Dial Up Your Feminine Energy To Attract A Man And Dream Relationship

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Aug 22, 2022
feminine energy

What if I told you that it is not your looks or your charisma that first attracts a man to you – but your feminine energy?

In today’s article, we will discuss what feminine energy is and why it often becomes suppressed in the 21st Century. Today I will give you techniques for enhancing your feminine energy and increasing sexual polarity. I will also describe how feminine energy inside of a relationship works and how you can use it to enhance your relationship. If you are single, I will explain how you can use your feminine energy to attract a good man.

Introduction to feminine energy

In the current day and age, we are bombarded by images of beautiful women. It is easy to compare. Society has led us to believe that in order to attract a good man you need to be physically beautiful.

This is in fact not the case. Men are actually attracted to women because of their divine feminine energy. This is due to the influence and power of sexual polarity. Polarity essentially means opposites. In terms of attraction, this means that the divine feminine is attracted to the divine masculine, and vice versa. A woman embodying the sacred feminine will be operating from her feminine power. This makes her very attracted to a man with strong male energy.

Therefore it is not how a woman looks or dresses that makes her stand out from the crowd. Rather it is her feminine qualities and her feminine traits.

Feminine energy can seem like quite an abstract, airy concept at first. When we take a closer look, however, we will see that actually the concept of feminine vs masculine energy both inside and outside the context of a relationship makes perfect sense.

What is feminine energy?

Stripped down to its most fundamental and basic core, feminine energy is love. The feminine rests in the energy of love, whilst the masculine rests in the energy of consciousness.

The feminine is the Mother. She is the creator, giver, and bearer of life. The feminine is the carer, the maternal figure who loves unconditionally and wholeheartedly.

A feminine woman is dynamic, flowing, and always moving. This woman said to be in her feminine is in a state of flow. This can even be reflected in the way that she dresses. Think of clothing that is said to be feminine. Usually, it is draping, soft, and flowing – just like feminine energy.

Imagine the image of the Virgin Mary holding baby Jesus. The gentle look in her eyes, the overflowing unconditional love for her child. Those soft, flowing drapes of her white and blue robes. The Virgin Mary is a perfect representation of the archetype of the feminine.

A woman who is truly embodying her feminine essence is a woman who is following her heart.

She is acutely intuitive, walking into the unknown with complete faith. Her essence is one of divine femininity and she surrenders to the infinite possibilities of life. She creates. Through her creativity she expresses emotion and omits Goddess energy – Shakti energy.

She is dynamic and moves between emotional states rapidly and often without warning or explanation. Her emotionality makes her soft, feeling and full of compassion.

feminine energy

Personality traits associated with feminine energy

Both men and women have masculine and feminine energy within them. Usually, a person tends to lean more towards one side than the other.

A woman with more feminine aspects to her personality will embody more of the sacred feminine energy.

On the other hand, a woman with more masculine qualities will embody more of the sacred masculine energy.

Neither is right or wrong, BUT in terms of sexual polarity and harmonious relationships, women should be more feminine whilst men should be more masculine.

How to know if you’re operating from your feminine or masculine side? It depends on your approach to life and the qualities of your personality.

Masculine energy traits are: presence, confidence, logic, ration, security, honesty, trustworthiness, reliability, achieving, dominant.


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Wounded masculine traits are: controlling, giving, aggressive, defensive, competitive and unstable.

Feminine energy traits are: dynamic, flowing, receptive, open, intuitive, trusting, creative, passive, authentic, caring, vulnerable and supportive.

Wounded feminine traits are: insecure, needy, co dependent, unstable, overly emotional.

Feminine energy vs masculine energy and polarity

Sexuality expert David Deida describes how feminine energy is centered around values such as love, kindness, and partnership. Contrastingly, masculine energy values organization, structure, routine, achievement, and rigidity. This does not mean that all men are simply achievers and all women are simply givers of love and partnership. Human beings are by nature multi-faceted. A man can be more in his feminine energy and a woman more in her masculine. We can also spend our lives transitioning between the two. Usually, however, we favor one or the other.

