19 Charismatic Alpha Male Traits That Make You Attractive

Steffo Shambo

Updated on Aug 11, 2023
alpha male traits

Alpha male traits are what you need more than anything else to draw in women or keep the one you have burning for you.


Because alpha male traits create the life partner that women want. The alpha male exudes irresistible power and charm and strives towards ambitious goals. These characteristics make him successful in any project he executes. Meanwhile, and crucially, his personality traits also include being loyal and protective of those he loves.

What is an alpha male?

In the simplest terms, alpha males are men at the top social status hierarchy. However, many people disapprove of the term alpha male.

And it’s important to know why before we go any further into exploring alpha male traits.

The term was made famous by David Mech, an American biologist and author, in his 1970s book The Wolf: The Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species.

He explained his belief that alpha wolves rose through the ranks by dominating competing male wolves. He gathered that aggression and assertiveness were critical traits to attain dominance.

alpha male traits

Mech later revoked this theory and stated that alpha males claimed this role by mating and producing pups, which then became their pack.

Unfortunately, his first theory made waves and seemed to stick.

Many men ran with the initial theory.- They believe “real men” get beautiful women and make piles of cash by throwing their weight around and treating everyone as inferior.

If that’s the article you’re looking for — Tantric Academy is not where you’ll find it.

This article will explore how true alpha males attract women, become natural leaders, and succeed in their lives.

What are the real alpha male traits?

alpha male traits

Here are 19 sure signs of alpha behaviors and personality traits. These will give you guidance on how to become an alpha personality.

1. Takes charge

The key to taking charge is to remove the fear of failing.

In truth, alpha males accept their failings and see them as learnings that will fuel their development and success.

If you believe you’re not reaching your goals because of certain traits you possess — great.

You are aware of any area you need to address, which is part of any successful man’s process. By using weaknesses or limitations to your advantage, they stop becoming your defining characteristics as you learn how to become more masculine.

In the bedroom, alpha men take charge and let the woman release her inhibitions while also taking care to meet her sexual needs.

alpha male traits

A man with control over his mind instills a sense of confidence and trustworthiness.

Your self-confidence will ripple into your external world, allowing you to take charge with a bold determination. Such rigor and tenacity stimulate intrigue in the opposite sex.

2. Confident posture

For many beta males, posture is something you will need to improve.

Those who have played small in their lives will often subconsciously roll their shoulders in — to physically appear smaller, so they narrow their target to prevent getting hurt.

Tantric yoga for men helps build strength and flexibility in the body while becoming used to taking up space on the mat. A relaxed, open, and solid posture brings with it an attractive and confident air.

Turn towards the woman you are speaking to — show them that you are attentive to the conversation. Maintain eye contact with your chin up slightly. Not only does this body language exude poise, but in a data-driven research paper on facial masculinity and attractiveness, jawbone prominence increased perceived romantic attraction in the opposite sex. Tilting your chin slightly upwards creates a sharper, sexier jawline.

3. Stays in shape

alpha male traits

Devoting time and energy to your mental and physical health shows that you prioritize yourself. This is alpha male energy. The goal isn’t to be ripped and muscular or look like a Marvel character. All the same, having a fit, healthy body is an attractive by-product of looking after your holistic health.

Also, examine your diet. Look for balanced nutrition with an emphasis on whole foods. These foods are naturally higher in fiber, which means that you won’t feel the need to snack when you’re not hungry.

Also, ensure you’re getting enough polyunsaturated fat — think fatty fish such as salmon, pine nuts, pecans, and flaxseed oil. Not only do these fats contribute to overall health, but they increase blood circulation and flow, which helps significantly with libido.

4. Projects confidence

All of the steps so far lead nicely into this one. Oozing confidence instantly marks you as an alpha male. You appear self-assured and far more attractive than someone trying to avoid eye contact and conversation because of shyness.

alpha male traits

If you’re looking to boost your confidence, start by making small adjustments in how you interact with people.

For example, wear a classy outfit, and approach the beautiful woman at the bar. Over time you will become a man that women orbit around. But confidence does not happen overnight. First, you need to start changing how you perceive yourself and then drop habits and layers of insecurity that want to keep you in the illusion of safety.

5. Brilliant conversationalist

alpha male traits

If there’s one trait that encompasses the modern alpha male, it’s being an excellent communicator AND listener.

The traditional image of an alpha male is the strong, dark, mysterious type.

But, do they build real connections, intimacy, and trust with women?

Or is he more likely to be in a woman’s wet dreams, but she keeps out of her real life because she knows he won’t fulfill all of her needs?

As a male sex and relationship coach, I can tell you it’s the latter.

