How To Handle Incredibly Jealous Women Without Losing Your Cool

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Apr 19, 2024
Jealous Women

Jealousy in women: the ultimate relationship test? 

Often stemming from deep-seated pain and insecurity, jealousy can either make or break relationships. 

As a relationship expert who has worked with hundreds of men to solve their relationship issues, one problem most couples have is jealousy. 

I’ve seen many men frazzled by their partners’ seemingly irrational fears, which turn both their lives into emotional rollercoasters.

But don’t despair! 

We’re tackling this green-eyed monster head-on. We’ll unpack the emotional baggage that fuels jealous women, spot its sneaky signs, and arm you with the right strategies. Ultimately, these require patience and a warm heart. 

Whether it’s through understanding its roots or implementing quick-fix solutions, get ready. 

This guide will help you steer your relationship away from the brink of disaster and towards a smoother, more secure partnership. 

Let’s navigate these tricky waters together. At last, turn jealousy from a foe into an opportunity for growth. 

Ready to laugh in the face of jealousy? Let’s dive in!

Why Do Women Get Jealous?

Women get jealous because of primal DNA imprints of protecting their offspring by finding the best man to mate with. 

She wants someone who has status and will protect her and her offspring. This is called hypergamy, and the motive is “mate guarding.” This helps preserve potential mates from the ancient problem of infidelity.

Thus, modern toxic behavior can develop when women fall into the trap of competing with other women. This often shows immature girly behavior, but it makes sense from an evolutionary perspective.

Women get jealous in relationships when they don’t trust their man’s covert intentions and when they have leaky sexual energy.

Maybe the man has not worked on their sexual shadow. Perhaps they get swayed easily by external sexual impulses. This is very hard for women to trust. Hence, they quickly get jealous.

Or a man may stonewall and not express his emotions. Again, this is untrustworthy. She can’t know for sure if he is telling the truth or not.

There are also a few more particular reasons.

Insecurities and low self-esteem

The root of jealousy lies in insecurities. 

It can be harmful for a woman to constantly compare herself to young girls or other women. It can stir up envy and resentment, making her jealous of another.

As a result, women with insecurities and low self-esteem may surround themselves with superficiality. 

In contrast, a high-value woman is the opposite. They’re not like most other women. 

Do you want to know what a high-value woman wants? Watch my short YouTube clip below:

Fear of losing a partner or friend

The fear of losing a partner or a friend can also trigger jealousy. This fear can amplify feelings of insecurity and lead to protective behaviors.  

Worse case, it leads to manipulative actions.

Past experiences and trauma

Past experiences and sexual trauma can also contribute to feelings of jealousy. 

Whether it’s a past betrayal or abandonment, these experiences can leave a lasting impact. When unresolved, they affect future relationships and adulthood. 


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

How To Deal With Jealousy In A Relationship

I’ve listed a range of techniques for handling a jealous partner. These will help you resolve the matter calmly without lashing out.

Of all the steps listed, the first three are arguably the most significant: 

  • Understand her triggers
  • Use words of affirmation
  • Show empathy

These will help you get through troubled relationships and rebuild the spark. 

Anytime you are dealing with jealousy, keeping cool is essential. 

Remember, you can never take back what you say. Be careful with the words you let out of your mouth. 

1. Understand her triggers

Everyone is unique in their experiences and their scars. Therefore, something that might not trigger one woman might trigger jealousy in another.

Ask your girlfriend what triggers sexual or emotional jealousy. If you can work around them without compromising your needs/desires too much, you can avoid causing her anguish.

But be careful not to compromise too much, or you might become a Mr Nice Guy and people-pleaser. 

Healthy, resilient couples should be able to compromise to keep both partners happy.

2. Use words of affirmation  

A jealousy issue usually stems from a childhood wound. This results in negative emotions, poor self-esteem, and low sexual confidence.

For someone like this, words of affirmation in the form of compliments and proclamations of love are very important.

The positive emotion generated by words of affirmation can be a massive boost to a jealous woman’s confidence. Never underestimate the power of words to lift a person who is feeling down on themselves.

words of encouragement will go a long way

3. Show empathy

Too many times have I seen men fail on this. 

And unfortunately, most men aren’t in touch with their feminine side

Men typically feel their wife or girlfriend’s jealousy is silly and unnecessary. What they are failing to acknowledge is that it comes from a deep trauma.

Usually, it’s not a single traumatic event like a death or an accident. It’s a more subtle but drawn-out trauma. 

Remember that jealousy arises when your partner subconsciously believes their very existence is being threatened. She may not realize it since so much of our cognitive activity is deep in our subconscious. 

