What are the eight words no man wants to hear from his lover in bed?
“Don’t worry. It happens to lots of men.”
Fundamentally, those words are true. Premature ejaculation DOES happen to lots of men. But that does not mean that it isn’t something you want to address in your sex life. Uncontrolled ejaculation or early ejaculation during sexual intercourse can be embarrassing, humiliating, and can even put men off seeking out connections that could end up in the bedroom. It can cause performance anxiety, affect your relationships, your work, and your mental health.
Read on for my free ejaculation control course.
Table of Contents
- What Is Ejaculation Control?
- Ejaculation Control Training: Is it For Me?
- Can Men Control Ejaculation?
- How To Control Ejaculation
- Ejaculation Control Training Step 1: How Lifestyle Changes Help Control Ejaculation
- Ejaculation Control Training Step 2: Control Ejaculation With Belly Breathing
- Ejaculation Control Training Step 3: Practice in Your Masturbation
- Ejaculation Control Training Step 4: How Pelvic Floor Exercises Help Control Ejaculation
- Ejaculation Control Training Step 5: Testicle Breathing Exercise to Last Longer
- Ejaculation Control Training Summary
- Find Out More About Ejaculation Control Training
- Check Out More Free Training
What is ejaculation control?
Ejaculation control training is adopting a series of exercises and techniques to prevent premature ejacuation and delay their orgasam. Men who are able to master these techniques last longer during sex and enhance both their own and their partner’s pleasure.
Ejaculation control training: is it for me?
There are lots of reasons why men want to master orgasm control to last longer in bed and banish premature ejaculation from their lives. It can enhance their own sexual pleasure leading to a natural increase in serotonin levels and a more intense orgasm. It can enhance their partner’s sexual satisfaction. But more than both of these, it can give you a real sense of masculine self-confidence that you can then carry into your everyday life. A man who can last for hours in bed can walk into any boardroom or business situation feeling confident, in control, and in touch with their own sexual energy.
Similarly, if a man suffers from male sexual dysfunction, this can create problems in all areas of his life.
Can men control ejaculation?
The simple answer is yes. But it isn’t something that is instant and straightforward.
All of those tips that guys have given you in the locker room? Recite the alphabet backward? Think of someone unattractive? Forget about them. Tricks like this are coming too late in the day to keep the wolf from the door for anything for more than a few seconds.
Instead, you need to start much earlier, making changes to your life that begin to move you away from the stressful, hectic everyday world. If you are able to do this you can:
- Address erectile dysfunction without the need for drugs or potions
- Control ejaculation, deciding if, when, and how often you orgasm
- Last longer in bed
- Enhance your own sexual pleasure
- Enhance your partner’s sexual pleasure.
How to control ejaculation
I have put together this Ejaculation Control Training Course to give you some easy starting ideas for how you can take a 5-step approach to controlling your ejaculation and learn to last longer in bed. The 5-steps are:
- Change your lifestyle.
- Spend 5 minutes a day practicing “Belly breaths”.
- Incorporate breathing practice into your masturbation routine
- Practice Pelvic Floor Exercises once a day.
- Spend 10 minutes a day practicing Testicle Breathing.
If you read on, commit the time needed, and do these exercises each day, then within a few weeks you will be more in control of your orgasm, and able to last longer in bed.
Ejaculation control training step 1: how lifestyle changes help control ejaculation
Those stresses and strains are often a root cause of premature ejaculation or a loss of control in bed. We all live in a hyper-stimulated world. Too little exercise. Too much coffee or alcohol.
But if you aren’t in control in other areas of your life, don’t expect to be in control when you are in the bedroom either. To really last longer in bed and start your ejaculation control training, you need to begin by recentring. By reconnecting with the world in a way that has a more natural pace.
So many problems with premature ejaculation actually start here. The pace and nature of modern life mean that we are also often in what is known as ‘flight or fight’ mode. This is sometimes a very helpful biological response that kept our ancestors safe when a saber-toothed tiger stepped out in front of them.
In the modern world, there are no saber-toothed tigers. But we are all more stressed than ever. These stresses come from all sorts of different directions. A big presentation at work. A problem with your car. WiFi not working.
A biological response that was originally there to keep us safe from predators kicks in just the same. When we face these stresses the body’s sympathetic nervous system releases a flood of hormones and stimulates the adrenal glands. If you take that level of stress and anxiety into the bedroom, then start worrying about your performance, then that is a sure-fire recipe for early ejaculation.
