19 Charismatic Alpha Male Traits That Make You Attractive

Steffo Shambo

Published on Dec 9, 2023
alpha male traits

Everyone wants to be the man who makes people’s heads sway when he enters the room and is literally a walking magnet to women. 

Now, that person isn’t just any guy. He is the guy. 

No, this isn’t about having the most expensive cars or a chiseled jawline gifted by the gods. It’s all about having the alpha male traits that people simply can’t resist. 

All men have an alpha side within them. However, not everyone knows how to unleash it to see more success in their professional and personal lives. It’s what keeps men envious of you and women up late at night drooling over you. 

Right now, it probably sounds too good to be true. The reality is that being that guy has some serious benefits. 

Full of power, charm, and energy, the king of the jungle naturally attracts whatever comes his way.

What is an alpha male?

Alpha males are men at the top of the social status hierarchy. They’re the leaders that people look up to and listen to. Everyone naturally approves of an alpha male in the room and tends to seek his validation. 

In social settings, alpha males tend to stand out as the ones in most control. They’re the men who make the decisions and determine the direction of the wave. 

However, many people disapprove of the term alpha male.

And it’s important to know why before we go any further into exploring alpha male traits.

The origins of the term “alpha male”

The alpha male term was made famous by David Mech, an American biologist and author, in his 1970s book The Wolf: The Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species

He explained his belief that alpha wolves rose through the ranks by dominating competing male wolves. He gathered that aggression and assertiveness were critical traits to attain dominance.

alpha male traits

Mech later revoked this theory and stated that alpha males claimed this role by mating and producing pups, which then became their pack.

Unfortunately, his first theory made waves and seemed to stick.

Many men ran with the initial theory. They believe “real men” get beautiful women and make piles of cash by throwing their weight around and treating everyone as inferior.

If that’s the kind of article you’re looking for, Tantric Academy is not for you.

This article will explore how true alpha males attract women, become natural leaders, and succeed in their lives.

What are the real alpha male traits?

alpha male traits

From the list of characteristics, here are some of the top alpha male traits: 

  • Full conviction
  • Natural speakers
  • Exudes power
  • Warm and cheerful presence
  • Highly attentive and mindful
  • Mesmerizing tone of voice
  • Excellent listeners
  • High self-respect

And more. 

You’ll notice almost all these traits in most alpha men since they’re a tough nut to crack. In other words, they’re physically and mentally strong. 

Moreover, you can describe the alpha male personality type as having full self-confidence, discipline, and dominance. All of them are determined to succeed and become the best in what they do. 

1. Takes charge

The key to taking charge is to remove the fear of failure. 

In truth, alpha males accept their failures and see them as learnings that will fuel their development and success. 

If you believe you’re not reaching your goals because of certain traits you possess, great. You are aware of any area you need to address, which is part of the process of becoming a successful alpha male.

By using weaknesses or limitations to your advantage, they stop becoming your defining characteristics as you learn to become more masculine.

In the bedroom, alpha men take charge and let the woman release her inhibitions while also taking care to meet her sexual needs.

alpha male traits

An alpha male has control over his mind. He instills a sense of confidence and trustworthiness. 

Your self-confidence will ripple into your external world, allowing you to take charge with a bold determination. Such rigor and tenacity stimulate intrigue in the opposite sex.

2. Confident posture

For many beta males, posture is something you will need to improve. 

Those who have played small in their lives will often subconsciously roll their shoulders in to appear smaller physically, so they narrow their target to prevent getting hurt.

Tantric yoga poses can help build strength and flexibility while becoming used to taking up space on the mat. A relaxed, open, and solid posture brings with it an attractive and confident air. 

According to Frontiers in Psychology, it was revealed that facial masculinity and jawbone prominence increased perceived romantic attraction in the opposite sex:

“For overall partner attractiveness, eyebrow thickness and jawbone prominence were relatively more salient than cheekbone prominence and eye size.”