But to her, her life is at stake!

It is imperative to have a deeper understanding of the reasons behind female jealousy and to be patient enough to overcome it as a couple.

As with all trauma responses, jealousy won’t disappear overnight. 

But it can disappear. Understand and empathize to ensure you stick around long enough to let it.

4. Encourage independence 

Independence can be an antidote to jealousy. 

Don’t shove your partner away. Instead, do the following: 

  • Encourage her to be independent
  • Help her build self-confidence
  • Reduce her reliance on you for validation

Envision it as teaching a bird to fly. Imagine granting it the confidence to ascend and explore the world freely.

5. Assess social circles and female friends

Do you or your partner hang around with other insecure people? 

If so, it’s no surprise that there’s insecurity in the relationship. 

Now, I know that sounds harsh. But I just want to help you. And you should know that your environment can make or break your success. 

6. Try conscious breathwork to relax

Tantric breathing is magical. Seriously.

It’s underrated yet effective. It can help manage the intense emotions, pressure, and negativity.

Imagine it as a soothing breeze on a scorching day. The proper breathing technique can provide relief and serenity despite the heat.

7. Check in on her regularly  

Regular relationship check-ins are gold. It creates a stronger sense of trust and understanding. 

This can help you eliminate jealousy. Whether a simple text or a surprise date, these gestures can reassure a jealous partner of your love and commitment.

8. Re-establish boundaries

Everyone has boundaries, including you. 

Make it clear where your limits are. Otherwise, it’s challenging to maintain a healthy relationship. 

The boundaries often get blurred when jealousy arises. To bring the relationship back up and running, clarify your needs. 

However, don’t just communicate with words. Communicate with your actions, too. 

9. Address underlying relationship issues

Addressing underlying relationship issues can nip jealousy in the bud. 

Solve trust issues or communication problems. Ignoring them is like leaving an infection untreated. It spreads, gets worse, and can lead to serious damage. 

 10. Have patience

Working on a relationship with an insecure partner is challenging. It requires patience, compassion, and empathy.

Now, patience is critical. 

Don’t rush your partner or try to speed up the process forcefully. The more pressure you put on her, the worse it gets. 

If you accidentally crossed the line, apologize to your girlfriend respectfully. 

It’s a journey, not a destination. 

I can assure you that if you get through this, the relationship will be stronger than where it was before. 

11. Try tantric sex for sexual healing

Did you know sex can be healing, especially for jealous women?

More specifically, I’m talking about tantric sex. This takes into account the spiritual element of a relationship. 

If you need some action and intimacy, try this. 

Side Note: I also made a short YouTube video about sexual healing. If you’re interested, check it out below: 

12. Build a spiritual connection

Building a spiritual connection can help overcome jealousy. 

After all, jealousy can stem from a lack of trust. With a solid connection to each other’s higher selves, this wouldn’t be an issue. Why? Because the trust would be solid. 

13. Shift mindsets to being more grateful

A simple mindset shift could cure jealousy and envy. 

Instead of envying, be grateful. Have a more positive attitude. This can shift your focus away from negativity and lead to healthier thoughts. 

Remember, your actions stem from your thoughts and feelings. 


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

14. Own your masculine side

Being a secure, trustworthy man of integrity will prevent your woman from feeling jealous. 

If she always feels jealous, start taking ownership. Take full responsibility for everything. Directly address the problems at hand.

Doing so will make her change her view of you. After all, she wants to be with a reliable partner. And owning your masculinity means nurturing the trust in your relationship

However, the same can’t be said when you’re insecure. 

If you have an insecure attachment style like the dismissive-avoidant, it’s time to step your game up. 

How To Deal With Jealous Women In Your Own Life In General

Beyond romantic relationships, jealousy can also crop up in other aspects of life. This includes friendships and professional relationships. 

Here’s how to handle this: 

  • Never react emotionally
  • Set boundaries
  • Move on 

Never entertain it. If she doesn’t want to listen, simply move on. Don’t waste your time on other women who are immature. 

Of these steps, I highly advise you not to let your emotions get the best of you. The situation will only escalate and get worse. 

a strong man is able to control his emotions

What Are The Signs Of Jealous Women?

Jealousy, often called the “green-eyed monster,” can manifest in various forms. 

Recognizing these signs is your first step toward handling jealousy. Some common signs of jealousy include:

  • Passive-aggressive behavior 
  • She isolates herself from everyone
  • Making negative comments about others
  • Constantly seeks reassurance
  • Mood swings, anger, and overreacting

Above all, she may lack enthusiasm for your success. She might downplay your achievements to make herself feel better. 