Women want a sexy man, but also one that will make them feel safe and cared for.

They want someone who will listen at the end of the day and make their stomach hurt from all the laughter.

You will get much further with a woman by being enigmatic and investing in your interpersonal relationships than being a sulky hardass who can’t hold a conversation.  

6. Exudes power

Power is attractive as it is the enabler for accomplishment.

Being around a man who can get sh*t is what a high-value woman desires. These women have dreams and ambitions of their own and don’t want to be held back by a man who gets in his way.

Power is an aura — people can actually sense it.

alpha male traits

Your subtle gestures, body language, tone, and expressions are all part of what makes a man seem powerful.

Your legacy is a signifier of your power. What you have created, surmounted, and achieved in your life is proof of power.

alpha male traits

Whether it’s building your own business, being a self-made success, looking after your family, or succeeding in your hobbies – these set the record straight that you are a powerful alpha male.

If you want to reveal power while dating, make sure to have a soft gaze on their face and focus on easy smiles and gentle nods.

You know your power and presence, so you’re not looking to over-please.

Next, you need to appreciate her power — stay attuned to her and never sway your focus.

A rookie move here is to check your phone, so keep it on silent!

If you already have a partner, learn how to regain the upper hand in the relationship to improve the dynamic, connection,  -and sex.

7. Warm and cheerful presence

alpha male traits

A warm personality instantly makes those around you feel at ease. And luckily, this is a simple trait to acquire. Think about being approachable, caring, and empathetic.

Again, this will seem highly counterintuitive for men who are sold the masochistic version of the alpha male. The “make her work for your time” advice is plastered over the internet and leaves men struggling even to get a first date.

Essentially, these men are brainwashed into thinking cold and aloof will turn a woman on.

Women want to feel alluring, and you need to learn how to show a girl you’re interested. And you show them how captivated you are by showing them genuine warmth — not by figuratively pulling pigtails or waiting days to get back to them.

Take a curious and cheerful approach to your interactions with others — not like nice guys trying to please people. Instead, simply allow people to be comfortable and open in your presence.

8. Charming

Charming men will always have the edge over everybody else because of this impulsive and seductive trait. However, sometimes charm will come with a side of roguishness — think Tyler Durden from Fight Club, Tony Stark in Iron Man, or Rick Blaine in Casablanca.

alpha male traits

All of these characters ooze charm. They may not be better looking than other guys but have something far more important than physical prowess — these men are magnetic with their quick humor and captivating presence.

Every person on the planet experiences self-doubt — it’s not avoidable. However, true alphas transform their insecurities by confronting them with a growth mindset. This bolsters their strong sense of self assurance and allows the alpha leader to shine through.

9. Remembers the little things

Getting right down to basics, whether you’re dating or in a relationship — appreciation and curiosity go a long way.

If you do something you can do to make your partner’s day easier — do it!

Express gratitude. Be curious about her day. Women get turned on mentally and emotionally FIRST.

Remember to touch and stroke and love your partner. Women enjoy their sex lives far more when they can trust that physical affection on the man’s side doesn’t automatically mean he’s looking for sex.

So when mastering how to turn a woman on  — you have to consider more than just the bedroom.

alpha male traits

Look after her and care for her. As the alpha male, it’s crucial to be the gentleman that treats her to picturesque nights out. You want her to feel like the relationship, and YOU are out of a movie.

Little gestures go a long way to make her heart beat faster.

Try something as simple as remembering where she likes her coffee from and surprising her one morning with a steaming brew.

alpha male traits

Another hot tip is to notice her body language. Women have a higher basal body temperature than men, meaning she’s often going to feel colder than you are. So when her shoulders bunch up to her ears, give her your jacket or a blanket.

Caring for your woman’s needs is real alpha male territory.


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

10. Mesmerizing tone of voice

Know of the 7-38-55 rule?

In 1971, psychology professor Albert Mehrabian developed a theory that lays out the communication of emotions in high-stakes negotiations.

So, what’s this rule?

Your body language makes up 55% of your communication, and 33% boils down to the tone of voice. Words only account for 7% of how we communicate.

So how can you use this knowledge to connect with your alpha male?

alpha male traits

The way you say something can do a lot to command respect, make women feel comfortable in your presence, and draw her into a conversation. Experiment with different tones staying in touch with your self-esteem.

Women are attracted to deep, sultry tones as they suggest leadership qualities and an alpha man. Men with low-pitched voices tend to have higher success in various social contexts, from mating to socio-economic and even political.

In contrast, beta males may have a higher pitch.

11. Excellent listener

alpha male traits

Alpha men see the value of listening to people.

