Top 6 Ways To Dial Up Your Feminine Energy To Attract A Man

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Aug 11, 2023
feminine energy

What if I told you that it is not your looks or your charisma that first attracts a man to you – but your feminine energy?

In today’s article, I will discuss what feminine energy is. I’ll help you to understand why it often becomes suppressed in the 21st-century world, and how you can enhance it. I will also explain how working on your feminine energy can increase sexual polarity and create a deep desire for you in the hearts of men.

Once you understand how to cultivate and draw upon your feminine energy, you can use it to enhance your current relationship or manifest the soulmate partner of your dreams.

What is feminine energy?

3 women having fun by the beach

Stripped down to its core, feminine energy is love with a sprinkling of chaos and confusion. 

The feminine rests in the energy of feelings and unpredictability. A woman with strong feminine energy feels the full range of emotions and relies mainly on intuition to make decisions and navigate her way through this world.

Due to this reliance on intuition rather than reason and logic (which are more traits of masculine energy), feminine energy can feel volatile and unpredictable at times. Out of a group of women, you can identify the very feminine ones with pure feminine energy by observing their decision-making patterns, or lack thereof! 

To a man, a very feminine woman feels confusing and mysterious. And herein lies the reason why feminine energy is so irresistible to men. It is this aura of mystery and unpredictability that keeps them hooked!

What is divine feminine energy?

woman with red flower on her hair sitting in the woods

Feminine energy is not to be confused with divine feminine energy. Both feminine and masculine energy have divine aspects, and these are more related to esoteric principles and ideas. 

Divine feminine energy is represented by the great Mother. Mother Earth herself, Gaia, or Shakti, is a feminine entity. She has pure, divine feminine energy. All feminine energies can be traced back to her. She is the spirit of our world, the creator and sustainer of everything that exists here on our planet.

The divine feminine is the creator, giver, and bearer of life. The greatest feminine power is being the carer. A maternal figure who loves unconditionally and wholeheartedly.

A woman who is in her feminine energy will emulate some qualities of this divine feminine energy. But divine feminine energy is more a set of principles that we can try to embody and draw upon, but we shouldn’t expect to fully align with it 100% of the time.

In real-world terms, a feminine woman is dynamic, flowing, and always moving. Masculine energy on the other hand is more solid, steadfast, reliable, and predictable. Masculine and feminine energies differ greatly. And this is a microcosmic echo of the divine order of the Universe. In simple terms: feminine and masculine energy creates polarity: yin and yang.

The plans, desires, and moods of a feminine woman are always changing. She is unpredictable and chaotic at times. But at the same time, she has a sixth sense and listens to her inner voice. Feminine women have a strong sense of intuition, and they follow this.

What are the traits of a feminine woman?

woman meditating sunset

A woman is in her feminine when she is in a state of flow. This can even be reflected in the way that she dresses. Think of clothing that is said to be feminine. Usually, it is draping, soft, and flowing – just like feminine energy and the beautiful curves of a feminine body shape.

Imagine the image of the Virgin Mary holding baby Jesus. The gentle look in her eyes, the overflowing unconditional love for her child. Those soft, flowing drapes of her white and blue robes. The Virgin Mary is a perfect representation of the archetype of the feminine.

A woman who is truly embodying her feminine essence listens to her heart and embraces her feelings. She is guided by creativity, comfortable in her body, and lives for the moment. A feminine woman does things just because they feel good, rather than to achieve a goal.

What is masculine energy?

Masculine energy on the other hand is more predictable and relies more on the more tangible five senses. Decisions are made strategically, with a defined goal in mind.

The feminist paradox: how the 21st Century world masculinizes women

In the same way that a man can carry more feminine energy traits, a woman can carry more masculine energy traits. Unfortunately, the world that we are living in today is promoting this imbalance.

Boss babe culture 

woman working in an office

A woman who is under the influence of her inner masculine adheres more strongly to routine, order, structure, achievements, and goals. Currently, we have a culture of the ‘boss babe’. Women are more encouraged than ever to be go-getters, high-achievers, and solo entrepreneurs, and go their own way. Unfortunately, many women are losing more and more of their beautiful, sexy, magnetic feminine energy for this reason.

Traditionally, masculine men are attracted to feminine women. As the giver and the provider, the man provides and protects, while the woman receives. This is the natural alchemy between the two energies. But a woman who is hyper-independent, successful and an achiever is very difficult to provide for since she is providing everything for herself. 

Success in the workplace vs success in dating

A boss babe is likely to be controlling and rigid. These are two qualities that help you to succeed in the 21st-century workplace and gain the respect of your colleagues.

Men feel intimidated by this kind of woman, though. Even if they don’t know that it is intimidation that they are feeling, they won’t feel a spark with her. They might want to be friends with her or spend time with her, but they won’t fall in love with her or want to make her into their girlfriend.

