How To Repair A Relationship In 14 Creative Steps (No Talk!)

Saving your marriage from divorce is not single-handedly possible through talking.

Every other article you’ll read online will tout communication as the #1 route back to a great relationship.

And this just isn’t the case. 

I’ve coached thousands of men to reignite love, and have condensed their learnings into this article for you to strengthen your relationship in a way that doesn’t feel like you’re going around in circles.

How to repair a relationship that’s worth saving?

Long-term relationships require a depth of understanding and acceptance that transcends your differences. 

This will come across as highly controversial, but verbal communication is most likely not what will keep your relationship moving forward and forging commitment, tenderness, and intimacy.

Conversations often drudge up feelings of being hurt and shine a glaring light on all the things going wrong.

So to rebuild trust and create a healthy bond, here’s my unconventional but practical guide on how to repair a relationship.

How to repair a relationship in 14 powerful steps

1. Connection > Communication
2. Break up with shame
3. Replace resentment with compassion
4. Let sex heal and unite
5. Submerge in their emotions
6. Keep the heart-door open: Stay open and approachable
7. Men: cultivate your masculine energy
8. Women: boost your feminine energy
9. Harness the power of trustworthy
10. Implement the Power Love Formula
11. Embrace impermanence for a healthy relationship
12. Stop playing tit-for-tat
13. Rediscover touch
14. Gratitude

1. Connection > Communication

If one of you is hurt, the risk of deepening that wound by “clearing the air” is high as both partners have elevated emotions coursing through them. 

That’s why it’s so important to find non-verbal ways to connect and begin to feel comfortable and loved around each other again. 

These tantric meditations for couples hold unfathomable power in reigniting intimacy.

2. Break up with shame

Women often find it surprising that men find far less comfort in having a talk about their relationship than women. Inbuilt societal shame plays a significant role here and surfaces when a relationship is struggling.

Meanwhile, men feel that snags in the relationship are due to their inadequacies. 

That’s why connection flourishes when the woman champions her partner and celebrates his successes.

3. Replace resentment with compassion

1. Their depth, vulnerabilities, and uniqueness
2. Your sense of understanding, grace, and patience

Appreciate their differences from you, and admire their qualities by letting your natural empathy surface. Giving your person that level of comfort and protection creates a hopeful future for the marriage.

4. Let sex heal and unite

Your lovemaking helps melt away petty grievances. There’s a reason why it’s called “joining as one”. It’s a chance to show respect, love, and presence. Here are tips if you’re struggling in a sexless relationship.

5. Submerge in their emotions

Romantic relationships heal when partners resolve to understand and accept each other’s emotions. 

Become a submarine and submerge yourself in their emotional world. You don’t need to forget about yourself or avoid conflict. The key is acknowledging and caring about your spouse’s feelings, pain, and hurt.

6. Keep the heart-door open: Stay open and approachable

Continuing from the last point, relationships also require that partners work hard to remain honest and open— even through any trust issues or dealing with difficult topics. 

The goal of conversing about your feelings is to feel connected. Giving your person a key to the door of your heart creates a much deeper connection than a thousand conversations ever could.

7. Men: cultivate your masculine energy

When a man is in his masculine energy, he can hold space for his partner, allowing her to feel understood, loved, and safe all at once.

How to enhance your masculine energy:

1. Explore the 8 ways to develop your masculine energy.
2. Practice this divine masculine meditation:
   

8. Women: cultivate your feminine energy

Feuling your divine feminine is an empowering journey that creates an effortless, graceful flow in your life. And once you realize the power of masculine and feminine polarities within a couple, there’s no going back.

How to enhance your feminine energy:

1. Explore how to dial up your feminine energy.
2. Spend time practicing this divine feminine meditation:
   

9. Harness the power of trustworthy

Radiating trust is not only sexy— really!— but also initiates change for the better in your life and with your partner.

• Reliable: shows up for themselves and other people.
• Accountable: takes responsibility for their actions and emotions.
• Lives with integrity: upholds their moral ethics and principles (even when no one’s watching).
• Accesses vulnerability: creates intimacy at the deepest level by letting their spouse see all parts of themselves.
• Advocates: for the relationship and is sensitive to any areas of potential improvement.
• Honest: similar to trust, but also refrains from lies or secrets.

If you find these qualities challenging to access— don’t worry. Really, it’s great that you are aware, as too many people have blind spots on how they are in the world. 

Unlearning and reprogramming the subconscious mind helps to install new patterns of being so you can be a trustworthy partner.

10. Implement the Power Love Formula

How to practice the Power Love Formula:

1. Draw your partner firmly into your heart four times a day.
2. Hug your partner six times a day for six seconds.
3. Embrace positive thoughts about the bond you share. 
4. Commit to giving love freely and with compassion.

Note how things change and how your partner feels after sticking to this love-filled routine for a few weeks. 

11. Embrace impermanence for a healthy relationship

It’s a cliche for a reason: nothing lasts forever.

When we embrace impermanence, we open ourselves up to significant changes and can let go of our fear and anxiety to become more fully present to the other person.

Let the relationship and your partner change– because it will happen anyway. Let go of expectations and step into the wonder and solace of appreciation.

12. Stop playing tit-for-tat

Do you do things for them out of obligation or to receive something in return?

The truth is that the intention is far more meaningful than the actual act or gift. 

This quote sums up this sentiment perfectly “A relationship isn’t always 50/50. Some days your person will struggle. You suck it up and pick up that 80/20 because they need you. That’s love.” 

For example, you could buy your partner a yacht expecting to receive something back. Or you could benefit the relationship far more by brewing their morning coffee— made just how they like it— when they’re running late for work. Being present for your partner puts an end to the games and having to one-up the other.

13. Rediscover touch

Sometimes you need to give a person space, especially if one partner is feeling hurt. However, rediscovering touch is one of the most beautiful explorations for a couple that has lost their sparks.

Here’s an example of ways to bring touch back into the relationship:

• Long hugs that settle and co-regulate your nervous systems
• Playful kisses
• Cheeky ass grabs while making dinner
• Slow dancing in the living

Of all the things you could do to make your partner feel desirable, touch is a potent behavior to heal. Take it to the next level by spicing up the bedroom.

14. Gratitude

A growing body of research and peer reviewed studies reveal gratitude’s positive outcomes in relationships.

Take time to show how much you appreciate the impact your loved one has in making your world more meaningful, fun, and fulfilling.

Through gratitude, you’re:

• Strengthening the shared bond,
• Improving both of your mental health states, 
• Reducing the need for angry outbursts, and 
• Maintaining closeness and affection. 

There are plenty of ways to express gratitude without having to talk.

How to show gratitude non-verbally

1. Make a habit of consistently expressing and showing love.
2. Write a thoughtful letter or post it to make your partner smile and feel appreciated. 
3. Nothing shows thankfulness more than investing time in your partner.

 Conclusion

So, we’ve thoroughly explored how to repair a relationship in these 14 steps. To deepen your understanding of rebuilding love, check out How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny. 

Let us know which step worked best for you and your partner in the comments!

I’m Steffo, an advanced relationship expert for conscious men to live with unimaginable empowerment, success, and passion. 

If you need more help enhancing your love life and feeling fully connected to your partner, you’ve come to the right place.

Already in a relationship? 

This masterclass will help you both reach new levels of passion and fulfillment. 

Meanwhile, this masterclass is for the single man looking to find his dream partner.

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