Whenever you’re talking to a woman, turn your body towards her. Show that you’re attentive to the conversation. Maintain eye contact with your chin up slightly. Tilting your chin slightly upwards creates a sharper, sexier jawline.

3. Stays in shape

alpha male traits

Devoting time and energy to your mental and physical health shows you prioritize yourself. This is alpha male energy. 

The goal isn’t to be ripped and muscular or look like a Marvel character. Having a fit, healthy body is an attractive by-product of looking after your holistic health.

Examine your diet. Look for balanced nutrition with an emphasis on whole foods. These foods are naturally higher in fiber, meaning you won’t feel the need to snack when you’re not hungry.

Also, ensure you’re getting enough polyunsaturated fat—think fatty fish such as the following:

  • Salmon
  • Pine nuts
  • Pecans
  • Flaxseed oil

The bonus of these fats? They increase penis blood flow and circulation, which helps significantly with libido.

4. Projects confidence

Oozing complete self-confidence instantly marks you as an alpha male. 

You appear self-assured and far more attractive than someone trying to avoid eye contact and conversation because of shyness. 

Here’s what another report on eye contact by the Frontiers in Psychology mentioned:

“Research shows that arousal is significantly enhanced while participants make eye contact.”

alpha male traits

Make small adjustments to how you interact with people to boost your confidence. 

For example, wear a classy outfit and approach a beautiful woman at the bar. Over time, you will become a man that women orbit around

But confidence does not happen overnight. 

First, you need to start changing how you perceive yourself and then drop habits and layers of insecurity that want to keep you in the illusion of safety. 

An alpha male doesn’t walk around giving off insecure vibes. He’s the type to step into the room and make people naturally sit up with their backs straight.

5. Brilliant conversationalist

alpha male traits

If one trait encompasses the modern alpha male, it’s being an excellent communicator AND listener. 

Most alpha males are naturally talented conversationalists. It’s almost always in conversation that they come across as natural and charming. 

However, not every alpha male was born as a powerful speaker. There are alpha men who are natural introverts who learn to become extroverted. They commit to honing their speaking skills. 

The traditional image of an alpha male is the strong, dark, mysterious type

But do they build real connections, intimacy, and trust with women?

Or is he more likely to be in a woman’s wet dreams but keep out of her life because she knows he won’t fulfill all of her needs?

As a male sex and intimacy coach, I can tell you it’s the latter.

Women want a sexy alpha male that will make them feel safe and cared for.

They want someone who will listen at the end of the day and make their stomach hurt from all the laughter. 

You will get much further with a woman by being enigmatic and investing in your interpersonal relationships than being a sulky hardass who can’t hold a conversation.

6. Exudes power

Power is attractive, especially to our ego. It’s a big motivator for accomplishment. 

Being around a man who can get sh*t done is what a high-value woman desires

These women have dreams and ambitions of their own. They don’t want to be held back by a man who gets in his way. 

Power is an aura. People can sense it.

alpha male traits

The following can make any man, even if he’s not an alpha male, seem more powerful than he really is: 

  • Subtle gestures
  • Body language
  • Tone
  • Expressions 

These are all things that an alpha male has developed to a high degree.Your legacy is a signifier of your power. What you have created, surmounted, and achieved in your life is proof of power.

alpha male traits

Whether it’s building your own business, being a self-made success, looking after your family, or succeeding in your hobbies – these set the record straight that you are a powerful alpha male.

If you want to reveal power while dating, make sure to have a soft gaze on their face and focus on easy smiles and gentle nods. 

You know your power and presence, so you’re not looking to over-please

Next, you must appreciate her presence. Stay attuned to her and never sway your focus. A rookie and beta move here is to check your phone, so keep it on silent!

Already have a partner? Then, work on single-handedly improving the relationship as an alpha male. Take your love life to greater lengths by continuously becoming a better man and bringing your significant other along.

7. Warm and cheerful presence

alpha male traits

The warm alpha personality makes those around him feel at ease. Fortunately, this is a trait that everyone can acquire. 