Many, many women fall into this trap. These women are crushing it in terms of climbing the career ladder. They have power in the workplace and are earning high, enviable salaries. Even sometimes more than their male counterparts. But their beds and their hearts are empty, and they find it very difficult to attract love.

Hence how the current culture, whereby feminist ideals are heavily pushed, even forced upon women, is harming women. These ideals force them to become overly self-reliant, rigid, and controlling. This zaps polarity with the men around them and leaves them single. Hence the paradox whereby feminism masculinizes women.

What is sexual polarity between masculine and feminine energies?

Polarity essentially means opposites. In terms of attraction, this means that the feminine is attracted to the masculine, and vice versa. The whole Universe is based upon the concept of polarity. One cannot exist without the other And the two are necessarily linked to each other. 

Nature holds the most obvious examples of polarity: night and day, Summer and Winter, etc.

In the same way, female solid energy attracts strong male energy. It is this that creates the electrical shivers that ripple up and down your spine when you are feeling sexually aroused. 

When it comes to sex and attraction, polarity lies at the heart of everything. So, if you can master contradiction by dialing up your feminine energy, you will also be able to master sex and attraction.


When there is a polarity between two people, we experience the meeting of both yin and yang energies. There is cooperation and balance. Deep sexual intimacy is abundant. Sexual chemistry flows. Lovemaking is intensely passionate, steamy, and wild.

Many women believe to attract a good man you need to be physically beautiful.

This is not the case. Men are attracted to women due to the power and influence of sexual polarity. If you have men falling at your feet left, right, and center, you may think it is because of your good looks. But it is a polarity that is at work here.

How to increase sexual polarity

man and woman lying on the leaves laughing

If you want to increase polarity, you need to be the energetical opposite of the man you are wanting to attract or to stay close to.

A feminine quality eg. receptive is usually the opposite of a masculine quality eg. giving. In this way, a woman with female energy and a man with male energy will perfectly complement each other. So you can try to open yourself up to receiving more from men, rather than giving to them yourself.

A masculine man will experience feelings of deep attraction, desire, and lust toward a woman who is receptive to what he has to offer. He might not be able to explain the reason, but he won’t be able to keep his eyes, his mind, or his hands off her.

When feminine energy is balanced with masculine energy there is harmony. There is flow, smoothness, and intense attraction. A fully tantric relationship relies on the polarities of masculine and feminine. The masculine is looking for that which it lacks. This is to be found inside the feminine.


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

Masculine and feminine energy according to a sexual polarity expert

Sexual polarity expert David Deida describes how feminine energy is centered around values such as love, kindness, and partnership. 

Contrastingly, masculine energy values organization, structure, routine, achievement, and rigidity. But this does not mean that all men are simply achievers and all women are simply givers of love and partnership. 

Human beings are by nature multi-faceted. A man can be more in his feminine energy and a woman more in her masculine. We can also spend our lives transitioning between the two. Usually, however, we favor one or the other.

A woman who is working 10 hours a day in a busy corporate office role is probably operating from her masculine side. She could be managing a team of staff, delegating tasks, and holding a lot of responsibility. This woman is likely to be emulating the same energy at home.

woman checking the kids writing on the board

Of course, there is nothing wrong with this. Plenty of women boss it at work, boss it at home, and live happy lives.

This kind of behavior can, however, cause issues in a relationship. 

Do you think that your relationship issues might be stemming from having too much masculine energy? If so, then I am about to help you confirm whether you do or not.

Are you operating from your masculine or feminine?

To answer this question, the first thing you have to do to identify whether you are operating from your masculine or your feminine is to consider your essential personality traits. 

Take The Masculine And Feminine Energy Quiz Here

Both men and women have masculine and feminine energy within them. Usually, a person tends to lean more towards one side than the other.

wooden model on a yellow background

Neither is right or wrong, BUT in terms of sexual polarity and harmonious relationships, women should be more feminine whilst men should be more masculine.

How to know if you’re operating from your inner feminine or masculine side? It depends on your approach to life and the qualities of your personality.

Masculine energy traits are: 

  • presence 
  • confidence 
  • logical 
  • rational 
  • security
  • honesty 
  • trustworthiness 
  • reliability 
  • achieving 
  • dominant

Wounded masculine traits are: 

  • controlling 
  • giving 
  • aggressive
  • defensive 
  • competitive 
  • and unstable

Feminine energy traits are: 

  • Dynamic
  • flowing
  • receptive
  • open
  • intuitive
  • trusting
  • creative
  • passive
  • authentic
  • caring
  • vulnerable 
  • and supportive

Wounded feminine traits are: 

  • Insecure
  • needy
  • co-dependent
  • unstable
  • overly emotional

Divine feminine energy: a common misconception

tantrika in lotus position

As touched upon above, a common misconception around this subject concerns divine feminine energy. Divine feminine energy as briefly touched upon above is not something that you should aim for. 

