9 Best Tinder Openers For Creating An Intimate Conversation

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Apr 11, 2024


Some people love it. Others hate it. And both for good reason…

But whichever camp you fall into, Tinder (everything in this article also applies to the other dating app giants such as Bumble, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, etc) is here to stay.

And you have one chance at your opening line.

Get your opening line right, and you’ll be well on your way to a first date.

Get it wrong, and you most likely won’t even get the grace of a response.

That’s why I’m here today – for you – with the best Tinder openers for men.

But not just any factory-line, cheesy rubbish. There are plenty of articles providing that out there. Just do a quick google search and you’ll see.

I have curated just 9, simple Tinder openers have been carefully crafted to actually get responses, and start actual conversations with high-quality women.

I put together this list by talking to real women about how they use dating apps, and what kind of message makes them want (and not want) to respond to a match.

Opening lines are so much more than just words

But before we get into what the best Tinder openers for men are, let’s set the scene.

There are plenty of articles out there that simply reel off a list of Tinder openers you can use to hook a woman in.

But at these, I raise an eyebrow and hesitate as to their success…

Because although a Tinder opener from one of these might well get you a response (and hey, when we are getting ghosted so much of the time, this is not to be scoffed at!) if you don’t know how to craft the conversation after that, it’s probably not going to get you what you want – an actual date.

Your Tinder opener needs to demonstrate that you possess the qualities and traits that a woman is looking for in a man.

You will not learn how to do this just by plucking a tinder opener out of thin air and using it.

First, you need to learn a little bit about how women work, what they look out for, and what they want.

This particularly applies when using dating apps. The experience of a woman on Tinder is vastly different from that of a man. So to play the game with a high chance of success, you must understand this, and learn the rules.

And that’s what we’re about to get into…

Online dating as a man can suck


Sorry for the bleak-sounding heading. But I think you’ll probably agree with me.

Online dating as a man can suck (read: suuuuuuuuck!).

Being ignored and ghosted becomes something of an inevitability in our daily lives.

When this becomes a seemingly unbreakable pattern, it can start to create low self-esteem and impact manly confidence.

I guess that if you are reading this article, your online dating game is a bit lacking. Maybe you are starting to wonder if it’s all just a waste of time, and whether your chances of getting a date are better in the ‘real world’.

Well, I don’t discourage you from trying to meet a woman in real life. There are many reasons why it’s a better option. And it can create a beautiful opening story to your time together.

As British comedian-turned-philosopher Russell Brand quotes in this thought-provoking video, it is projected that 50% of all couples will meet on a dating app by the year 2025.

For those of us who don’t go to bars, work from home, or are just quieter and more shy, they offer a wealth of opportunity at our fingertips.  

Women tend to think this way too.


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

For a woman, being approached by guys can be just as nerve-wracking, awkward, and uncomfortable as it is for the guy to approach her. Especially if she has to turn him down.

Hence I think it’s best to just adapt how we use them, instead of completely writing them off.

So you need to get with the game, or you will end up losing.

And that is the last thing I want for my readers!

I want you to approach online dating and dating apps from a place of knowledge, power, and strategy.

Dating apps CAN work for you.

You just need to know a little about what effective Tinder openers are and are not. And luckily, that is why I have written this article on the best Tinder openers.

The female experience of dating apps vs the male experience

Let’s look at a few statistics about online dating.

These might help to explain a little bit about why your Tinder attempts haven’t been going as well as expected.

Firstly, did you know that 70-80% of Tinder users are men? This leaves only 20-30% being women. And some estimates put the figure as even more skewed than this, saying that it’s closer to a 90-10 split.


This means that for every woman using Tinder, there are up to 9 men! That’s a lot of competition for the best girls.

And although it might seem like there is a plethora of choices out there, this is not quite the case.

When you’re using some cheesy pick up line or a silly Tinder opener, you are letting the other guys with thought-provoking or funny Tinder openers win the best women.

Another interesting statistic is that women tend to match with 80-90% of the men they swipe right to.

For men, this is less than 10%. This means that women select 4% of the men they see.

It also means that women get WAY more matches than men get.

9 times as many!

So for every woman that you are chatting with, she is (possibly) chatting to 9 more potential dates.

Women, therefore, are far less attached to the prospect of actually going on a date with a man they meet on Tinder.