Think about being approachable and caring.

Again, this will seem highly counterintuitive for men who are sold the masochistic version of the alpha male. The “make her work for your time” advice is plastered over the internet, leaving men struggling even to get a first date. 

Essentially, these men are brainwashed into thinking that being cold and aloof will turn a woman on.

Women want to feel alluring. You can get women interested in you by making them feel genuine warmth in dialogue. Not by figuratively pulling pigtails or waiting days to get back to them.

Take a curious and cheerful approach to your interactions with others, not like nice guys trying to please people. Women can pick up when you force yourself to be someone else and not your authentic self.

Instead, simply allow people to be comfortable and open in your presence.

8. Charming

Men with a charm will always have the edge over everybody else. Having a charm allows you to seduce women naturally like a pro. 

Now, sometimes charm will come with a side of roguishness. Think of some of these alpha male figures: 

  • Tyler Durden from Fight Club
  • Tony Stark in Iron Man
  • Rick Blaine in Casablanca
alpha male traits

All of these alpha male characters ooze charm. They may not be better looking than other guys. But, they have something far more important than physical appearance: these men are magnetic with their quick humor and captivating presence.

Every person on the planet experiences self-doubt. It’s not avoidable. 

However, a true alpha male transforms his insecurities by confronting them with a growth mindset. This bolsters their strong sense of self-assurance and allows the alpha leader to shine through.

9. Remembers the little things

Alpha men have strong attention to detail and put an effort into being mindful. Hence, an alpha male typically remembers all the little things and intricate details.

Appreciation and curiosity go a long way. It’s the small things that count the most. So, never be afraid to point out or do something to improve your partner’s day. 

Express gratitude. Be curious about how she’s doing. Women get turned on mentally and emotionally first.

Touch, stroke, and love your partner.

Women enjoy their sex lives far more when they can trust that physical affection on the man’s side doesn’t automatically mean he’s looking for sex. 

When you want to turn a woman on, you have to consider more than just the bedroom.

alpha male traits

Look after her and care for her. As the alpha male, it’s crucial to be the gentleman who treats her to picturesque nights out. You want her to feel like the relationship, and YOU are out of a movie. 

Little gestures go a long way to make her heart beat faster. 

Try something as simple as remembering where she likes her coffee from. Or, surprise her one morning with a steaming brew.

alpha male traits

Another hot tip is to notice her body language. 

Women have a higher basal body temperature than men, meaning they will often feel colder than you are. So when her shoulders bunch up to her ears, give her your jacket or a blanket. 

Caring for your woman’s needs is real alpha male territory.


Boost your confidence, master your sexuality, and find your purpose.

So you can reignite the passion in your relationship or attract your perfect woman.

10. Mesmerizing tone of voice

In 1971, psychology professor Albert Mehrabian developed a theory that lays out the communication of emotions in high-stakes negotiations. 

As stated in an NCBI report, the 7-38-55 rule is basically the following:

  • Words only account for 7% of how we communicate
  • 33% of communication boils down to tone of voice
  • Body language makes up for a total of 55% of communication

So how can you use this knowledge to connect with your alpha male?

alpha male traits

The way you say something can do a lot to command respect, make women feel comfortable in your presence, and draw people into a conversation. Experiment with different tones.

Women are attracted to deep, sultry tones as they suggest leadership qualities and an alpha man. Men with low-pitched voices tend to succeed more in various social contexts, from mating to socio-economic and even political. 

An article by the American Institute of Physics even mentions that:

“Deeper male voices in primates, including humans, offer more than sex appeal—they may have evolved as another way for males to drive off competitors.”

Unlike an alpha male, a beta male sounds more like a boy than a man. Beta males tend to have a higher pitch. 

11. Excellent listener

alpha male traits

Alpha men see the value of listening to people. 

James Bond sums it up perfectly:

“Why is it that people who can’t take advice always insist on giving it?”