Additionally, she constantly overthinks things. For example, she might take to heart a specific dream about someone. In reality, it could just be harmless. 

Anyway, these behaviors often conceal underlying feelings of envy and make others feel jealous.

We’ll analyze these signs to understand female jealousy better. They can apply to young girls, older women, and other girls, including situations involving two women.

Passive-aggressive behavior

Have you ever been stung by a backhanded compliment? 

Perhaps you felt belittled by subtle undermining? 

Such passive-aggressive behavior is a classic sign of jealousy. It’s akin to a veiled attack, driven not by concern but by the jealous woman’s insecurities. 

A jealous woman will often throw Insincere compliments. She’ll leave hurtful remarks, which can be masqueraded as concern. At times, it might leave you feeling worse. 

a jealous woman will behave in a passive aggressive way

She isolates herself from everyone

Jealousy can also manifest as isolation. 

A woman may intentionally isolate herself from others. Imagine—a beautiful woman encasing herself in a glass box, away from the world.

Or, she’ll do the opposite. She’ll exclude others from social gatherings. 

In other words, a jealous woman won’t only distance herself. She’ll also keep a distance from those deemed a threat to her existence. She may even hold a powerful grudge against famous women. 

Making negative comments about others

Have you ever noticed how a jealous person tends to comment negatively about others? 

This is a classic sign of jealousy. A jealous woman wants the sun to shine only on her, not everyone else. Worse, she’ll attempt to cast a dark shadow over others. 

She might suddenly change the topic or ignore others when the conversation isn’t about her. Remember, she wants to be the center of attention. 

Imagine her as an artist who darkens the bright aspects of others’ lives with a brush of negativity.

Constantly seeking reassurance

Being with a jealous person is like being on an emotional rollercoaster. 

A jealous woman will be on a quest for constant reassurance. This leads them to heightened awareness of their partner’s mood and actions. 

Now, there are three things you need to know about women. Knowing these things can make your partner less likely to feel insecure and jealous. 

Curious? Then, watch my short YouTube clip on this below: 

Mood swings, anger, and overreacting

Jealousy can trigger significant mood swings. Feelings of resentment, anger, and hostility accompany this. 

It’s like being on a boat in a storm, tossed around by negative emotions. 

From irrational reactions like your girlfriend or wife yelling to abruptly leaving during confrontations. They may even show physical symptoms like headaches and sleep disturbances. 

Severe jealousy can take a toll on one’s emotional and physical well-being.

A Closer Look At Jealous Women In Romantic Relationships

In relationships, jealousy can manifest in the following: 

  • Suspicion and accusations
  • Manipulation
  • Unhealthy comparisons
  • Challenging your masculinity 

In a relationship, the stakes are higher. The emotions are more personal and can cut deeper than usual. 

Suspicion and accusations

Suspicion and accusations can create a whirlwind of tension. This affects the trust that serves as the bedrock of love. 

Think of it as a doubt seed sown in a lush trust garden. It threatens to strangle blooming flowers with its intrusive roots.

jealous women will overthink almost everything

Attempts to control and manipulate

Control and manipulation go hand-in-hand with jealousy. 

A jealous person can sabotage the relationship. Controlling behavior will eventually lead to the destruction of an emotional bond. 

Comparing you to her ex-boyfriends 

Is your girlfriend comparing you to her previous boyfriends? Ouch. That’s got to hurt. 

It’s wrong of anyone to do this. Not only are you making your insecurities clear, but you’re also bringing your partner’s self-esteem down

The comparison trap is detrimental. Social media can even make this worse, but more on that later. 

Challenging your masculinity

Has your partner ever thrown hurtful insults at you? 

Maybe she’s complaining about how she wishes you had more giant balls

Or, she might say that she wishes you were a better man. 

These remarks indicate a sense of jealousy that stems from insecurity. Again, they also hint at the state of your relationship. 

Jealousy Is Not The Same As Envy

Envy and jealousy are two commonly confused terms. They are often used interchangeably, but their meanings are quite distinct.

Envy is wanting something that someone else has. A woman might envy a female friend for her beautiful, long, golden hair.

However, jealousy is a feeling of competition. It stirs an emotion of rivalry or suspicion against a person because of something that they have.

The key feature distinguishing jealousy from envy is a feeling of suspicion or competition.

If your woman just wants her best friend’s hair, it’s not jealousy. It’s envy.