A woman who is working 10 hours a day in a busy corporate office role is probably operating from her masculine side. She could be managing a team of staff, delegating tasks, and holding a lot of responsibility. This woman is likely to be emulating the same kind of rigid, controlling, demanding energy at home.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with this. Plenty of women boss it at work, boss it at home, and live happy lives.

This kind of behavior can however cause issues in a relationship. 

Dialing down the masculine, turning up the feminine

Let’s go back to the example of the woman above. It’s a common realization that in order to climb the career ladder and get to the top, you might need to step on some toes. She might even annoy some people along the way. We don’t come to work to make friends, right?

She is emotionally uninvolved in her work. Her calendar is packed out. Each week presents a new set of meetings. She conducts 1:1’s with each of her team in which she is setting tasks, working with timelines, and delegating. There are personal and team targets to meet. All of this requires a lot of organization and careful time management. She relies on logic and method in order to get things done. A woman like this is very much in her masculine. Logic, order, structure, achievement, emotional detachment, and organization are very masculine traits.

This attitude might well get her ahead in the workplace. However, if this carries over into her relationships or her dating life, it can cause issues. This woman may exert the same level of control, logic, and leadership inside of her relationship. Inevitably this will bring tension, arguments, and a loss of romantic spark. When a woman carries the same energy as her partner, they will energetically repel each other and clash. If she is searching for a high-quality male partner, she is unlikely to have much success!

Why is this?! It is because, in order to have the healthiest relationship and to be attractive to the best men, we need polarity!

feminine energy

What is polarity?

The idea of polarity between a man and a woman boils down to a very basic and Universal principle. Opposites attract.

When there is polarity between two people, we experience the meeting of both yin and yang energies. There is mutual cooperation and balance. Deep sexual intimacy is abundant. Sexual chemistry flows. Lovemaking is intensely passionate, steamy, and wild.

A feminine quality eg. receptive is usually the opposite to a masculine quality eg. giving. In this way, a woman with female energy and a man with male energy will perfectly complement each other.

A masculine man will experience feelings of deep attraction, desire, and lust towards a feminine woman. Men can taste, touch, sense, and feel this essence that she carries. He might not be able to explain the reason, but he won’t be able to keep his eyes, his mind, or his hands off her.

Inside of a relationship, when feminine energy is balanced with masculine energy there is harmony. There is flow, smoothness, and intense attraction. A fully tantric relationship relies on the polarities of masculine and feminine. The masculine is looking for that which it lacks. This is to be found inside of the feminine.

How to dial up your feminine energy to become more attractive or improve your relationship

The workplace is a hugely masculine-dominant space. Women often need to dip into their masculinity in order to be financially independent and successful. However, women can simultaneously surrender control in their personal life. It is possible to boss it at work and still show up for your partner with vulnerability, sensitivity, tenderness, and love.

Is this speaking to you? Do you think you could do with switching on a little more feminine energy? Luckily, energy can never be created or destroyed. Your feminine energy is inside of you. You just need to activate it. To do so, try some of these techniques

3 techniques to dial up your feminine energy

1) Get comfortable with your emotions!

Inside of the workplace or when dealing with clients, a cold, emotionless, detached attitude is deemed most appropriate. When it comes to your personal life, however, you should leave this belief at the door.

The masculine is naturally colder and more rigid than the feminine. A masculine man is attracted to a sweet and loving, nurturing, and feminine woman.

During a conversation with your partner, try and sink into a little more softness and vulnerability. If you have had a rough day or are worried about something – tell him about it.

If you are meeting a man for the first time, instead of reeling off a list of your achievements and selling yourself, show a little of your emotional intelligence. Get personal and tell your date a meaningful story about yourself instead.

2) Stop gossiping!

Think back to the archetype of the feminine we looked at earlier – The Virgin Mary. Do you think she was one to gossip and talk s**t about people? Absolutely not. The feminine is associated with unconditional love and kindness – there is no place for gossip inside of these values.

Instead of engaging with your partner or date in unkind, pointless gossip, focus on the positive, and say good things about others instead. He will definitely see you in a different light.

3) Learn to go with the flow

This is possibly the most important and relates back to one of the main qualities of feminine energy – motion.