Alpha men have the self-respect not to bulldoze over other people’s sentences. But on the other hand, men incapable of listening often feel insecure that they are not important enough without constantly trying to prove their self worth.

Pay attention when people are speaking. 

Zoning out and being disinterested shows clearly in your voice and body language. Your actions say much more than the new relationship questions you might ask to build a connection. 

If she asks whether you’re listening or not, it’s a rhetorical question. 

A successful alpha male doesn’t just nod along. They ask questions to understand the person better during conversations. Their posture shows a woman that their attention is fully on her.

When joining into a conversation, alpha males are mindful. A beta male will take over, only listening so that they can one-up with a similar story. 

An alpha male uses their own experience to provide context and create a connection with the other person. 

12. Communicates through touch

alpha male traits

Let’s get into the biology of touch communication first.

Haptic communication is a branch of nonverbal communication that refers to how people and animals communicate and interact via the sense of touch. 

Alpha males understand that touch is the most sophisticated and intimate of the five senses. Touch or haptics, from the ancient Greek word haptikos, is crucial to settling and owning the top spot in the social hierarchy.

Of all of the traits of an alpha male, touch is likely the most underestimated. 

Many men assume that aggressive dominance is the surest way to climb the pecking order. A firm handshake exudes power, charisma, and confidence. In reality, a man in touch with his feminine side can become even more powerful and attractive.

Women are drawn to alpha males because of their emotional intelligence. Therefore, well-placed touch is a marker of an intuitive man.

An alpha male can read her body and feel when she desires his touch. Next, he plays with touch, starting with feather-light intimacy, such as brushing his knees together.

Touch can be artful. So, get comfortable with it and watch out for indicators that she wants you to make a move. 

Finally, be natural. It’s in your best interest to enjoy touch without forcing it.

13. Master in the art of foreplay

alpha male traits

The typical alpha male is adept in the art of foreplay. He has no difficulty in attracting women and keeping their sexual fires lit. 

Foreplay begins outside the bedroom. It’s the message that shows his lover she’s on his mind. The cheeky ass grab during morning breakfast shows her just how much he adores her body.

Women need to feel desired to access their sensuality. 

Alphas prioritize making her feel secure and aroused rather than showing off her physical strength and endowment during sex. He’s confident in his own body, too.

Throughout foreplay, he’s mostly concerned with building tension for her pleasure.

14. A fully consensual lover

Many beta males believe that they will always be fully consensual with women. However, they may overestimate the strength of their will. 

There’s no point pretending this isn’t a regular occurrence in our society with the number of women experiencing sexual assault.

Beta men find themselves in the heat of the moment, often with a lack of self-control. They are filled with longing and passion. And for any number of reasons, the woman does not feel the same. 

The difference between alpha and beta males is that the alpha male accepts her decision and caringly asks what she’d prefer, whether to snuggle or be taken home. He will do this humbly and make no deal out of it. 

Some beta males tend to try to charm or insist on pressuring her into an uncomfortable situation. This is a total lack of respect and shows their weak will. They are not in control over their own sexual energy and emotions.


Unleash the secrets of your inner fire of willpower, harness your sacred sexual energy, and embody healthy masculine energy.

15. Empathetic

When learning to become an alpha male, empathy is a vital step. This is the ability to understand human behavior and share the feelings of another.

Although it’s important not to take people’s emotions on, there’s no such thing as gaining too much perspective on the human experience. Empathy allows you to understand people better, including women.

alpha male traits

Refusing to understand women’s side of a disagreement is a sure sign of toxic masculinity. 

The tunnel vision from men who only want to get their way lays ruin to far too many relationships. 

While women might be sold the image of the perfect man being a strong, hard-headed brute, the reality is that the alpha traits of men aren’t only that. They’re also emotionally intelligent.

Additionally, a true alpha male has the mature understanding that not wanting to have sex is a natural tendency not just in women but in men as well.