James Bond sums it up perfectly, “Why is it that people who can’t take advice always insist on giving it?”

Alpha men have the self respect not to bulldoze over other people’s sentences. But on the other hand, men incapable of listening often feel insecure that they are not important enough without constantly verbally proving their self-worth.

Pay attention when people are speaking — zoning out and becoming disinterested shows clearly in your tone or voice and body language. Women, in particular, will pick this up.

If she asks whether you’re listening or not — it’s a rhetorical question.

Successful alpha males don’t just nod along. They ask questions to understand the person better during conversations. Their posture shows a woman that their attention is fully on her.

When joining into a conversation, alpha males are mindful. A beta male will take over, only listening so that they can one-up with a similar story.

A true alpha male uses their own experience to provide context and create a connection in your conversation.

12. Communicates through touch

alpha male traits

Let’s get into the biology of touch communication first.

Haptic communication is a branch of nonverbal communication that refers to how people and animals communicate and interact via the sense of touch.

Alpha males understand that touch is the most sophisticated and intimate of the five senses. Touch or haptics, from the ancient Greek word haptikos, is crucial to settle and own the top spot in the social hierarchy.

Of all of the traits of an alpha, touch is likely the most underestimated. Many men assume that aggressive dominance is the surest way to climb the pecking order. A firm handshake exudes power, charisma, and confidence.

Women are drawn to alpha males because of their emotional intelligence  — and well-placed touch is a marker of an intuitive man.

He can read her body and feel when she desires his touch. Next, he plays with touch, starting with feather-light intimacy, such as brushing knees together.

Touch can be artful, and a well-placed touch builds attraction like nothing else.

Get comfortable with touch, watch out for indicators that she wants you to make a move, and finally, make it look natural. It’s in your best interest to enjoy touch with comfort and ease.

13. Master in the art of foreplay

alpha male traits

The typical alpha male is adept in the art of foreplay. As a result, he has no difficulty attracting women and, even less, keep their sexual fires lit.

Foreplay begins outside the bedroom. It’s the message that shows his lover she’s on his mind. The cheeky ass grab during morning breakfast shows her just how much he adores her body.

Women need to feel desired to access their sensuality.

Alphas prioritize making her feel secure and aroused rather than showing off her physical strength and endowment during sex. He’s confident in his body and, throughout foreplay, is mostly concerned with building tension for her pleasure.

14. A fully consensual lover

Many beta males believe that they will always be fully consensual with women. However, they may overestimate the strength of their will.

There’s no point pretending this isn’t a regular occurrence in our society with the number of women experiencing sexual assault.

These men find themselves in the heat of the moment — filled with longing and passion. And for any number of reasons, the woman does not feel the same.

The difference between alpha and beta males is that the alpha male accepts her decision and caringly asks what she’d prefer, whether that’s to snuggle or be taken home. He will do this humbly and make no deal out of it.

Some beta males tend to try charm or reasking the question over and over to pressure her into a situation. This is a total lack of respect and shows their weak will. They are not master over their sexual energy; rather it controls their decisions.


Unleash the secrets of your inner fire of willpower, harness your sacred sexual energy, and embody healthy masculine energy.

15. Empathetic

When learning to become an alpha male, gaining empathy is a vital step — the ability to understand human behavior and share the feelings of another.

Although it’s important not to take people’s emotions on, there’s no such thing as gaining too much perspective on the human experience. Empathy allows you to understand people better — including women.

alpha male traits

Refusing to understand women’s side of a disagreement is a sure sign of toxic masculinity. The tunnel vision that comes from men who only want to get their way lays ruin to far too many relationships.

While women might be sold the image of the perfect man being a strong, hard-headed brute, but the truth is that alpha traits are often bold, self-confident, and emotionally intelligent.

Additionally, a true alpha male has the mature understanding that not wanting to have sex is a natural tendency not just in women but in men as well.

16. Continuous self-improvement

You’ll hear self-improvement many times a day — but for alpha males, the reality and commitment to self-improvement come down to a simple question:

Do you want to live with all that life has to offer, or would you rather be a cog in the machine?

alpha male traits

See, alpha males cannot bear to let their lives become a backstory. They are not content letting themselves be pushed over.

They are committed to optimal well-being, becoming dominant individuals, and making tough decisions when everyone else is willing to shirk responsibilities.

A beta male is happy with what he has and won’t aim for the stars. Instead, alpha males enjoy pushing themselves to their limits, growing, and gaining new talents. The life of the beta on the surface may be easier, but real alpha men have the world as their oyster and aren’t afraid to seize it.

This self-improvement unfolds in their relationships with women, as well as in dominating their careers.