They value each match far less due to the sheer volume that they are getting. Whilst for a man, it is completely the opposite scenario.

No wonder we’re getting ghosted and ignored left, right, and center! And this only drives home my point even more. That first Tinder message is crucial… You NEED to come up with a good opening line, or conversation starter since you need to catch her attention.

A few tips about creating an interesting profile

Before I address Tinder openers, I want to briefly explain how to create a good profile.

So many men fail at this very first stage, and it is easy to build a decent Tinder card if you know the key ingredients.

Select the best possible photos

In terms of photos, these are possibly the most important aspects of your Tinder game.

Looks will get you through the door, and personality will welcome you into the room.

But before we tackle how to demonstrate that you’ve got personality through a good Tinder opener, you need to get through the door!


Firstly, make your photos eye-catching.

Ensure that you have a good profile picture, showing your best side.

The most attractive photos are usually taken in natural light. So shoot for this if possible.

Your remaining photos should exhibit your exciting personality.

They should give a clear depiction of your hobbies, passions, and ideally your sense of humor.

When flicking through your photos, a woman is likely asking herself, “Is this someone I would enjoy spending time with?” … “Would we be compatible”… “Do we share a similar outlook on life?”

So if all of your Tinder pictures are of you holding a pint of beer on nights out, a woman will most likely think that boozing is your only hobby. Plus it’s Boring.

And she will swipe left.

Show your best self.

But most importantly, show your REAL self.

Don’t be afraid to be a little ‘out there’, either.

The aim is to cast a relatively small net, and therefore attract the real thing.

Write a unique and interesting bio

When it comes to writing bios, most men are quite frankly appalling at writing a bio.

Trust me.

I’ve spoken to many women about this!

And the consensus is that if a guy has an empty bio, or he has written “don’t like writing bios, just ask me anything you want to know”, then this is one of the biggest red flags of all.

Both of these things are underpinned by a big assumption.

The assumption that a woman has got nothing better to do than ask you questions about yourself.

It denotes a sense of entitlement to her time, attention, and energy.

Maybe you didn’t intend it to come across this way, but a high-quality woman will interpret it as being obnoxious.

Your bio doesn’t need to be an essay.

But it should include at least a few lines or bullet points about the type of person you are and the things you enjoy doing (drinking IPA and Sunday mornings in bed do not count).

Any little quirky characteristics, traits, or facts about you are going to make you stand out.

What kind of tinder opener not to use?

When it comes to great Tinder openers, what they are not is some unimaginative, boring-ass sh*t like “How are you”, or “How was your day”. Nor are they cheesy pick up lines.

I often ask myself, do guys realize how incredibly boring and unoriginal this is making them sound!?? Who wants to go on a date with someone boring and unoriginal?

I think most of us know that this kind of Tinder opener sucks.

But we keep resorting to it due to not knowing any better.


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

What are the best kind of tinder openers?

In terms of the best Tinder openers, it’s less about what you say, and more about what your words are saying about YOU.

The best Tinder openers create good first impressions, and should convey the following three things:

  1. That you have read her WHOLE profile, and not just scroll through the pictures
  2. That you are worthy of her giving you her time and energy
  3. That there is something unique about you, that sets you apart from other guys and intrigues her.

How to start a conversation with the first tinder message

I shouldn’t even have to write this.

It should be such simple, evident knowledge…

But many guys don’t appear to know how to start a conversation. In addition to the above three criteria, the first message should be a conversation starter.

Effective Tinder openers are engaging. They are a personal message designed to bring about captivating conversations.


Things like “You look amazing in your profile pic”, “How are you”, or “How’s your week been” are NOT conversation starters.

Even though you think the last two might well be, I can assure you, they are not.

Don’t agree with me?

Ask yourself this question: since when has asking a stranger “How are you” brought about anything even remotely captivating in terms of a conversation?

I rest my case.

To start a conversation, you need to ask an open-ended question. And you also (ideally)) need to be funny.

Funny tinder openers: the best tinder openers convey your sense of humor

Ask any woman on the street what her 3 main criteria for a long-term partner are.

I would almost be willing to guarantee you that she will include a sense of humor.


Life is long.

It can also be hard and sad at times.

Hence we tend to gravitate toward a partner who will make us laugh.

So that we can smile through some of the bad times, as well as the good.

Hence a great Tinder opener will move a conversation forward, and also be funny.