16. Continuous self-improvement

For alpha males, the reality and commitment to self-improvement come down to a simple question:

Do you want to live with all that life has to offer, or would you rather be a cog in the machine?

alpha male traits

Alpha males cannot bear to let their lives become a backstory. They are not content letting themselves be pushed over. 

Alpha men are committed to optimal well-being, becoming dominant individuals, and making tough decisions when everyone else is willing to shirk responsibilities.

A beta male is happy with what he has and won’t aim for the stars. In contrast, alpha males enjoy pushing themselves to their limits, growing, and gaining new talents. 

The life of the beta on the surface may be easier. But real alpha men have the world as their oyster and aren’t afraid to seize it. This self-improvement unfolds in their relationships with women and in dominating their careers.

17. Self-discipline

alpha male traits

19th-century American author Elbert Hubbard perfectly captures the secret to self-discipline as the following:

“The ability to do what you have to do when you have to do it, whether you feel like it or not.”

Meditation is one of the most powerful practices in attaining self-discipline. 

Think about it. To become your best self, you need to reach your goals. The mind is the biggest roadblock to achieving anything. It comes up with all forms of resistance. 

Once you have the capacity to reach your goals, you’ll find women naturally more drawn to you. Women in the seat of their feminine power and sensuality gravitate towards men overflowing with masculine energy and power.

Watch the tantric meditation video below to awaken your male energy, sexuality, and focus:

18. Affirm their self worth

To become equal to other alpha males, you have to build self-respect, self-esteem, and self-awareness. 

Quite frankly, alphas don’t take sh*t from anyone. They’re the farthest thing you’ll see from being a people-pleaser. Naturally, you’ll see high-value women attracted to these alpha traits because they love a man who can stand his ground.

Here are ten affirmations. Choose 2-3 or create your own and repeat them throughout the day, every day.

Watch the neural pathways rewire, and the opportunities in your life expand:

  1. I am king in my life.
  2. Incredible opportunities exist for me in all areas of my life.
  3. I love challenges — they bring out the alpha within.
  4. I don’t compare myself to other men — I am unique.
  5. I choose happiness and abundance.
  6. I treat everyone with respect and kindness.
  7. I am calm and at ease.
  8. No one is more qualified to live my life than me.
  9. I release negative thoughts and feelings about myself.
  10. I make my own choices with integrity and confidence.

19. Self-hypnosis

Self-hypnosis is the ideal method for alpha males to reinforce a positive mindset and build unshakable self-belief and confidence.  

Not only that, but it’s also a means of focusing and motivating yourself towards reaching your goals.

This one report emphasizes the effectiveness of self-hypnosis: 

“Results showed significant decreases in fatigue, sleep difficulties, and emotional distress postintervention for the hypnosis/group intervention.”

One way self-hypnosis works is by obliterating the ego and helping you to step into your highest self.

How to tell apart alpha males from beta males

The differences are quite clear, both physically and psychologically. A beta male is the exact opposite of an alpha male. 

All the inspirational qualities of an alpha male? Not for beta males. 

Betas are not the type of people you would find inspirational. They’re often concerned about what others think, require approval and validation, and have little to no self-awareness. An alpha, on the other hand, is nowhere near Mr Nice Guy.

Trusting a beta male can also have some considerable consequences. 

Betas have a tendency to do what’s best for themselves rather than what’s right. For others, they might be draining to put up with. It’s common to find betas with an anxious attachment style

7 clear signs you’re a beta male and not a true alpha male

Do you notice yourself or anyone you know with the following signs below: 

  • Fails to take on leadership roles successfully
  • Lack of confidence 
  • No self-conviction 
  • Awkward speakers
  • Unreliable
  • Refuses to take accountability 
  • No self-discipline

If so, there’s a chance you have part of the beta male within you.

However, fear not. It’s not impossible to convert into an alpha male. Much of what it takes to become an alpha male actually comes down to reprogramming the subconscious mind.