The first practical step you can take to start lasting longer in bed is to destress your life. Go for a walk in nature. Swap out that coffee for water. Improve your diet. Cut down on alcohol.
On their own, these won’t make you instantly last longer in bed, but these sorts of changes provide a solid foundation for the next steps.
Ejaculation control training step 2: control ejaculation with belly breathing
Breath control is absolutely key to lasting longer in bed. Learning how to breath from your belly, rather than your chest, can help center you during all of the arousal that comes with sex and prevents you from becoming over-stimulated.
If you have ever practiced any yoga or meditation, you will be familiar with the important role that breathing plays in connecting you to your body. If you haven’t, don’t worry, there are some really simple belly breathing exercises you can do to learn. These are all concentrated on reducing tension by taking your body out of the flight or fight stage.
The first step is to become more aware of how you breathe and where you are breathing from. Most people breathe through their chests.
This shallow chest breathing is not great for control. In fact, it is exactly what you do when you are excited or scared or overstimulated. Once more you are sending your body a flight or fight signal.
Much better is to breathe from your belly or diaphragm. Deeper slower breaths.
Spend just 5 or 10 minutes practicing this each day. Count your breaths whilst you are doing it. This helps focus your mind.
One of the causes of premature ejaculation is over-stimulation. You are there. She is there. Let’s face it – IT IS HOT. You think about that too much and your body goes into overdrive. All of that excitement has to go somewhere and usually it goes straight to your cock. Even the most minimal sexual stimulation can lead to rapid ejaculation.
Breath control and being in the moment can really help. It can focus you on your own body. Increase your awareness of how you are feeling in that precise moment. This takes practice, but that is something you should first practice alone rather than with your partner.
Ejaculation control training step 3: practice in your masturbation
I really do not recommend taking this technique straight into the bedroom with your partner. Practice it alone first. Find the time and space to explore sexual stimulation. No porn or external stimulation should be used. Porn is one of the things that overstimulates men leading to early orgasm. Just your mind and body.
Touch yourself whilst really focusing on your breathing. Count your breaths. Take your time. This is not a race to the finish line. Learn how focusing on your breathing can center you and place you in a less stimulated mindset.
Once you become familiar with the technique on your own then it is something you will easily be able to take into your love-making.
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Ejaculation control training step 4: how pelvic floor exercises help control ejaculation
Pelvic floor exercises are only for women, right?
Strengthening your pelvic floor muscle (sometimes called pc muscle) is a great way to last longer in bed, and to achieve delayed ejaculation and orgasm.
This is because just before orgasm your prostate starts to contract. Training your body to relax your pelvic floor can slow this process, bring you back from the edge and avoid early orgasm.
At the heart of this are exercises known as “Kegels” and “Reverse Kegels.”
Standard Kegels focus on contracting and releasing the pelvic muscles. Reverse Kegels on releasing and relaxing the pelvic floor muscles. Both types of kegel exercise can balance your pelvic floor and help you last longer in bed, but Reverse Kegels are particularly important.
Practice doing these by pressing down with your abdomen towards your pelvic floor. The easiest way to explain this is to imagine you are urinating and you want it to come out faster. It is that action and pressure that is a Reverse Kegel.
As with the breathing exercises, take a three-step approach. Firstly, spend 10 minutes a day practicing the exercise. Then incorporate it into your masturbation, to learn how to align it with the breathing techniques set out above. Only once you have mastered it alone should you introduce it into sex with your partner.
In an intimate sexual encounter, you can incorporate these techniques into lovemaking, lasting much longer even during vaginal penetration.
Ejaculation control training step 5: testicle breathing exercise to last longer
The final thing I want to highlight that can really help you to last longer in bed and delay ejaculation is something that I call ‘Testicle Breathing’.
Testicle breathing is a way of connecting the sexual energy in your balls to the sexual energy in your brain. Not only can it help you deal with ejaculatory dysfunction, but it can also really deepen and enhance sexual pleasure for you and your partner.
Start by choosing some very loose clothing, or if you are able to wear nothing at all even better! Your balls spend too long locked up. It is time to liberate them!
Next, stand up and take a number of deep breaths. As you are doing this, visualize the energy from the air flowing all the way down the center of your body into your testicles. At the same time contract your balls upwards, trying to gently move them towards your belly button. Then as you breathe out, relax the balls downwards.
After the ninth breath, take a big inhalation all the way down to the stomach and hold it. Contract your pelvic floor upwards, press your tongue against the top of your mouth and close your eyes. Use that moment to visualize how all of that energy is flowing upwards from your balls to your head.