Don’t get ahead of yourself

Don’t ask her out too soon!

A lot of guys (understandably) get very excited when they match and jump straight into asking her out.

Remember, she’s matching with more people than you are.

She needs to be selective about who she gives her time to.

Be the one who stands out by NOT jumping the gun.

Get to know her a bit online first. I know it’s frustrating!!

You want to skip the chit-chat and the chance of getting ghosted and just go straight to a face-to-face meeting.

But she probably has a bunch of guys asking her out without giving her any tangible evidence, in the form of an online conversation, that she is not going to be wasting her time and energy.

So you need to put in some effort with those first Tinder messages and move the conversation forward without immediately pressuring her to meet you.


Carefully crafting your Tinder opener will ensure you the best chance of success in securing that face time with her.

And after that first date, the sky is the limit for how far your connection can go.

Best tinder openers

So guys… It’s a minefield out there.

Behind the shield of a screen, it’s easy for women to treat men in ways they wouldn’t in ‘real life’ by doing mean things like ghosting.

You have ONE chance at making a good impression via your opening line.


But I’m not going to just hand it to you by giving you a string of funny Tinder openers that you can use for a first message.

That is too cookie-cutter for me. There are plenty of (poor quality) articles you can find if you want to go down that route.

Instead, I am going to provide you with a series of malleable ideas you can use to generate a feeling of connection within your Tinder match.

These Tinder openers will be fun, flirty, and interesting questions.

They are conversation starters. They’ll break the ice, and get you miles ahead of the competition, with a much better response rate than the majority of men using a dating app.

Along with each Tinder opener, I am going to explain the reasoning behind it, and what quality or trait of yours the Tinder opener is demonstrating to your potential match.

It can be tough to show your true personality through a dating app.

And that’s why I designed these Tinder openers.

If you want to land a date with a beautiful, high-quality woman, then I suggest you bookmark this article.


What are the best tinder openers and conversation starters?

OK, let’s get going with the top 9 Tinder Openers that serves the best conversation starters:

1. What is your favorite book, and why?

Most people these days read books.

If you are reading this article now, then I guess that you are a man craving self-development and knowledge. It is also my guess that you would like to meet a woman who is also into this kind of thing.    

This Tinder opener is great because it is broad, and everyone is bound to be able to answer it. Even if they haven’t done a huge amount of reading recently.

If it sounds like she would be more of a non-fiction person, then you can ask her who authored the last non-fiction book that she read.

Or you could take a punt and ask if she has read a particular book related to X subject she mentioned in her Tinder profile.

This opening message is sure to generate a meaningful and interesting Tinder conversation. It is far more likely to generate a sense of curiosity and respect, in a way that a cheesy pickup line just can’t.

Like any good opener, it is an open-ended question and can lead you two in many different directions.

If she has stated in her profile that she likes to read, then it is even more of the perfect opener. Since this will also verify to her that you have read her whole Tinder profile.

This is very important since most women (correctly) assume that the majority of guys swipe right simply because they find her physically attractive.

But women are more than this. They are so much more. And they want to feel like a man recognizes that fact and values it.

2. What was something you learned from your past relationship, and why?

Although this might seem a little like you are diving straight into the deep end (and you are), this is a good thing. And it will work out in your favor. I promise.

Good conversation starters work by demonstrating your desire to know your match, rather than just to have somebody to listen to you talk about yourself. Save that for your guy friends.

Asking your match to tell you something that they learned from a past relationship will indicate your emotionally deep nature.

It will also demonstrate a certain humility by showing that you acknowledge that relationships always teach us something.


Emotional depth and humility are both traits that women love and are very attracted to. Who doesn’t want to be with someone they can have deep conversations with, and who is also humble?

I know it might feel risky, but starting Tinder conversations like this will make you husband material. And if it doesn’t, then she isn’t the right woman for you. Consider it a sort of filtering process.

3. What is your most embarrassing hidden talent?

Want to know how to start a conversation with a girl but are afraid of diving in too deep? You can always bring it back to basics.

Simple openers that are also funny work very well to break the ice. They also tend to get a good response rate.

Everyone loves humor. Everyone also loves talking about themselves. So if you use this kind of funny Tinder opener, you are paving the way for a fun and flirty conversation.

4. If you could give your 21-year-old self some advice right now, what would it be, and why?

This Tinder opener will show your match that you are serious about getting to know her.