Divine feminine energies are more associated with Gods or deities. They can be called upon occasionally, but to aim for alignment with the divine feminine all of the time would be a very high target. 

Truly embodying the divine feminine only comes after years of advanced, highly dedicated tantric practice. It is better to follow the advice in this article and build your feminine energy that way.

Dialing Down The Masculine, Turning UP The Feminine

Let’s go back to the example of the woman above. It’s a common realization that to climb the career ladder and get to the top, she might need to step on some toes. She might even annoy some people along the way. We don’t come to work to make friends, right?

She is emotionally uninvolved in her work. Her calendar is packed out. Each week presents a new set of meetings. She conducts 1:1’s with each of her team in which she is setting tasks, works with timelines, and delegates. 

woman in red heels sitting and working on her desk

There are personal and team targets to meet. All of this requires a lot of organization and careful time management. She relies on logic and method to get things done. A woman like this is very much in her masculine. Logic, order, structure, achievement, emotional detachment, and organization are very masculine traits.

This attitude might well get her ahead in the workplace. However, if this carries over into her relationships or her dating life, it can cause issues. This woman may exert the same level of control, logic, and leadership inside her relationship. 

Inevitably this will bring tension, arguments, and a loss of romantic spark. When a woman carries the same energy as her partner, they will energetically repel each other and clash. If she is searching for a high-quality male partner, she is unlikely to have much success!

Why is this?! It is because, to have the healthiest relationship and to be attractive to the best men, we need polarity!


Unleash the secrets of your inner fire of willpower, harness your sacred sexual energy, and embody healthy masculine energy.

6 Intuitive Ways To Dial Up Your Feminine Energy

woman listening to man playing the guitar

If you have self-identified as a woman with more masculine energy than feminine, don’t worry! It’s not a life sentence. 

Here are some practical steps you can take to start becoming AND feeling more feminine today:

1. Get comfortable with your emotions

Inside the workplace or when dealing with clients, a cold, emotionless, detached attitude is deemed most appropriate when it comes to your personal life. When you get home, however, you should leave this belief at the door.

The masculine is naturally colder and more rigid than the feminine. A masculine man is attracted to a sweet and loving, nurturing woman.

During a conversation with your partner, try and sink into a little more softness and embrace vulnerability. If you have had a rough day or are worried about something – tell him about it.

If you are meeting a man for the first time, instead of reeling off a list of your achievements and selling yourself, show a little of your emotional intelligence. Get personal and tell your date a meaningful story about yourself instead.

2. Stop gossiping

tape covering womans mouth

Think back to the archetype of the feminine we looked at earlier – The Virgin Mary. Do you think she was one to gossip and talk s**t about people? Not. The feminine is associated with unconditional love and kindness. There is no place for gossip or putting others down inside these values.

Instead of engaging with your partner or dating in unkind, pointless gossip, focus on the positive. Say good things about others rather than negative things. Research has shown that when we speak highly of others, people think highly of us. 

Men will see you in a different light when you speak with kindness and warmth.

Pro Tip: stop gossiping and learn how to talk dirty instead, your man will love it!

3. Learn to go with the flow

a scenery of river with mountains at the back

This is possibly the most important and relates to one of the main qualities of feminine energy: motion.

The masculine is stillness whilst the feminine is motion, flow, and dynamism.

Nothing is less attractive to a man than a woman who is rigid, controlling, and detail-oriented. Inside your relationship and your dating life, try to lean away from organization and control. 

Instead, try to lean into open-mindedness, spontaneity, and seeing the bigger picture. Let go of that which you are unable to control and most importantly – TRUST. 

After all, the Universe has a plan for you, so stop getting in the way and relax a little. And when you do trust yourself, you can manifest a trustworthy man.

4. Get closer to nature

asian women enjoying the nature

More and more women are losing their authentic selves – their femininity – due to spending too much time indoors or in front of a screen. 

By getting closer to nature, you can feel grounded and more aligned with your natural female qualities. Nature created you to be perfectly feminine, as this is following your highest self and the divine order of the Universe. It is modern-day life that has thrown women out of balance. 

To find balance again, walk barefoot on the Earth or lay your body down on the ground to soak up its energy. In Tantra, we call this earthing. It is a common, and very powerful tantric practice – a basic self-care technique for Tantrikas. Anything that brings you closer to nature will bring your energy into balance and align you with your authentic self.

5. Spend time with other women

aerial shot of 3 women lying down on a mat

Just as men can become more masculine by spending time with other men, women can become more feminine by spending time with other women. 

There is nothing better or more nurturing for your feminine energy than time spent with your sisters. Finding other like-minded women can give you a sense of belonging and help you to feel grounded. 