Testicle breathing follow along video
Look, it is probably easier to show you than tell you! Click onto the YouTube video that I made to go with this course that shows you how to do this intense and insanely powerful practice:
Ejaculation control training summary
So, there you have it. My simple ejaculation control training, the 5 step approach to controlling your ejaculation and lasting longer in bed.
Let’s go over what we have learned.
- Make some lifestyle changes. Change what you eat and drink. Get out into nature more.
- Learn to breath from your belly. Remember, shallow chest breathing is tricking your body into a state of enhanced stimulation. Use belly breathing to slow things down. Spend at least 5 minutes a day practicing “belly breaths”.
- Incorporate breathing practice into your masturbation routine. When you learn to do that then you are ready to take things to the next level and try them with your partner.
- Practice Pelvic Floor Exercises once a day for 10 minutes. You can do these at your desk, on the bus or train, or in bed at night.
- Spend 10 minutes a day practicing Testicle Breathing. Create the time and space to learn how to focus your sexual energy.
When you add it up, this is less than half an hour a day. That is not a massive time commitment, and the results are absolutely worth it.
I promise you, if you do all of these things, every day, then you will make rapid progress. Within just three weeks you will notice a difference to how long you are able to last with your lover.
Find out more about ejaculation control training
I hope you have enjoyed reading my Ejaculation Control Course and that it helps you learn to delay your orgasm, heightening both your own and your partner’s pleasure.
There is lots of information online about how to deal with premature ejaculation and to delay orgasm. I warn you now, that most of it is not only ineffective but actually counterproductive or even harmful.
There are too many self-styled ‘experts’ who claim to offer quick fixes to premature ejaculation.Too much of this information focuses only on the physical rather than the spiritual side of your sexuality. The approaches these guys promote do absolutely nothing to really help you become the man you can be, and a man who women want to be with. And, let’s face it, there is no point being able to last longer in bed if you are waking up alone or, even worse, next to a partner who no longer desires you sexually.
That is what people often forget. The most important part of creating an incredible sex-life is being with someone you desire, and who desires you. Drawing a partner back to you, or connecting with someone new, is not just about learning a new trick to help you last longer in bed. It is about finding a way to tap into your natural masculine energy to let you connect with your soulmate in a deep, spiritual way. That not only leads to better, deeper and more intense sexual connection, but it also can create real connections with friends and family, and drive transformational change in other areas of your life.
Check out more free training
To help guys understand and tackle these issues, I have put together some more free training. It explains how harnessing your sexual energy can help you to find a true soulmate, or reconnect with a long-term partner who feels to be drifting away. It has helped so many guys who felt that nothing would ever work for them, helping them become better lovers, and husbands, and fathers. It could help you too.
Can depression cause erectile dysfunction?
Most sexual dysfunction is a mental rather than a physical issue. That is why mind and body need to work together. Sex Therapy, psychological therapy, or behavioral therapy can sometimes help, but it is better to focus on treatment that is more holistic.
How does premature ejaculation change sexual activity?
Men can become withdrawn and avoid sexual activity and penetration. Some men have lifelong premature ejaculation issues. It can leave both you and your partner frustrated.
How often should a man release sperm?
It varies. Some studies say 2-4 times a week is good for sexual health. But increasingly there are some health benefits associated with sperm retention.
How long should it take you to come?
Studies suggest that intravaginal ejaculatory latency time, (the time taken by a man to ejaculate during vaginal penetration) lasts on average between 3-7 minutes. However, some men who use these techniques can last much longer.
What is the best drug for erectile dysfunction?
Medication only really masks the problem. They also create a blockage between balls and the brain. Instead of medical treatment, a more holistic, natural approach is always better and more long-lasting.
What is acquired premature ejaculation?
Acquired premature ejaculation develops after you’ve had previous sexual experience without ejaculatory problems. It is often caused by psychological factors such as depression rather than issues such as blood flow. These are often treated with a tricyclic antidepressant such as clomipramine or an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) based antidepressant.
Men's Relationship Coach
Steffo is the founder of The Tantric Man Experience, the #1 masculine mentorship program in the world. There he helps men in relationships reignite the passion to restore their marriages from the brink of divorce. And single men attract their dream women naturally with success. He's on a mission to guide men towards an intimate and meaningful relationship, and end the war with their sexuality, so they can finally become integrated men, fathers, brothers, husbands, and leaders in the world.
“It meant a paradigm shift in life.” – Patrik, Sweden
“Life-changing experience.” – Antonio, Italy