Openers like this work because they are deep questions. Unfortunately, most women tend to assume that men on dating apps are shallow and just want to get them into bed.

Using this simple opener will show that you are interested in more than just the photos on her dating profile, but her personality, her history, and her inner world, too.

5. What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?

This opening line is from the same group as the one above. But is a slightly different take on it.

The best Tinder openers work by opening a small window into the other person’s world.

And this Tinder opener does precisely that.

Asking someone for the best piece of advice they were given allows them to take the reins and control the level of vulnerability at which they respond.

Are you starting to see why carefully thought-out yet also simple Tinder openers like this work so much better than cheesy pickup lines?

They work better because a pickup line says nothing about you. It shows no originality, and that no thought, care, concern, or effort has gone into your first message.

If you have been using pickup lines with your matches and have been wondering why you haven’t had much luck converting them into actual dates, this could be your answer.

6. You look like a cat person rather than a dog person. Am I right about this?

The best opening lines are lines that apply to everyone.

Almost everyone will be able to identify as loving cats or dogs more.

The way that this question is framed also leaves room for a bit of humor, teasing, and creative inspiration.

You can decide if your match looks like a cat person or a dog person. And take it from there.

It might seem like a very boring question. But questions like this are good conversation starters.

This is because they open up a broader conversation about someone’s personality traits, likes, dislikes, etc.

7. Do you want to play a fun game of truth or dare with me?

The best opening lines are also often very flirty!

There is just something undeniably sexy about someone challenging you to a game of truth or dare.

And in the sometimes monotone world of online dating, it will be sure to make you stand out from the crowd of hot girls.

If you need help coming up with the truth and the dare, then I got you covered for that too.

Truth: “How many women have you kissed… Honestly.”

Dare: “Eat a whole, raw clove of garlic”.

8. What is your dream job, and why?

If you want to know how to start a conversation, asking someone about their dream job will reveal a lot.

The common theme among all of the Tinder openers is that they are open-ended questions.

They are designed to show your interest in the human being who is holding the phone.

9. What is your favorite holiday memory?


Asking for a favorite holiday is a closed question.

That means that it could well be answered with a one-word response… “Ibiza”.

But by asking about a special memory, you are inviting emotion into the response, and cultivating vulnerability.


So there you have it.

I have given you my best 9 opening lines that are also conversation starters.

Firstly, make sure that you prime your profile to give you the best chance of success.

Choose a profile picture that casts the best light on you, both literally and metaphorically.

Men with better and more exciting photos get more matches. And Tinder is somewhat of a numbers game, so you need to make sure that you stand out.

Secondly, write a decent bio. Show your originality and the most unique and interesting parts of yourself.

Even if you think it’s a little bit weird.

This is what makes you attractive to other people.

The chances are that there will be someone out there who is a little bit weird in the same way as you. This person may have been waiting to find someone just like you.

After you’ve sorted out your profile, choose whichever Tinder opener tickles your fancy. Play your cards right. Treat her like she is an interesting and whole human being, and you’ll be well on your way to a first date.

And if you want to take care of the part that comes after the first date, look no further than my free masterclass for men.


What are good Tinder messages?

Good Tinder messages are messages that show your unique personality, humor, and warmth.

What do you say after hey on Tinder?

After hey, ask her an open-ended question. This is how to start a conversation with a girl!

How to talk to girls on Tinder?

Girls on Tinder are like girls in real life. They want to be asked questions, and for their match to show a genuine willingness to learn about how they are.

How to impress a girl on Tinder?

If you want to impress a girl on Tinder, you need to stand out among her other matches. Do this by demonstrating your caring personality, warmth, interest, and sense of humor.

How to flirt on Tinder?

An excellent way to flirt on Tinder is by introducing play! Ask your match to play a game of truth or dare with you to get things going and stand out.


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

I am the founder of The Tantric Man Experience™, a pioneering transformational coaching program for men. With over 1500 hours of certified tantra training in India and Thailand and 7 years of experience helping hundreds of men worldwide save their marriages and reignite passion in their love lives.

I have over 8 million views on YouTube and have been featured on VICE and Newstalk Radio for my life’s work - helping men unleash their full masculine potential.

My holistic FLT method seamlessly integrates ancient tantric philosophy with my modern expertise in relationships, sexuality, dating, and men’s health.

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