If your woman is worried that you will leave her for her female friends and is consumed by negative thoughts about her because she has better hair than you, it’s jealousy.

A small amount of envy is natural. It’s also usually not problematic.

Jealousy on the other hand, although natural, is often very problematic.

The Reality Of Why Many Other Women Are Jealous

The reality of why many women experience jealousy is multifaceted. A combination of personal and societal factors are at play. 

Some of these factors include:

  • Insecure attachment styles
  • Societal pressures
  • Low self-esteem
  • Fear of abandonment
  • Comparison to others
  • Past experiences of betrayal or infidelity

However, the first two tend to be the top factors. So, we’ll dive a bit deeper into these. 

Insecure attachment styles

Research from ResearchGate has shown that having an anxious attachment style tends to be seen more often in women than men. 

Anxious attachment creates a perfect environment for intense jealousy.

See the signs of this below. 

6 signs of anxious attachment

Society and social media

Unfortunately, women are constantly (constantly) slammed with subliminal and not-so-subliminal messages. They’re told they must be of a specific body size and shape to be attractive. 

Social media makes it easy to compare yourself to that “other woman” who has everything you don’t. 

If a woman doesn’t have that ‘desirable’ aesthetic due to genetics and at the same time has an anxious attachment style, a poor sense of identity, and low self-esteem, it is no wonder she feels threatened by other women.

For this woman, her wound was created at an age when she was dependent on caregivers for survival. 

Therefore, she feels her survival itself to be threatened once more. 

When this wound gets triggered, intensely negative emotion arises.

Are Jealous Women The Same As Jealous Men?

Regarding jealousy, there is a distinct gender difference between the sexes.

Men are more likely to experience jealousy around sexual infidelity in the form of sexual jealousy.

For women, sexual infidelity is still a fear, but they are much more likely to experience jealousy related to emotional infidelity.

Some scientists say this is likely because men and women have different base instincts.

Male instinct is to continue the lineage, while female instinct is to emotionally bond with a mate enough so that he will stay with you to raise children together.

Hence, we can see why men and women might experience jealousy differently.

Conclusion: Young Girls And Older Women Alike Can Get Jealous, Which Is Normal

So, we’ve unpacked the complexities of jealousy. 

You know that jealous women aren’t simply being irrational or spiteful. Instead, jealousy often springs from a deep-seated wound linked to low self-worth and confidence. 

It’s an emotional challenge for both men and women. 

Envy can affect relationships in all ways. If it’s not controlled, it can steer a relationship toward separation. 

Acknowledging your shortcomings is the first step. The next is understanding and managing them. If not, you risk an unfulfilling relationship. 

The most crucial step is taking action. Without action, progress will not be made. Researching your entire life and not doing anything will not change your relationship. 

I want to make it easy for you, so I suggest watching my free relationship transformation video. It’s designed to help you transform your own life in all areas. 

Finally, you can live the love life of your dreams and overcome all insecurities. 

Following the basic foundations discussed in my free training video will help you break free from the chains of insecurity. 

Don’t let jealousy hold you back. Take action and start your journey to a more secure and loving relationship today!


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.


How does a jealous woman act?

When a woman begins to feel jealous, it can lead to negative behavior toward other women and men. She may make negative comments or remarks about someone, accuse or attempt to control you, or force herself to be the center of attention. 

What causes jealousy in a woman?

Jealousy in most women stems from a lack of self-confidence. A lack of self-confidence comes from insecurities. These insecurities can either be because of past experiences or trauma. Another cause could be their partner’s lack of control over their sexual energy. 

What is the psychology of a jealous person?

The psychology of a jealous person often revolves around fear and insecurity. They’ll have a strong sense of inadequacy. In other words, they’ll feel like they’re not good enough. They may fear losing something valuable and feel threatened by the presence of others. This can lead to an emotional state, driving possessive behavior. 

What is the root cause of jealousy?

The root of jealousy usually lies in insecurity or fear of losing something important to someone else. It often stems from feelings of not being good enough or fears of abandonment. It’s like a worry alarm going off. It tells someone they might lose what matters most to them.

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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

I am the founder of The Tantric Man Experience™, a pioneering transformational coaching program for men. With over 1500 hours of certified tantra training in India and Thailand and 7 years of experience helping hundreds of men worldwide save their marriages and reignite passion in their love lives.

I have over 8 million views on YouTube and have been featured on VICE and Newstalk Radio for my life’s work - helping men unleash their full masculine potential.

My holistic FLT method seamlessly integrates ancient tantric philosophy with my modern expertise in relationships, sexuality, dating, and men’s health.

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