The masculine is stillness whilst the feminine is motion, flow, and dynamism.

Nothing is less attractive to a man than a woman who is rigid, controlling, and detail-oriented. Inside of your relationship and your dating life, try to lean away from organization and control. Instead, try to lean into open-mindedness, spontaneity, and seeing the bigger picture. Let go of that which you are unable to control and most importantly – TRUST. After all, the Universe has a plan for you, so stop getting in the way and relax a little.

feminine energy


In this article, we have seen how feminine energy works. We have seen how it can help to attract a good man. We have discussed how to harness our feminine energy inside of a relationship and use it to raise polarity and restore balance.

We have seen how feminine energy can easily become suppressed from having to spend the majority of our lives inside a very masculine-dominant workplace.

If you implement the advice in this article and manage to drop more into your feminine, you can improve your relationship or attract a man. Not just any man either – a high quality, masculine man who honors you, protects you, and wants to devour you in bed.

If you are reading this article because you are in a relationship and you have lost the spark, try the above tips for revitalizing and increasing polarity. If things are still not right between you, it could be time to accept that you need to end the relationship and move on. If this doesn’t feel like an option and you really want the relationship to work, you could suggest to your partner that he completes my free online tantra training for me.

My training includes an easy, 5-step strategy to rekindle the spark, fall in love with each other again and amp up your sex life – big time! I spent years studying tantra on a deep level. Since then I have worked with many men and helped them to transform themselves, their relationships, and their sex lives. I have compiled the most essential information inside this training. It’s completely free! If you think you and your man could benefit – he can sign up by clicking here.


What does it mean to embrace your feminine energy?

Moving through life with grace. Bowing to uncertainty and following intuition. Surrendering to the inner feminine means operating from the heart rather than the head.

What are sacred feminine and masculine energies?

Sacred feminine energy is the energy of Shakti – the divine feminine. Feminine energy is receiving, creative energy. Sacred masculine energy is the energy of Shiva. Masculine energy is logical, rigid, dependable and steadfast. Regardless of gender, it is possible to embody both masculine and feminine divine energy.

Feminine energy, what has that got to do with being a mother?

The traits associated with the divine feminine are also those associated with motherhood. Nurturing, caring, loving, soft, open and emotional.

What exactly is feminine energy, and what does being feminine really mean?

Feminine energy is simply the vibe you give off. It has little to do with appearance and everything to do with personality traits and qualities. Being a feminine woman means being soft, kind, emotional, dynamic and often a little unpredictable 😉

Why is the sacred feminine so important to connect to?

Connecting to the sacred feminine means that you will operate from your highest possible vibration as a woman. This will make your life easier and more beautiful. You will also be more attractive to masculine men.

Will you be taken seriously in the workplace if you dress feminine?

It depends on the individuals around you.

What to do when you feel threatened by other women?

Remember that the women by whom you feel threatened are only human. They are probably just as insecure as you are.

What ways are your favorites to feel more feminine and bring more feminine energy into your own life?

Go with the flow. Surrender to the infinite possibilities of life. Engaging in energy work is also a great way of bringing more feminine energy into your own life. Most women make wonderful healers. They simply need awakening to their healing powers. Energy work brings out their nurturing, caring side.

How can you design a morning practice to cultivate feminine energy?

There are many yoga teachers out there giving online classes or tutorials for women’s yoga. Find someone whose energy resonates with you and take inspiration from them.

What is the most damaging masculine trait for a woman to have?

In my time as a coach, the most damaging masculine trait I have seen women embody is control. When a woman feels threatened or insecure (wounded feminine) she often wants to control her man to pull him closer. This has the opposite effect of pushing him away.

Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Relationship Coach

Steffo is the founder of The Tantric Man Experience, the #1 masculine mentorship program in the world. There he helps men in relationships reignite the passion to restore their marriages from the brink of divorce. And single men attract their dream women naturally with success. He's on a mission to guide men towards an intimate and meaningful relationship, and end the war with their sexuality, so they can finally become integrated men, fathers, brothers, husbands, and leaders in the world.

“It meant a paradigm shift in life.” – Patrik, Sweden
“Life-changing experience.” – Antonio, Italy

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