The most important place to start when taking the next step forward in self-development is your mindset. A weak mindset leads to weak self-control and discipline, hence making you more prone to falling back into bad habits and never becoming the person you want to be.


There you have it. Now you know what qualities to develop to transform from just “one of the other guys” to “the guy.” 

Work on developing each of the alpha male traits discussed in this article to step up your game in the dating scene. After all, why blend in as just another forgettable fish when you could become the shark of the ocean? 

And no, I’m not talking about the scary type of shark you saw from Jaws. I’m talking about the kind of shark that you would want at your pool party!

Becoming an alpha male isn’t all about having big muscles and flexing in front of the mirror, telling yourself you’re the most dominant male around. It’s about rewiring your subconscious mind. 

Now, reading about becoming an alpha male and actually becoming one are two different things. If you want to ignite the engines of your dating life by transforming yourself into the ideal man, watch my free men’s dating masterclass

In the free masterclass, you’ll get all the essential set of tools to go from Clark Kent into Superman. Minus the cape and tights, of course.


What are the characteristics of an alpha male?

Alpha males are the top dog in the socio-hierarchal structure. Common traits include high self-confidence, self-awareness, empathy, and charisma. They have full conviction in their decisions and rarely ever doubt themselves. 

How can you tell if a man is an alpha?

You can tell if a man is an alpha male by his personality, how he carries himself, and how he treats others. Alpha males are leaders: self-assured, confident, and reliable in all of their pursuits. 

You can count on an alpha male when the going gets tough, as they tend to be the top dogs in their field. They go all in on everything they do, holding nothing back in life. Moreover, they tend to have an enigmatic presence, which often captures the attention and interest of others.

What are the 4 types of alpha males?

The four types of alpha males are the following: commanders, strategists, visionaries, and executors. However, it’s worth noting that there are also four male archetypes: king, warrior, magician, and lover.

What are alpha males attracted to?

Alpha males are attracted to achieving their dreams as well as beautiful women. A beautiful woman to an alpha male is someone with more than just looks. She’s an intelligent, charming, strong, and soft person whom an alpha male can trust as his support. Like alpha males, these types of women have balance in their innate essence and high self-confidence.

What is an alpha male like in bed?

An alpha male is adventurous in bed. He’s not content with vanilla missionary sex. Also, he will talk dirty, explore your body, and whisper dirty things in his woman’s ear. And he also takes great pleasure in arousing his partner to wild heights.

What is an alpha male in a relationship?

An alpha male is a leader in their relationships. While not controlling in the traditional, suffocating sense, they are open about their desires and needs and don’t wait for a potential mate to approach them; instead, they prefer making the first move.

Who are alpha male examples?

Here’s a short list of guys with alpha male traits: Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Elon Musk, Muhammed Ali, Cristiano Ronaldo, Frank Sinatra, and George Clooney. Of course, plenty of other men in the world assume the status of an alpha male.

What would an alpha male do?

An alpha male strives toward excellence in all areas of his life. He crushes it in his fitness regime, succeeds in his career, and is a highly attentive lover and partner.

What does an alpha male need?

An alpha male typically needs a partner who understands his fundamental needs in life. The most important thing for a guy with alpha male traits is that he needs someone who will be there to listen to him, encourage him, challenge him, and celebrate wins with him. 



Unleash the secrets of your inner fire of willpower, harness your sacred sexual energy, and embody healthy masculine energy.


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Steffo Shambo

Steffo Shambo

Men's Tantric Relationship Coach

I am the founder of The Tantric Man Experience™, a pioneering transformational coaching program for men. With over 1500 hours of certified tantra training in India and Thailand and 7 years of experience helping hundreds of men worldwide save their marriages and reignite passion in their love lives.

I have over 8 million views on YouTube and have been featured on VICE and Newstalk Radio for my life’s work - helping men unleash their full masculine potential.

My holistic FLT method seamlessly integrates ancient tantric philosophy with my modern expertise in relationships, sexuality, dating, and men’s health.

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