In some tantric communities, women have created a sacred space where only women gather together for certain celebrations and ceremonies, such as the scared moon ritual.

Check if there is something like this in your area. And if not, you could even set one up yourself. There is something so powerful about getting together with other women; it will undoubtedly enhance your feminine qualities.

6. Practice feminine self-care

2 women doing yoga

Another way you can enhance your femininity is with feminine self-care practices. As women, we are made to feel uncomfortable and inadequate inside of our bodies. We don’t treat our sacred vessels with the respect that they deserve and we feel ashamed of the beautiful curves and soft edges that make our bodies so beautiful to look at. 

Such practices can include things like a morning ritual like gua sha or going to a women’s yoga class. These practices will help you to feel relaxed, bringing you into a more yin state of being.

Having an established set of self-care practices will help you to find balance and to feel feminine. They balance the two energies within you when there is an imbalance. And, they encourage self-love and a healthier, more loving relationship with your body. 

A confident, comfortable woman transmits powerful feminine energy.


So there we have it – my 6 steps to becoming more feminine today.

In this article, we have seen how feminine energy works, and how the current 21st-century culture is suppressing and stifling it. We have seen how it can help to attract a good man and also how its absence can be repelling to men.

If you implement the advice in this article and manage to drop more into your inner feminine, you can improve your relationship or attract a wonderful man. A high-quality man, with healthy masculine qualities, who honors you, protects you, and wants to devour you in bed.

If you are reading this article because you are in a relationship and you have lost the spark, try the above tips for revitalizing and increasing polarity. 

If things are still not right between you, then your man could be lacking in masculine energy. If this is the case, you can suggest to your man that he completes my free masterclass for men.

My training helps men to reignite their masculine energy, enter unparalleled levels of love and amp up their sex life – big time! 

I spent years studying tantra on a deep level. Since then I have worked with many men and helped them to transform themselves, their relationships, and their sex lives. I have compiled the most essential information inside this training. 

It’s completely free! If you think you and your man could benefit – he can watch my free training here.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it mean to be in your feminine energy?

Being in your feminine energy means that you are moving through life in your way, and receiving more guidance from within than from outside. Following intuition and listening to your emotions also brings you closer to femininity.

What is strong female energy?

Strong female energy can show up in men or women, regardless of gender. It is fluid, like water, and brimming with creativity, feelings, and ideas. 

What are sacred feminine and masculine energies?

Sacred feminine energy is the energy of Shakti – the divine feminine. Feminine energy is receptive, creative energy. Sacred masculine energy is the energy of Shiva. Masculine energy is logical, rigid, dependable, and steadfast. Regardless of gender, it is possible to embody both masculine and feminine divine energy.

What has feminine energy got to do with being a mother?

The traits associated with the divine feminine are also those associated with motherhood. Nurturing, caring, loving, soft, open, and emotional. 

What exactly is feminine energy, and what does being feminine mean?

Feminine energy is simply the vibe you give off. It has little to do with appearance and everything to do with personality traits and qualities. Being a feminine woman means being soft, kind, emotional, dynamic, and often a little unpredictable.

What ways are your favorites to feel more feminine and bring more feminine energy into your own life?

Go with the flow. Surrender to the infinite possibilities of life. Engaging in energy work is also a great way of bringing more feminine energy into your own life. Most women make wonderful healers. They simply need awakening to their healing powers. Energy work brings out their nurturing, caring side.

How can you design a morning practice to cultivate feminine energy?

There are many yoga teachers out there giving online classes or tutorials for women’s yoga. Find someone whose energy resonates with you and take inspiration from them.

What is the most damaging masculine trait for a woman to have?

In my time as a coach, the most damaging masculine trait I have seen women embody is control. When a woman feels threatened or insecure (wounded feminine) she often wants to control her man to pull him closer. This has the opposite effect of pushing him away.

Why is the sacred feminine so important to connect to?

Connecting to the sacred feminine means that you will operate from your highest possible vibration as a woman. This will make your life easier and more beautiful. You will also be more attractive to masculine men.

What does it mean to embrace your feminine energy?

Moving through life with grace. Bowing to uncertainty and the following intuition. Surrendering to the inner feminine means operating from the heart rather than the head.


Unleash the secrets of your inner fire of willpower, harness your sacred sexual energy, and embody healthy masculine energy.

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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

I am the founder of The Tantric Man Experience™, a pioneering transformational coaching program for men. With over 1500 hours of certified tantra training in India and Thailand and 7 years of experience helping hundreds of men worldwide save their marriages and reignite passion in their love lives.

I have over 8 million views on YouTube and have been featured on VICE and Newstalk Radio for my life’s work - helping men unleash their full masculine potential.

My holistic FLT method seamlessly integrates ancient tantric philosophy with my modern expertise in relationships, sexuality, dating, and men’s health.

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