addiction doesn’t mean it condemns you to unfulfilling sex life. Your addiction doesn’t define you. You are not limited to the compulsive behaviors you are playing out right now— you’re so much more than that! And the fact you’re reading this shows you want to quit and shake off these old habits for good.

Porn addiction therapy exists. Just as with any addiction treatment, it takes time and investment. But it’s totally worth it and very effective.

Choose to be the one who defines yourself and change the way your brain works to experience connection, sexual confidence, and pure pleasure.

Why do people become addicts?

No one chooses to be an addict. The compulsion to lean on external substances in an unhealthy way is rooted in pain and suffering.

Portugal’s revolutionary drug policy showcases how porn addiction is rooted in a lack of connection— but to themselves and to a community.

Portugal took the cue and decriminalized addicts in 2001. The country took the radical step of decriminalizing drug addicts. 

Instead of persecution and prosecution, they provided social support and therapy. As a result, Portugal’s national rates of drug addiction plummeted. The Portuguese death toll related to drug overdose is now the second-lowest in all of the European Union.

In a psychiatry book published in 2000, A General Theory of Love, we find proof that addictive behaviors are directly linked to a lack of emotional connection during childhood.

If there is a void where there should have been love and support, a pervasive feeling of disconnection will most certainly follow.

This pattern extends into adult life, ending in poor abilities to manage stress and emotions. Trust erodes in relationships, causing isolation and dependence. 

Dependence on other people, substances, or porn— aka addiction.

So, knowing this, how to quit porn for good?

Johann Hari, speaker and writer, sums it up perfectly:

“The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.”

The key to beating your porn habit or addiction is not ‘just stopping.’ What you need to do is improve your connection to yourself and to the people around you.

That’s exactly where Tantra comes into the picture.

The road to porn recovery

Gabe Deem from Reboot Nation recommends the following list for recovery. I hope he doesn’t mind me using them here:

  • Admit there is a problem or that you have an addiction.
  • Learn about addiction and that it’s about how our BRAIN changes.
  • Replace the addiction with something healthy.
  • Change your environment.
  • Get Support!
  • Stay Busy.
  • Be prepared for withdrawal.
  • Learn your triggers and avoid them/replace them.

And here is an interview with Gabe talking about his incredible story of recovery from the severe porn addiction that was ruining his whole life:

Conclusion

You’ve got a whole lot of knowledge— and power— to get yourself out of your addiction. From meditations to transmutations, testicle massage and shadow work— it can be a lot to undertake alone.

If you need accountability, support, and guidance from a men’s relationship expert, you might be ready for the Tantric Man Experience. TME isn’t a sloppily rehashed men’s development course. 

It’s a deluxe offering that enables men to reach their full potential. You will free yourself of your demons and live the life of your dreams.

If you’re ready— really ready— for change, then I can help. Otherwise, my course simply won’t work. It needs you to be fully invested. 

So, if you’re ready for the commitment to become a confident, passionate man— join the Tantric Man Experience today. 

FAQs

What is the best porn addiction treatment?

The best porn addiction treatment is a multi-faceted approach. Combine support from friends or other men, tantric practices with deep emotional work. The first two will help with the addiction itself, and the latter will tackle the root cause.

How common is internet pornography addiction?

Pornography addiction affects 5-8% of adults. Porn addicts spend an average of 11-12 hours per week watching porn. Porn is just as addictive as substance addiction. The only difference is that it is seen as more socially acceptable.

What are the negative consequences of porn addiction?

Compulsive sexual behavior, mental health issues, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, loss of time and productivity, and damage to romantic relationships. There are, of course, many more, but these are the most common.

Is porn addiction psychological?

The DSM-5 (Manual of Mental Disorders — the world’s authoritative guide on psychological disorders) does not classify porn addiction as a psychological disorder. However, some neuroscientists believe that what may be perceived as an addiction to porn may be a manifestation of depression or obsessive-compulsive disorder.

What is the average age for porn addiction?

The average age of porn addiction is at the young age of 11 years old. 

Is there a name for porn addiction?

It can be classified as hypersexual disorder, in which porn addiction is a subtype.

Are there withdrawal symptoms from quitting porn?

As with any addiction, withdrawal symptoms result from ‘coming off’ porn. The main are anxiety, restlessness, and a general sense of irritation. But, if you can push through, the reward will be worth the effort.

What is the best sex addiction treatment?

Like any other addiction, sex addiction is a mental disorder that damages lives. If you are struggling with sex addiction, cognitive behavioral therapy from a mental health professional is very helpful when learning how to quit porn. Counseling is also commonly used in the treatment of sex addiction.

Can a young person be addicted to porn?

Yes. A young person can be addicted to porn. Being a minor does not make someone immune to porn addiction. 

Is Tantra more than sex?

Tantra is an ancient Indian path rooted in a deep philosophy of enjoyment and pleasure. But pleasure is a much wider category than mere sex.

Tantra includes walking, talking, sleeping, waking up, eating, drinking, and everything in between. It asks you to put consciousness into every action and moment. These ancient teachings show you how to be present with awareness.

Most spiritual paths tell you to avoid stuff. Food, relationships, activities, sex. By forbidding, they create an imbalance that is often filled with addictive behaviors. Restriction or lack and addiction are the two sides of the same coin. Of course, junk food is never recommended.

Tantra is saying yes to life.

Tantra is the complete opposite of that. It’s saying a loud YES to life and everything it offers. It teaches how to take whatever your everyday life throws at you and transmute it into spiritual energy.

This is the energy that raises you up to a whole new level of consciousness and pleasure. That’s the secret. Taking energy from the good, the bad, and the ugly and turning it into something sacred. Something that lifts you up and sends you into ecstasy.

It’s a process of inner alchemy. Tantra is driven by practice, intent, focus, and love. And yes, this applies to sex as well!

Tantric sex, also known as conscious sexuality, doesn’t look like anything specific. It accepts all sexual orientations and genders. It includes every position and style. From the most romantic lovemaking with music and candlelight to the roughest sex of your life. It’s all good. Tantra rejects nothing.

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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

Steffo Shambo is the founder of The Tantric Man Experience. The #1 masculine mentorship program in the world, where he’s helping men master confidence, sexuality, & purpose to reignite the passion in their relationship or attract a meaningful relationship. He’s on a mission to spread a conscious sexual revolution for men worldwide so that they can show up as integrated partners, fathers, and leaders.

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