17. Self-discipline

alpha male traits

19th-century American author Elbert Hubbard perfectly captures the secret to self-discipline as “the ability to do what you have to do when you have to do it, whether you feel like it or not.”

Meditation is one of the most powerful practices in attaining self-discipline. Think about it — to become your best self you need to reach your goals. The mind is the biggest roadblock to achieving anything. It comes up with all forms of resistance.

Once you have the capacity to reach your goals, you’ll find women naturally more drawn to you. Women in the seat of their feminine power and sensuality gravitate towards men overflowing with masculine energy and power.

Take this tantric meditation to awaken your male energy, sexuality, and focus:

18. Affirm their self worth

To become equal to other alpha males, you have to build self-respect, self-esteem, and self-awareness.

Naturally, you’ll being see high-value women attracted to these alpha traits.

Here are ten affirmations. Choose 2-3 or create your own and repeat them throughout the day, every day.

Watch the neural pathways rewire, and the opportunities in your life expand:

  1. I am king in my life.
  2. Incredible opportunities exist for me in all areas of my life.
  3. I love challenges — they bring out the alpha within.
  4. I don’t compare myself to other men — I am unique.
  5. I choose happiness and abundance.
  6. I treat everyone with respect and kindness.
  7. I am calm and at ease.
  8. No one is more qualified to live my life than me.
  9. I release negative thoughts and feelings about myself.
  10. I make my own choices with integrity and confidence.

19. Self-hypnosis

Self-hypnosis is the ideal method for alpha males to reinforce a positive mindset and building unshakable self-belief and confidence.  

Not only that, but it’s also a means of focusing, becoming more self-aware, and motivating yourself towards reaching your goals.

According to Time, hypnosis can alter immune function in ways that offset stress and reduce susceptibility to viral infections.

It works by obliterating the ego and helping you to step into your highest self.


So, we’ve thoroughly explored alpha male traits that make you attractive in these 19 steps. Much of what it takes to become an alpha male actually comes down to reprogramming the subconscious mind. And in The Tantric Man Experience, we help you to reprogram the mind with hypnosis.

Researching these traits is a great springboard for a man wanting to take charge in his life and get the woman of his dreams.

However, a program, mentor, support, and tools are what will activate your alpha male in the least amount of time.

You could spend years learning how to do all of this work yourself — or fast-track your evolution with a free masterclass from a world-class male relationship expert and coach.

If you’re lonely and struggling to find a worthwhile relationship, or seek to repair your current relationship, watch my free training.


What are the traits of a real alpha male?

Alpha males are the top dog in the socio-hierarchal structure. Common traits include confidence, power, self awareness, empathy, and charm.
Because of this, they tend to earn more money than the beta male.

What are alpha males attracted to?

Alpha males are attracted to beautiful — and not just aesthetically — women. These women are independent yet open, strong, and soft. Like them, they have balance and self-confidence in spades.

What is an alpha male like in bed?

An alpha male is adventurous in bed — he’s not content with vanilla missionary sex. Also, he will talk dirty, explore your body, and whispers dirty things in his woman’s ear. And he also takes great pleasure in arousing his partner to wild heights.

What is an alpha male in a relationship?

Alpha males are leaders in their relationships. While not controlling in the traditional, suffocating sense, they are open about their desires and needs and don’t wait for a potential mate to approach them and instead prefer making the first move.

Who are alpha male examples?

Here’s a short list of guys with alpha male traits:
Bill Gates
Warren Buffet
Elon Musk
Muhammed Ali
Cristiano Ronaldo
Frank Sinatra
George Clooney
Of course, they are plenty of other men in the world who assume this status.

What is an alpha character’s personality?

An alpha is a leader — he is self-assured, confident, and powerful in all of his pursuits. Alpha males are top dogs in their field, don’t hold back in life, and tend to have an enigmatic presence.

What would an alpha male do?

An alpha male strives toward excellence in all areas of his life. He crushes it in his fitness regime, succeeds in his career, and is a highly attentive lover and partner.

What does an alpha male need?

An alpha male typically needs a partner who understands his fundamental needs in life. Most important thing for a guy with alpha male traits is that he needs someone who will be there to listen to him, encourage him, challenge him, and celebrate wins with him.



Unleash the secrets of your inner fire of willpower, harness your sacred sexual energy, and embody healthy masculine energy.


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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

Steffo Shambo is the founder of The Tantric Man Experience. The #1 masculine mentorship program in the world, where he’s helping men master confidence, sexuality, & purpose to reignite the passion in their relationship or attract a meaningful relationship. He’s on a mission to spread a conscious sexual revolution for men worldwide so that they can show up as integrated partners, fathers, and leaders.

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